Co-Worker Pointing Fingers....

[Highend]

I work 2 jobs, full time ED department, part time psych rehab. I work the best of my abilities 100% of the time and love what i do, I recently run into a problem that I need some advice.

To keep this short and simple, during my part time job I work with a co-worker who likes to pretend (he/she) is all that, basically thinks (he/she) does everything right when (he/she) doesnt. Yes I sometimes dont give a certain thing, not because im lazy but because we dont have it or because the DON doesnt like problems and rather keep things smooth. I know the game, and I play it like most of us, might not be right or ethical, but its what it is as most of u know. Anyways, recently had a long time nurse who use to play the same game and actually DOES WORSE things (yes i know, doesnt make it right), but as a co-worker I kept to myself and kept my mouth shut. But recently a new position has opened and now all a sudden this person is spilling the beans on everyone except (he/she) self. A lot of nurses are getting in trouble for this, my gut is telling me to keep my mouth shut and go with it, but my personality is saying spill the beans on this person. Problem is, DON is buddy buddy with (he/she) nurse, (he/she) is a real kiss ass.... Im not as much trouble as fellow nurses, but I want to take the side of my fellow nurses and stand up for them, I feel that Im the only who will do this because I have a full time job unlike my fellow co-workers who this is their full time job. What should i do?????? Should I confront this nurse about it? Should I tell the DON and risk my reputation? Should i write an anonymous letter???

[nfdfiremedic, BSN, RN]

It's just a bunch of drama. If I were you, I'd just rise above it and do my job, ignoring whatever silly games the others decide to play with one another. It's not worth lowering yourself to get involved. Also, anonymous letters are never a good idea. If your manager is anything like me, any communication without a name on it gets tossed without even reading. If you have something to say, come tell me so we can discuss it. Anonymous = not credible.

[trixie333, ASN]

If you ever find yourself saying anything, despite your best efforts to stay out of the storm, you must be prepared. By this, I mean the only way to get it out there without too much backlash is HUMOR........take some down-time, sooner than later, review the scenarios and issues that have come up, and make an effort to put the funny into it....practice how you would say it to lay it out there, but not be hurtful...sounds like a toxic environment is trying to germinate...can be diffused w/ giggles and laughs... very sticky political situation, good luck...

[SilentfadesRPA]

I tend to agree with nfdfiremedic and rise above this. Listening to oneself and trusting that inner voice can be a lifesaver ie when you wrote the following...."my gut is telling me to keep my mouth shut ... personality is saying spill the beans on this person"

You did not say what the "beans" are and in my thinking would be paramount to the direction you take.

For example if these complaints are about significant abuse, ethics, or patient safety issues you must act. In these situation you owe to yourself to ask why you were did not address these before and know professionally one is obligated to report them. On the other hand if this job drama and personality conflicts then I would not report at all except to consider resigning if the her/his actions are causing problems for you.

" DON is buddy buddy with (he/she) nurse ". Clearly that is an issue should you wish to report.

You can either choose to risk your position and personally report or decide

that in this is a situation anonymous reporting is appropriate route.

IMO though not the preferred method anonymous reporting does not always equate to a lack of creditability. Anonymous reporting can reveal a level of fear. One that is prohibitive of correction and toxic.This is typical where professional boundaries are amassed and one knows there is no mechanism to improve situations without great personal cost.

Anonymous reporting can be a solution and is common in a environment that is not only dysfunctional but as well hostile. We all know lateral and horizontal violence that sadly it occurs in our field far too often.

Why should an individual loose their livelihood and reputation when trying to sincerely do right thing ? It is right thing in some circumstances not have to throw oneself under the bus and become a sacrificial offering when reporting a situation of significance .

You must however 1st examine and know your own true motives

Let your conscience guide you in knowing if this as is it to get said nurse in trouble ie prevent job advancement or are you reporting situations that are causing risk to patients or employees.

If your choice is anonymous letter I would send a copy to the DON administrator. This will ascertain some change and that your efforts will not just be covered up or discarded.

I really hope you are able to grow from this and have resolve with a good outcome.

Marc

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

I wonder what the "beans" are. If they are trivial, the boss will treat them as trivial. If they aren't trivial, then they should be addressed.

Soon the boss will see the method the new person is using. Such things are pretty obvious.

[NamasteNurse, BSN, RN]

I had the same experience at the last place I worked. Just stay out of it. This nurse feeds on drama and you getting involved will just feed the monster even more. Hate that part of nursing, it doesn't seem to exist in other jobs!

[caliotter3]

Since this person is buddy buddy with the boss all you would be doing by resorting to her tactics is to bring unwanted attention to yourself. Be assured the boss will see the error of your ways while simultaneously extolling the virtues of the tattle tale for advantage nurse. How badly do you want to keep this job? How much of a personal hell do you want to contribute to? Just do your job and let everyone else wallow in the drama. There is a chance that any negative consequences will have little, if any, effect on your job.

[Jules A, MSN]

Imvho the boss that is buddy buddy with the nurse in question usually knows exactly how they are and for whatever reason does not care. As hard as it is, for me anyway, keep your mouth shut, it won't do you or anyone else any favors and will likely make you look like the bad guy. Sorry it is this way but it is.

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

Voting stay out of it until someone drags you into it. Don't sling mud if you don't have to, unless there is some real abuse, serious neglect, etc. going on. That is pretty much my advice for everything. Stay under the radar unless there is something SERIOUS going on that will really hurt someone. Don't sling mud if you don't HAVE to. Are these things that would NEED to be reported to the BON? If not, keep quiet.