Completely Devastated

Published

I had recently done the nurse refresher program to get my license again, and worked in a vaccine clinic. more recently working in a sub acute area; i was fired after a few months. told i'm not able to focus, making too many errors, not able to retain new info, not able to assimilate with co workers, not high enough standards.

Yes i made errors. yes, i do see now my brain was not focusing at times, and i felt overwhelmed with reams of paperwork, lack of organization (both mine and unit)..but i'm a decent human being and was very warm with my clients, and was developing good rapport with my co workers. I'm just not very good at getting organized and have my own methods of getting things done, although it is not the protocol. I feel lost, desperate, very down, and am not super young anymore. I could go work at a clinic or as a step down from where i'm at; a long term care center (they didn't want me back at their organization due to 'poor organizational skills, and low standards'..allegedly. i had a few mishaps with staff too, as it was a bit cliquey and i didn't find a lot of the staff willing to hear my questions. no union there either.

I would love to hear some suggestions before i blow my brains out! (not really but feeling very very very down)

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I don't know how old you are but, I would guess this may be the root of the problem. I have found this clique stuff very hard to deal with. I am a last semester ADN student. I just have a different filter with which I see things as oppossed to younger people. My references are from another time. I know how hurtful it is. This nurse stuff has been brutal for me...also. Please forgive yourself. You may need to lick your wounds for a while... and that's ok.

It's hard to go back to a job and not be well received. How can you do well when noone wants to lead/mentor you. They are unorganized how can you be organize when they are unorganized? It is not ok. Many others have had the same treatment. Has nursing changed a lot since you first practiced? I hear it has. Well, recover if time/finances allows. Bless you. Your in my prayers.

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Thanks so much for such warm words. It helps me a lot to hear things like this. I am 44 by the way. Not old but not young either.

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Hospital nursing isn't for everyone. Thankfully there are other areas for nurses... I work in Public Health and love it! There is no medication to give, I have time to think before I act and no emergencies. It's great.

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Have you ever been assessed for ADD or ADHD? These diagnoses were not around when you were a kid. More and more adults are finding that their struggles have a processing or attention problem as a component. Lots of people just thought of themselves as disorganized or not particularly good at studying and were relieved to find out they were highly intelligent with a kink in their thinking.

This may not apply to you at all, but if you haven't every had an evaluation (or if it's been a long time) you might want to at least check this out.

I wish you the best in getting back on your feet.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Most inpatient nursing is very protocol-driven these days. Nurses are rarely allowed to "have their own way of doing things." It's also very busy and hectice -- requiring strong organzational skills and the ability to process lots of information quickly. If you have problems in these areas, then inpatient nursing is probably not a good fit for you. It might be best for you to simply acknowledge that and look elsewhere.

You might do better in some sort of home health job or in a cliinic in which there is a set routine repeated over and over again. You would learn the basic routine and then just do it ... not having to mentally juggle lots of rapidly changing information.

I might be totally wrong in my assessment, which I based only on your OP. But you need to assess your skills in such a way and decide what types of jobs would best for you at this time. Then, don't keep beating your head against the wall by trying jobs that don't suit you well. Focus on those that suit your particular strengths.

BTW: I am 55 and I know I am not well-suited to some of the jobs I had when I was younger. Nor would I want some of those jobs. I'm much happier in a job that suits where I am now in life and where I am now with my professional development.

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Nursing is difficult and there is a lot to do. It seems many nurses make "short cuts" to get things done rather than doing them right, maybe at the expense of the patients. Warmth is a quality I have noticed that many nurses have lost particularly in long term care. I was offered a really good position after a short time because I smile! Funny huh? Actually kind of sad. The bottom line is money and time is money so they want you to get your work done quickly no matter how it is done. I would not worry about rapport with coworkers too much because the gossip is out of hand in a lot of places. Have rapport with your patients they are the ones who need it most. I would suggest maybe home health or hospice if you can do it. It doesn't pay well sometimes but for an older compassionate nurse you might really feel rewarded by giving care to someone who desperately needs it. Keep up the good fight and I will pray for you. Just from your post I can tell you are a great nurse because you care and that is the core of every good nurse!

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Specializes in Community.

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear your experience of returning has not been a friendly, welcoming one. Nursing is supposed to be a caring profession and yet we are told the quicker you develop a thick skin the better. I worked in various office jobs prior to going into nursing and thought they were very cliquey, until I went into nursing that is. I now work as a community staff nurse after escaping the ward environment and I think it's fab! You prioritise and organise your own workload and have time to think before you act.

Always be true to yourself and don't get sucked into the cliques. Why can people not just go to work, get on with their colleagues and support each other and do the best they can?

I'm sure you are a lovely, decent person with a good bedside manner when it comes to patient care, maybe your colleagues were a tad jealous? Who knows, don't let it get you down. You can handle anything that comes your way.

xx

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
have you ever been assessed for add or adhd? these diagnoses were not around when you were a kid. more and more adults are finding that their struggles have a processing or attention problem as a component. lots of people just thought of themselves as disorganized or not particularly good at studying and were relieved to find out they were highly intelligent with a kink in their thinking.

this may not apply to you at all, but if you haven't every had an evaluation (or if it's been a long time) you might want to at least check this out.

i wish you the best in getting back on your feet.

i second the assessment for add or adhd. after being with my husband for almost 30 years, i realized that, in many ways, you are similar. he has never had trouble getting along with people, but his organizational skills are virtually nonexistent. he goes from 60 rpm to stop at warp speed. i realized years ago that he had changed from when we were younger and it finally took a threat to leave him to get him to agree to be evaluated. after hours of talking and testing, his dx was adhd. his psychiatrist said it was probably always there to some degree, but something brought it front and center. my wonderful husband has two doctorates, teaches and the students adore him, he has an international reputation, but lacks the ability to pack his backpack with what he needs for each day without reminders and prompts. he also was given a dx of ocd, which the specialists said frequently went hand in hand with adhd and add. if that sounds like you, it's controllable. ocd isn't just felix unger-type neatness and compulsive behavior. it can also be hoarding, unwillingness to part with things most of us wouldn't keep, and losing whole blocks of time because you're inside your head trying to sort things out and decide where to begin. are you unduly afraid of making a mistake? when you're at that spot in your mind, it becomes very easy to make a mistake. you worry about it so much, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes. adhd and/or ocd does not not not mean you're unintelligent or weird. your brain is just wired differently. my husband graduated summa cum laude, and is a member of phi beta kappa. but he can't mate a dryer load of socks. i have laid out clothes for him to wear the night before for years. not because i'm his mother, and not because i'm controlling, but because it saves him an hour of dithering. if a light bulb blows, he'll go to the pantry to get a new one, and return three minutes later munching on microwave popcorn that caught his eye. when i say, "where's the light bulb?" he'll answer, "what light bulb?" aarrruuuggghhhh! could this be you too?

i'm sorry this is so long. i certainly won't mention meds, and won't give medical advice, but as the wife of someone with adhd/ocd, and a former psych nurse, i'm simply sharing. if this might be you, get evaluated and tested, because you absolutely will not believe the change!

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

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I'm a new nurse and it is definitely hard work. I find myself totally drained after a long shift. Consider looking into public health, school nursing, physician's offices, flu clinics, a smaller ER, oncology, hospice (where your warm compassion might be appreciated).

Even trying another unit within the hospital. If you really feel that the management isn't doing a good job organizing, maybe try another unit and see how you adjust. I find it takes a lot of time to get organized and manage all the tasks including the paperwork and patient care. It takes at least a good 9 months to a year to really get a rhythm and feel comfortable.

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I highly suggest you consider home health nursing, extended care cases. One stable patient with routine care in the home, one nursing note each shift. If you choose to work with children or toddlers, you don't have to be concerned with heavy lifting or transfers. If you work night shift, you can spend a lot of relaxed time monitoring the baby while s/he sleeps. You would be working as a nurse, but with a slower, manageable pace. Give it some thought.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Just checking back - how are things going Pookie?

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