Chemistry Lab Report grade/friends death

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Hey all,

Last weekend my best friend died in a tragic car accident. The least of my worries was the fact that my chemistry books and notes were in his trunk and were burnt in the fire. I spoke to my chemistry lab professor about this and he practically "shooed" me away via e-mail. I didn't go to any classes all week except for his lab which was in itself a miracle that I could hold myself to do one that morning. I had to scramble for any notes that I could come up with and obviously couldn't make a decent lab report but was hoping he would be lenient considering what had happened. He gave me a 13 out of 20 and my grade went from an A- to a B. I know this doesn't seem like a huge deficit but I don't think it's fair that my grade has to suffer over circumstances I couldn't control. I was wondering if I should speak to him one-on-one? I don't want to speak to the program director because the last thing I want to do is get him in trouble and have him grade me hard every week. Should I not even worry about it? I don't know what to do, I may just bite my cheek and leave it in the past.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

Personally, I would just let it go and do better on the next ones since it wasn't a huge impact on your grade and you're still doing good. I am very sorry for what happened with your friend.

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Go and talk to him. Whatever the results are, you'll know how to deal with such things in the future. Try some new but safe things every now and then. You'll be surprised.

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Specializes in Family Medicine.

WOW. I am so sorry you have to worry about something like this in the midst of loosing your best friend.

Unfortunately, college profs get so many bogus excuses for unfinished work or assignments they become jagged to all excuses. This is really unfair for students, like you, who legitimately have something keeping them from getting their work done.

It may be helpful to talk to this prof in person. He/she would be able to see that you are really going through something difficult.

Also, do you have a dean of students? When my grandmother died my freshman year of college, I was able to get an extension on some assignments and make up a quiz when I returned back to school following the funeral. I had to submit a copy of her obituary to the dean of students (which I thought was kind of cruel) but was cleared after that.

My condolences to you.

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I actually sent him the obituary, the article and a picture of me and my friend to prove I wasn't making it up.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I actually sent him the obituary, the article and a picture of me and my friend to prove I wasn't making it up.

Yea being that he "shooed" you away via email when you tried to tell him is why I would just let it go. Some people are just more cold and jaded than others. It sucks, but it's the way it is. If it took a bigger effect on your grade than I would be more game to maybe make an issue about it. But policy's can be funny. A lot grant some leeway for the death of immediate family members but not friends. Yet I have some friends I consider more family than my own family.

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Specializes in Cath Lab & Interventional Radiology.

I am sorry for your loss! Earlier this semester my husbands grandfather died. I informed my instructor that I wouldn't be able to make it to my clinical on Friday. I figured since it was a computer training day for the hospital I was at that I could easily make it up. She promptly replied stating that was the worst day ever to miss. She also said that if I didn't show up I couldn't proceed in the clinical, and thus would be dismissed from the program. I drove the ten hours round trip on Thursday so I could make it back on Friday. Consider yourself lucky that your grade just dropped a little bit. Best wishes to you.

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Specializes in Infusion.

Really crummy things happen in the midst of getting an education and trying to do your best in school. I've had class mates go through serious illnesses, death of an adult child, and parents and they have to make a decision to take a term or a year off or come back to class and most likely get a lower grade. I have never seen an instructor drop any standards because of a hardship. This is your decision to make. I'm very sorry you lost your friend. That has to be extremely difficult. If you decide to continue on with the class, just do your absolute best and move forward. Otherwise, maybe you need to take some time off to heal.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how devastating this must be for you.

Unfortunately, college profs get so many bogus excuses for unfinished work or assignments they become jagged to all excuses. This is really unfair for students, like you, who legitimately have something keeping them from getting their work done.

This is sooo true, sadly. And the reality is, with grading haivng little subjectivity, it is very hard to justify what is an acceptable circumstance and what is bogus. The other problem is, many students are not discreet enough to keep their business to themselves. Not that I would suggest you not sharing your loss with your peers, but discussing the circumstances for making up the work, or having extensions on assigments, excused absences, etc. I once had a student in clinical ask me if she could take a second absence (only one was permitted) in front of half the group (she wasn't feeling well). If I said "yes to her, what do you think would have happened for the rest of the semester? I hate that it has to be like that, but it does, because people do abuse and take advantage.

Since the response from your professor was unfavorable, and your grade did not suffer tremendously, I would just let it go. If you continue to press the issue, it may not be good for you, as far as your emotions. Concentrate on your healing and closure, and getting through this semester. If you don't do as well this semester, you have a valid, legitimate reason, that no one is going to judge you for.

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I left town when my father died. All of my instructors except one were understanding when I returned and allowed me to make up work or exams. The instructor who gave me an F on the midterm, giving me an F in the class and causing me to get kicked out of the nursing program was the head of the nursing department. When I went to his office, he threw me out of the office, after berating me within earshot of the office staff who could hear everything through the open door. It took more than a week to get him to change his mind about the situation. I simply think he realized that had I complained to the school, I had a valid excuse and he probably would have been overridden in his decision. What did I learn? At all times, especially in times of disarray, stress, and shock, one must watch their interests or have someone watch their interests for them. Never leave your belongings anywhere. Meld your backpack to your back if you have to. You can't depend on instructors to be good natured, even when circumstances call for leniency.

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