Wendy RN

One very tired night nurse once charted on a male patient, Patient refused nicotine patch, stated "I do not use that form of birth control". I always wondered where you would stick it to prevent pregnancy....LOL

MY patients have taught me to...... Never use a toothbrush to "scratch an itch in my butt hole" because it can, and will, magically disappear up the chute. Never try pet wild kittens that live in the barn, even if they look tiny and sweet, because they can, and will, bite and scratch you and you can get nec fasc from it!! Never use you cell phone in the shower, as you may "drop it" and when you bend down to pick it up you will "slip and fall onto the phone" and it will magically disappear up the chute. (A common theme in accidents). My favorite one is.... Never let your wife use a vibrator on you, after she just found out about your girlfriend. It may get turned onto high and.....did you guess yet......it will magically disappear up your chute!!!!