changing last name on RN license after marriage

[MiaNJ]

Just wondering if any of you were hesitant or felt sad changing your last name when you got married. I mean, in terms of giving up the name you used while earning your hard earned nursing degree, and the name that was on your RN license, if you got it before marriage.

It's not so much that I hate the idea of having a husband's last name, but more about feeling proud to have my dad'a last name, who gave me lots of love/support/encouragement while growing up, and always pushed me toward school and success.

I feel proud to have earned my nursing degree while I was still 'me' or using the last name I always have had, since childhood. I know I will still be myself even if change my name, but I kind of feel weird/sad changing my name on my college degrees, RN license, etc.

I have discussed this with my fiance and he was kind of shocked at first that I wasn't sure if I wanted to take his last name, but he's still understanding. I think he feels somewhat disappointed since he has traditional values. So I thought maybe I could hypenate our last names.

But does this mean that all my college diplomas including past ones (prior to nursing school since this is my 2nd degree) have to be changed? It's alot of paperwork and also I just feel sad changing those, since I earned them even before I met him.

Has anyone else felt this way or should I just get over it, since it's only a name? I feel attached to mine though since I've had it so long.

[loricatus]

I did not totally give up my maiden name for many of the reasons you mention. I kept my drivers license and started using the married name for non-legal things. Once my Dad died (it was many years before I got my degree), I went totally back to my maiden name-it happens to be unique because it was a shortened ethnic name that has a history in its origin.

[before I was born] Nobody could pronounce my Dad's very long last name, so they called him by the shortened version of it, rather than by his first name. Just before I was born, he filed to have the name legally changed to what he was being called because he did not want his first child to be stuck with the embarrasment of the constant mispronunciations.

Thanks for bringing up this topic. It brought to mind many happy memories of my father. I guess I use the maiden name to try and keep that closeness with him.

Do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable. Maybe a hyphenated last name may work for you. This way you wouldn't have to change your diploma and license and you can still use the married name for other things. It wasn't an option for me because my legal first name is already hyphenated.

[Cymy]

You're still YOU, even if you change your name... or if you don't. You don't need to change the names on your diplomas, you just need to specify the names they were earned under when applying for jobs if that job requires you to do so. I'm not even sure how you would go about changing the name on a diploma, I wouldn't think most schools would re-issue one, though they would probably record your new name in a record somewhere if you asked them to do so.

If you don't want to change your name or aren't sure if you want to do so right now, you don't have to--you can change your name any time (and for any reason) you want.

Personally, I chose to keep my maiden name for several reasons, although the one I cite most frequently is, "It took me 23 years to get used to people calling me XYZ and PQRST (stupid variations on my last name), I'm not going to spend the next 23 listening to people calling me Reebok and Ribbit (actual things my husband's last name has been contorted into--poor guy hates his entire name).

That was 8 years ago, now I consider, every once in a while, changing my name anyway. Primarily because people get confused about my name and my youngest son's name being different (my older kids, adopted, have my husband's name too, but somehow that never bothered me as much). I've gotten used to answering to "Mrs. Ribbit" and when people ask for "Mrs. Reebok" on the phone I just say, "Speaking," rather than try to correct at least their butchered pronunciation as I used to.

Also, you are well within your rights, both ethically and legally, to maintain two separate names--one for professional use and one for social use. Many female doctors who were unmarried at the time they graduated med school do this--they call themselves Dr. MaidenName when working but go by Mrs. MarriedName when functioning in a social setting, especially when dealing with their kids' schools and activities. As long as you are not doing it with the intent to deceive anyone and use the same social security number with both names, it doesn't make a difference to anyone who matters. Your credit report will always carry your maiden name as an "AKA" anyway. Mine carries my husband's last name as an AKA even though I've never used it on paper anywhere... unless the birthday cards that arrive from my in-laws count... I don't think they have any idea that I didn't change my name... or maybe they just conveniently ignore it.

Good luck with your decision and remember that a name is never permanent if you don't want it to be!

[JBudd, MSN]

I changed my driver's and nursing license to my husband's name, as well as with social security. Was no problem at all. His was much shorter and a whole lot easier to sign, if not pronounce :lol2:

Now that he's gone, I'm really glad to have his name still. I still feel "committed" to the family, my inlaws that is. :)

[navynurse06]

There is no way in the world I was changing my name, so I hypenated it. My name now is 14 letters long but I don't care!

I was a (insert last name) for 22 yrs; I didnt see the point in changing it when I got married. My husband was very understanding of this.

Also, my dad asked me a long time ago not to change my name b/c myself and my sisters are left to carry the name on. Furthermore, women were given men's last names in the early days b/c they where seen as property of thier husbands. When I found that out, that sealed the deal to hypenate. I'm certainly not anyones property (not that my husband thinks that way)!

It wasn't hard at all to change my name on my license; you just send in a copy of your marriage cert. and what your name is after marriage. Everything (except for my TN driver's license) has my hypenated name on it. I was very angry with the DMV in Tn when they said the could put my whole name on there; so they put my madien name as my middle name. So both names are on there its just not hypenated.

It also worked out better for me being in the Navy with hypenating my name; kind of less confusing.

However, I do get irrated when people don't say my whole last name. Most of the time I get called either my maidien name or my husband's name. Its not that hard to say...our names are that unusal. THey are just put together now. Show me and my husband the respect and say the whole thing!

But any how...I'll step down from my soap box on this matter.

Good luck with your engagement and marriage...and whatever you do about your last name!

[Quickbeam, BSN, RN]

I kept my name. Married 20 years. No regrets.

For me, as an orphan, it was a way to keep my heritage and my parents alive. I love my husband but I'm completely not Polish!

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

married before graduated as lpn + later rn. rn license has maiden name as middle, required in those days. after 30 years marriage, moot point. everyone calls me nurse karen so that name carefully thought of by parents still alive n well. your identity is what you make of it.

...... and better keep the name clean as ds been told by dh. :)

p.s.: forget the curlers in my avatar...jettisoned them 20 yrs ago...warm robe and tea mug not giving up.

[crackerjack]

I was married then divorced when I got my RN license. I kept my married name after the divorce for my children's sake. However, because the maiden name is always kept as an alias and is a legal identifier even though not your legal last name, I chose to apply for my license as first name, maiden name, last name without a hyphen because my legal last name is not a hyphenated name. I did this because I had just lost my dad and he was so proud of me for going after my nursing degree that I wanted to do this as a way of having him there with me through the rest of my life and as a reminder of his support. It may sound silly to some but it really meant a lot to me. I think if you want to keep your maiden name on your license doing this or hypenating are both valid options for whatever reason you choose to do so.

[swatch007]

As a man, I think a woman should have an option to choose if she wants to use her husband's last name or not.Otherwise, women are no different than those cows in a farm whose the owner imposes to have them marked as his property.Thru a heated circle iron, the owner's chosen distinctive initial will be tag on the sides of these cows.

Think about it; when a woman gets married she will be marked by her husband's last name,for example, Mrs. Jones. On the otherhand, a man stays "Mr". no matter if he is single or married. Sort of like, no matter how much hard work a woman does at work, she still feels obligated to do some chores when she gets home. People consider it normal. When a man works hard and just watches TV when he gets home instead of helping with the chores, most people would think that there is nothing wrong with that-- I ain't so guilty of this kind of crime though;-)

Marriage is a contract, whether it will be for a lifetime or otherwise. It should be sustained by consideration, compromises and mutual agreement of both parties involved. Bride should not be considered a newly aquired property of a man. She should be considered a patner with an equal needs for respect and consideration for her dignity. A man is not less of man if he does not follow this great social taboo of imposing his bride to carry his last name as a tag of his property. A woman is still legally considered married anyway even if she chooses not to use her husband's last name, so what's the fuss ? Could it be the fragile ego of a man? or just a plain inconsideration for the woman's feelings?

I wonder how the world would be like if this almost universal taboo were reversed: Instead, a man would have to change his last name to carry his wife's last name. There would probably be a massive protests in this country and maybe all over the world to free men from this form of oppression, almost like a civil right movement.

I'm sure I would also be there participating in this protest .

What do you think fellows??

[TazziRN, RN]

I'm old fashioned. My original license has my maiden name, but when I married I was very proud to become "Mrs. Tazzi Oldfahsioned, RN." It was a pain to notify all those who needed to know, but it was worth it. And it's not the name, Hubs has an extremely common last name. It's the idea.

I do not think there is anything wrong with keeping one's maiden name after marriage, or hyphenating, it's a person choice. And don't get me wrong, I love my father with all my heart, but I'm old fashioned.

[MB37]

My last name is hard to spell and pronounce, so I switched to my husband's very easy one. I just figured it would make life easier, and it really had no emotional significance for me. A couple I am friends with came up with an interesting solution to passing on last names - they both kept their original last names after marriage, with no hyphenation, and they have cheerfully agreed that when they have kids, the girls will take her last name and the boys his. She is the last of her name, so she thinks that would be a cool tradition to start!

[SICU Queen]

Hahahahaha... this is so funny because my oldest daughter and I were talking about my bad rep with the state board for name changes, lol...

I was married, but separated, when I graduated. Then I divorced and went back to my maiden name. Then I remarried a man whose last name was that of his stepfather. Then he decided to revert to his natural father's name. Then we divorced. Then I went back to my maiden name. Then I remarried my first husband.

So, to the LA BON I've been (using fake names as illustration of course):

Price (first husband's last name)

Carson (maiden name)

Woodruff (second husband's adopted name)

Allen (second husband's "real" last name)

Carson (maiden name again)

Price (first/third husband's last name)

Even I'm confused!!! LOL...

Seriously though... it's never bothered me to take the name of the man I married. It doesn't change ME at all. I'm still, and always will be, KIM.