Caring nurse turned Raging *****

JB2007, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2010

I think I developed more of a backbone. However, if you ask my family I had plenty of that before becoming a nurse. Somedays I can be a not so nice a person, but I think that has more to do with the work environment that I am currently forced to put up with (very toxic and hateful).

As one of the OP stated I think nursing has enhanced what was already there for me. If you cross me one too many times I can be a *****. Believe me everyone feels the need to cross me. I have to look in the mirror all of the time to make sure that nobody wrote welcome on my forehead because a lot of people mistake me for a doormat.

Oh yea I am very blunt and to the point about most things too. I was not always that way before becoming a nurse.

Zookeeper3 · Apr 5, 2010

I'm sneaking this in because we can't give health advice.. the first two years you are sick... get a good doc that will test you TSH, vitamin D and go tanning while covering your face.

Stress homones alone... and we neglect those.. take melitonin to help you sleep. tylenol with benadryl to help you sleep.

Take a multivitamin and add a b complex to it for energy.

This is what I've done and it helps volumes... our neurologist concurs and would like to add more vitamins... try this first, see the good effects and post again... my neuro guy is the bomb

dcampbell · Apr 5, 2010

What good advice.

How can you find a "good doctor" to get your tyroid checked?

At the practice I go to I can't even get to see the doctor. They will only let you see PA's unless you are dying. The PA's, God bless them, seem unwilling/unable to do or order anything. And I know how much practitioners love it when you ask for a test or suggest that you might have something that needs to be checked out.

Before anyone says to change practices, you then become a "doc hopper". Even with good insurance it is hard to find someone to take new patients. Not asking for oxy, just want some blood work done. Please? Even a familily history of low tyroid gets you nowhere. sigh....

Sugarcoma, RN · Apr 5, 2010

YES!!! Nursing has changed my personality and turned me into a grumpy raging B! My friends, husband, and children have noticed the difference. Most of it comes from working in an EXTREMELY toxic short staffed crazy unit that has only managed to retain their last "batch" of new grads due to the economy. I was told the average length of employment on my unit in the past was 3 months.

I am now on anti-depressants and valium for anxiety. I also enjoy wine and muscle relaxers but I prefer white wine with mine!! I also sleep constantly on my days off because it is EXHAUSTING fighting with doctors, bed desk, staffing, coworkers, and the crazy a** patients who think I am only there to ensure they receive their D&B cocktail with flush the MINUTE they are due. I have to work because my husband is unemployed so I am stuck for now.

The only things keeping me sane are an EXTREMELY supportive spouse who has basically taken over ALL the day to day of kids, house, cooking, cleaning etc. He listens to my griping even though he doesn't completely understand what i'm griping about. And a fellow coworker who is suffering through this hell with me! If I did not have them I would have climbed up a clock tower long ago. Hubby has begged me to quit but again he is unemployed and my children enjoy little things like food and hot water.

Some things I do to try to cope: Spend the time I am awake at home looking for a job and sending out resumes.....some day someone is gonna call!

Dream of the day someone else calls! LOL

Reheorifice what I will say at my EXIT interview!!!!

I have also invested in a boxing bag!!! I only need to find a way to secretly take pics of the residents, bed desk coordinator, and staffing employees so I can attach them to said boxing bag!!!

cherrybreeze, ADN, RN · Apr 5, 2010

I'm sneaking this in because we can't give health advice.. the first two years you are sick... get a good doc that will test you TSH, vitamin D and go tanning while covering your face.
Stress homones alone... and we neglect those.. take melitonin to help you sleep. tylenol with benadryl to help you sleep.
Take a multivitamin and add a b complex to it for energy.
This is what I've done and it helps volumes... our neurologist concurs and would like to add more vitamins... try this first, see the good effects and post again... my neuro guy is the bomb

Hope no one gets mad at me for this, but I have to comment....there are a lot of things you can do for stress relief, but please don't take up tanning. The risks involved are too great, as everyone knows, and there is no "safe" way to tan. Taking a good Vitamin D supplement will do the same thing, and it's actually safe. I have never been a "tanner," but have had several suspicous and one actually cancerous mole removed over the years, and worked with a nurse who was a diehard tanning bed devotee. In her early 20's, she had a malignant melanoma and several lymph nodes removed from her thigh and groin. It's just not worth it, and covering your face does nothing except prevent the wrinkles....if you get skin cancer, you may never get old enough to WORRY about the wrinkles.

There are more and more studies showing that Vitamin D deficiency (sp?) is quite widespread, especially since the push to wear sunblock (which of course, everyone should be doing). A sunblock with an SPF of 15 blocks 100% of the production of vitamin D from natural sunlight. Vit D deficiency can cause depression, mood disturbances, obesity, insulin resistance, joint and back pain, and is associated with several medical conditions including cancers and autoimmune disorders such as RA and lupus. The big kicker is the mood problems, depression, sleep disturbances, etc. The vitamin D in a regular multivitamin is not actually enough to raise deficient levels; the recommended amount is 1000-2000 IU's when serum levels are not actually tested (the body can safely metabolize several times that, so "overdosing" would be a very rare possibility, indeed). The type you take is important; supplements are available in either "D2" or "D3", and D3 is much more bioavailable and effective.

OK, stepping off my soapbox. I got a bit off the topic, although I WOULD suggest, OP, to give it a try. It's a safe, inexpensive, easy thing to do, and might just help! I just started on a 2000 IU daily D3 supplement with the support of my doctor, and am hoping it helps with the longstanding/worsening issues I've had lately with depression and anxiety. Once I did some research on it, it made so much sense, I wish I had found out about it a long time ago!

Best of luck to you, OP. I hope you can find a way to strike a happy, satisfying balance between your work and home life. It can be very hard to do in nursing, especially with the current climate.

Blackheartednurse · Apr 5, 2010

Hope no one gets mad at me for this, but I have to comment....there are a lot of things you can do for stress relief, but please don't take up tanning. The risks involved are too great, as everyone knows, and there is no "safe" way to tan. Taking a good Vitamin D supplement will do the same thing, and it's actually safe. I have never been a "tanner," but have had several suspicous and one actually cancerous mole removed over the years, and worked with a nurse who was a diehard tanning bed devotee. In her early 20's, she had a malignant melanoma and several lymph nodes removed from her thigh and groin. It's just not worth it, and covering your face does nothing except prevent the wrinkles....if you get skin cancer, you may never get old enough to WORRY about the wrinkles.
There are more and more studies showing that Vitamin D deficiency (sp?) is quite widespread, especially since the push to wear sunblock (which of course, everyone should be doing). A sunblock with an SPF of 15 blocks 100% of the production of vitamin D from natural sunlight. Vit D deficiency can cause depression, mood disturbances, obesity, insulin resistance, joint and back pain, and is associated with several medical conditions including cancers and autoimmune disorders such as RA and lupus. The big kicker is the mood problems, depression, sleep disturbances, etc. The vitamin D in a regular multivitamin is not actually enough to raise deficient levels; the recommended amount is 1000-2000 IU's when serum levels are not actually tested (the body can safely metabolize several times that, so "overdosing" would be a very rare possibility, indeed). The type you take is important; supplements are available in either "D2" or "D3", and D3 is much more bioavailable and effective.
OK, stepping off my soapbox. I got a bit off the topic, although I WOULD suggest, OP, to give it a try. It's a safe, inexpensive, easy thing to do, and might just help! I just started on a 2000 IU daily D3 supplement with the support of my doctor, and am hoping it helps with the longstanding/worsening issues I've had lately with depression and anxiety. Once I did some research on it, it made so much sense, I wish I had found out about it a long time ago!
Best of luck to you, OP. I hope you can find a way to strike a happy, satisfying balance between your work and home life. It can be very hard to do in nursing, especially with the current climate.

Very true,good friend of my damaged her eyes so bad by going to tanning saloons that she barely can see anything,and she had a very good sight before and no one in her family ever wore glassess.

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2010

I cut down to part time! :) I only work on the weekends when it's not so crazy and it's a completely different environment. I feel great! Now I'm thinking about some type of clinic work or to work in a senior day center. I've been in a senior day center visiting and it was wonderful. No stress there!

Good luck finding your niche! I hope you can get out of that stress mode soon :redbeathe

ItsTheDude · Apr 5, 2010

nursing doesn't change ppl, the job they have may do it due to the hours, stress, co-workers, etc.

hmm, 12 hr shifts just aren't for some ppl and i sure as heck wouldn't pick up another 12 hr shift, you said you work 4 a week at times, ouch.

there are many nursing jobs out there, you just have to find the ones that are right for you.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 5, 2010

i have been a floor nurse for 6 months. in that time, i have developed back spasms, high blood pressure, chest pains, dry hair, splotchy skin, extra weight, bitten fingernails and an absolutely raving ****** side that comes out at work and at home.
i know i need to care for myself first if i am going to care for others. . .but i work 3-4 12 hour shifts (which are never 12 hours - always at least 14) and on my days off, all i can do is sleep.
(i am chewing on my fingernail right now while washing down a muscle relaxer with a glass of red wine)
why is this job so impossible?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!!??!!?!?
i need to rant and i am actually too tired to rant.
did nursing change your personalities?

nursing didn't change my personality, but stress does. everyone has their raging (bad word for female dog) moments, and stress only exacerbates any tendencies you might have in that direction. sounds as if you are stressed. this job is not impossible, only improbable. ranting is good. i don't think i've ever been too tired for a good rant although i have, on rare occaision, been too stressed to eat. (not on enough occaisions, obviously.)

the first year of nursing is the most difficult, and i don't know anyway to make that appreciably easier. you just have to push on through to the other side. as for your physical symptoms -- sounds like i felt when my thyroid first went whacko. unless you're exaggerating a bit (and we're all given to that upon occaision) it might be a good idea to have your thyroid checked.

as far as the muscle relaxers and red wine -- i hope you're treating a back spasm with the muscle relaxers and not trying to medicate yourself into oblivion. ranting, posting on allnurses.com, journalling and walking are all better treatments for the stress of trying to do an extrememly difficult job with inadequate supplies, staffing and support. (and there have been times when i've walked 11 miles after a 12 hour shift to calm myself down sufficiently to be able to sleep. the dogs loved it, but my feet sure didn't!)

Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2010

Wow - seems like a TIME OUT might be a good move. (I've had several and they saved me at times!)

1. You have to practice self care and get healthy.

2. Healthy stress control (exercise, venting, sleep, Vit D and MVI and good food).

3. Find a speciality that makes your heart sing.

The 1st year is tough. It will get better - but, it takes you doing your part for your part.

Good Luck.

:angel: