Conflict with Charge Nurse

Nurses General Nursing

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Today, i had to hand off report to a charge nurse. She trained me when i first started and i had to switch preceptors to get what i needed inorder to be properly trained. I think i upset her. Today, i when i was giving her report, she was checking ALL of my work to make sure i didn't leave anything undone. I was nervous giving her report and i told her so. She asked why and i told her because i feel like nothing i do is good enough for her. She said it is because i said something about her and word got back to her, even though i have no clue what she is talking about. How do i go about resolving this conflict? Thanks

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

Tell her to grow up and start acting like the professional she is supposed to be. I'm sure if you did the same to her as she is doing to you, you would find a lot to complain about. She seems like the type of person that covers up her inadequacy by redirecting attention off of her and onto others.

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Don't say what Loricatus said to say.

It is admirable, I think, that you spoke up as YOU did. As to what you should do now:

You could secretly tape all conversations with her. Might be illegal in your state.

You could ask her exactly what it was you allegedly said about her and try to convince her that you didn't say it, although you probably did say it if you had to switch preceptors. Or don't try to convince her, just say you were having a hard time learning at the point that you were with her and the reasons were mostly to do with your own anxiety level, being new and all. Try to backpedal, apologize for not speaking directly with her about the trouble you were having getting what you needed from her at the time she was your preceptor. You probably should have, you know - although she might have taken it badly and you'd still be having trouble with her.

You could search out some of her goofs and keep a little record of them but don't let her or anyone else let her know you're doing it. Just have them as ammo in case you need it.

What a miserable way to live.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ED.
Today, i had to hand off report to a charge nurse. She trained me when i first started and i had to switch preceptors to get what i needed inorder to be properly trained. I think i upset her. Today, i when i was giving her report, she was checking ALL of my work to make sure i didn't leave anything undone. I was nervous giving her report and i told her so. She asked why and i told her because i feel like nothing i do is good enough for her. She said it is because i said something about her and word got back to her, even though i have no clue what she is talking about. How do i go about resolving this conflict? Thanks

Ask for a private meeting with her, and ask her what she thinks you said. Own up to it if you did say it, and apologize. If you didn't say it, clarify that. And then ask her if you two can start again fresh.

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Specializes in Travel Nursing, ICU, tele, etc.

I have found that when some experienced nurses agree to precept they consider it a whole lot of extra work, often they do it because not many other nurses want to precept and may even consider that they are doing you a "favor", and it really is a HUGE responsibility. It is likely when you changed preceptors, not only did she not feel appreciated for all the extra work she did for you, but, as you say, heard that you were saying negative things about her. I am not defending her but am offering a different perspective. Do you feel up for apologizing to her? I'm not saying blaming yourself. But perhaps something like, I am sorry you and I didn't get along when you were precepting me, I really appreciate your hard work, but I needed a different approach in order to learn....(I'm just making this up, for an example). You could tell her you honestly don't remember saying anything bad about her, or whatever feels right to you....

I think it would show a whole lot of maturity on your part and it may be a while before you feel that your relationship has mended, in the meantime do a great job and she won't be able to deny that you deserve her respect.

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Specializes in Surgical Nursing, Agency Nursing, LTC.

Well first of all DON't DO what Trudy RN is suggesting.

Recording conversations and keeping tract of her mistakes...Please that sounds like something Linda Tripp would do.

If you did say something about her and it indeed got back to her...admit it. If you truely meant what you said don't back down from it. If she wasn't training you properly than you have every right to get another trainer. If she has a problem with it than let it be hers not yours. Making you feel intimated is all she has to get back at you.

Maybe when it got back to her the story got twisted as we all know it happens. Confront her and let her know EXACTLY what you said so she can hear it from the horses mouth herself. Even if you have to have a meeting with the person that you requested to have another trainer with. Just to make sure it was conformed what u exactly said. If she was upset about something that wasn't what you said and wants to continue to be mad, then LET HER. I think she's mad because it got around that she wasn't doing a good job trainging you...not only did the other nurses know but probably management as well.

Don't coward down to her. Your a professional and you should carry yourself like one.

Good Luck!!!

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Yikes!! Do this, don't do that . . . here's my 2 cents. Do what you know to be right.

Follow the golden rule to handle the current situation.

Never, ever gossip. It is a habit that you must break. If the person being discussed is not there, look at your watch and say these magic words "Oh, I have to go."

Do this for six months and you will have much less to worry about.

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Specializes in Emergency.

How about thanking the charge nurse for checking that your work is done completely. Tell her that you want to do a good job and you appreciate her looking out for you.

I try to check my staff's completed charts when they turn them in (in the ER). I tell the that it's better if I catch something that needs to be corrected before the chart ends up with BIG BOSS or risk mangement. At first, my staff was very nervous about this too, but once they realized that my checking the charts wasn't punitive, and I really was trying to watch their backs, they started becoming appreciative.

Now granted, this may not be the initial motive of YOUR charge nurse, but if you act as if it is, maybe it really will become her motive.

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Don't say what Loricatus said to say.

It is admirable, I think, that you spoke up as YOU did. As to what you should do now:

You could secretly tape all conversations with her. Might be illegal in your state.

You could ask her exactly what it was you allegedly said about her and try to convince her that you didn't say it, although you probably did say it if you had to switch preceptors. Or don't try to convince her, just say you were having a hard time learning at the point that you were with her and the reasons were mostly to do with your own anxiety level, being new and all. Try to backpedal, apologize for not speaking directly with her about the trouble you were having getting what you needed from her at the time she was your preceptor. You probably should have, you know - although she might have taken it badly and you'd still be having trouble with her.

You could search out some of her goofs and keep a little record of them but don't let her or anyone else let her know you're doing it. Just have them as ammo in case you need it.

What a miserable way to live.

PLEASE tell me you're joking...this is absolutely insane :eek:

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