Charting Bloopers

[AHarri66]

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill:

Quote

"Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations."

[tencat]

"7 fecalettes" LOL! What a name for a singing group

[mr_nurse_drew, ADN, BSN, RN]

jkh said:

A visiting psychiatrist from India was at rounds one morning when he wrote the following in the patient's note,

"He is clearly psychotic this morning. He states he has a frog in his throat."

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!! That's so funny!

[Streamline2010]

Terre said:

A new intern to our CCU once charted attempts to cardiovert a patient in the following manner:

Attempted to convert the patient with 200 jews, unsuccessful. Second attempt to convert the patient with 300 jews unsuccessful. Patient finally converted on the third attempt with 300 jews.

The mental picture of three hundred rabbis surrounding a patient's bed yelling, "Convert, convert!" was too much. We nicknamed him "Call a Code or Call a Rabbi" from that day forward.

I know that's an old post, but ROTFL! 

Ditto for

Quote

Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations

Old factory hallucinations : Oh, they are the WORST! All that incessant clanking, and molten metal flows like lava, and dust, and rust, and noxious sulfur vapors, and rain pouring through the holes in the roof, and klaxxons going off, and it's infernally hot in the Summer but you have to wear two coats in the Winter and... I just KNOW that's what I'm going to have, whenever I finally start losing my mind! Seriously, you'd never want to have old factory hallucinations. Working in an actual old factory for wages is bad enough. 

[blonde1]

here's another for you all- we have an MD that comes in and when he's having a bad day and is mad writes orders like: tell administration to thin chart. or even better: find her ted stockings.

nicely put, but couldn't you ask us instead of writing such weird orders

[BSNBritt]

This was a typo, and was meant to be "Past"

"Pt. reports pasty abuse"

[Elsie_kev]

We still kid with the doc that wrote the order "d/c hallucinations" The pharmacy called to tell us it was not on their formulary.

[dsoginer]

Had to add this one. Working in Well-baby, two residents were writing furiously in a chart and had checked a baby's diaper several times. They finally waved me over and said, "I don't want to alarm you but there is blood in this baby's diaper..." it was all I could do but laugh. In fact it took a minute or so to compose myself to explain uric acid crystals. I left them trying to figure out how to dispose of the charting they had just completed.

[nursetilly]

This was found in a History & Physical for a surgical patient. It was supposed to say: "Pt has had colitis three times for which she was hospitalized." But the transcription left the "L" out of "colitis". The pt did have three children, so it could be true.

[nursetilly]

NuteRN said:

Like many of these, this is not exactly a charting blooper...

My wife and I were in a car accident. We both felt a little sore, so we went to the ED, just to be safe. I got a little confused when they took my wife in for an x-ray, but never did one on me. They car was hit on her side, do I just left it at that and didn't think much about it. Then, when we were d/c'd, we saw that they gave her information about spinal injuries. It didn't make sense. And then it hit me. When they asked about past medical history, she told them that she had a cirvical cerclage (an OB procedure). They heard cirvical and assumed cervical spine. Impressive that they know thier body parts. 

I sent a specimen to pathology from surgery "portion of ileum"--the technician called me and told me I had spelled it wrong: it is "ilium." I told him "I-l-I-u-m is bone." He said, "Yes, I know." I then said "well, look at the specimen: it's part of the small intestine." He was adament and told me he was going to report me for not knowing my anatomy. I said, go ahead. I never heard anything about it, but never ran into that technician again.

[nursetilly]

anonymous1919 said:

in 2002, female paraurethral glands, or skene's glands, were officially renamed the female prostate by the federative international committee on anatomical terminology

sooo, what was the Dr who did the chole doing near her skene's glands? and what kind of symptoms was she having? on second thought, I don't want to know. 

[bigtoms501]

When was in nursing school I was misspelling assess with one less s i was asked buy my instructor what i was doing with my patients a.ses i was teased for months over that lol

[Wendy RN]

One very tired night nurse once charted on a male patient,

Patient refused nicotine patch, stated "I do not use that form of birth control".

I always wondered where you would stick it to prevent pregnancy....LOL