CAN'T work weekends and holidays anymore!

Nurses Stress 101

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Specializes in medicine, oncology, telemetry.

Hi fellow allnurses!

I have been stalking these forums for awhile and I desperately need some emotional support.

I work at an awfully busy, hectic, chaotic medical floor. What makes my floor suck even more is that our managers require us to work every OTHER weekend, when all the other floors in the hospital work every third. I also have to rotate days/nights. I work three 12 hour shifts, but with every other weekend, I have like 4 days off during the week and I am so ridiculously bored and lonely. I do things to keep me busy, but no one else is around for company!

I am 24, have an active social life with friends, family, and my boyfriend. All I do is miss out on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, life events, weddings, because of my job. I am DESPERATE at this point to find a M-F 8-5 position because I am desperate for a normal life.

Nothing irks me more than when people say "you chose to make sacrifices when you decided to be a nurse". My response is my life is too short to be spending all my weekends, holidays, and nights on a floor that I hate. I am afraid I'll miss "bedside" but my passions lie in primary care anyways. I am afraid of losing skills, but at this point I don't have any work-life balance and would do anything for a normal job! I sought out therapy for this.

Who can offer some support?

Greatly appreciated!

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

There are M-F jobs out there....for the most part I have worked every other weekend for 35 years. I have done probably more than my fair share of holidays. I knew that when I decided I loved bedside that was going to be the requirement. I am from a family of nurses and doctors so everyone understands. I have been a nurse since I was 18 and had a full social life, a marriage, and beautiful children one about to start college and one in his senior year. You just find a way to make it work if that is what you want. If not then there are so many other things you can do.

It sounds like you are unhappy with your floor...maybe seek another position.

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Specializes in Pediatric Hematology/Oncology.

Yeah, it just sounds like the floor is whack. Sometimes, when you work with other people who are going through the same thing as you with the same supportive mindset, it doesn't matter that you're missing things because they're missing them too (my former life was in retail and the team I worked with for 24-hour Black Friday shifts made it not suck as much as it could have if we were at each others' throats or didn't care about one another -- genuine teamwork really makes a dent in dealing with the stress).

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Specializes in ER.

Try looking at the infusion centers. If I had accepted the job I wanted to accept, it was 8-5 with one 4 hour block a month on Saturday and 1 holiday a year. I think it was 3 days a month it was 10-7

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Believe me the other floors that do every third are not always great. The grass sadly is not always greener on the other side. #upennproblems

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Specializes in ER.

Yeah every third weekend isn't much better. Most of my friends are still in retail with a handful only now are getting the 9-5 jobs. Most of the time, we do stuff late at night during the weekdays because everyone works weekends in retail.

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I would much rather work the weekends ONLY.

"I've saved some sunlight if you should ever need a place away from darkness where your mind can feed." - Rod McKuen

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Specializes in ER.

Some hospitals offer weekend options but that is rarer. I think an older benefit was some places would work them 24 and usually it was Monday/Sunday or Saturday/Friday and they get paid for a full 36. The facility stopped that though

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

It's not that you CAN'T work weekends anymore; you just don't want to. On the one hand you say you have an active social life; on the other you say you're bored and lonely. Which is it?

If you're bored, you need to get hobbies, and if you're lonely you need to make friends. There are plenty of hospital nurses in the same boat, working weekends and holidays. I'm sure they'd love to get to gether for a "Labor Day" barbecue on Tuesday. If you don't want to work in a hospital, don't. But don't say you want to work in a hospital at the bedside and you can't work weekends or holidays. (I suppose you don't want to work nights, either?) You have to choose: work in the hospital, and work the hours required or don't work in the hospital.

As for weddings, important life events and anniversaries -- how many of them do you HAVE to attend? Most nurses are adept at trading for the shifts they need off. My sister's wedding, I'll find a trade. My cousin's, I might not -- depending upon how much I like the cousin and whether or not I can tolerate that branch of the extended family.

They're nothing sacred about celebrating Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of the month. Your family can have your celebration any day you can be there. Santa Claus can come visit your neices and nephews twice, and "Christmas dinner" is any time the entire family can get together. If you're single, perhaps you want to volunteer to work Christmas so you can have NYE off. Or not. It's up to you. If you miss birthdays, you can have your own special celebration with the birthday boy or girl when you're off. Suprise Dad at work and take him to lunch the day BEFORE his birthday. Take Mom the the museum the day AFTER hers. If you want to stay involved with family and celebrate special days, you'll find a way. The question is this: Is it about celebrating special days with special people? Or do you just hate your job and want to quit?

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Specializes in critical care.

Is this your first real job? I promise you - 9-5 on 5 days a week is a far greater time suck than 12s 3 days a week.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Is this your first real job? I promise you - 9-5 on 5 days a week is a far greater time suck than 12s 3 days a week.

THIS.

Organize WHAT exactly do you want to do on your days off.

I assure you, I have plenty of time to do MORE with my personal life than I did working five days a week with weekends off; if I had to handle business that is open 8-5 on weekdays, I couldn't get anything done without a day off. :no:

My life has been much better; I have days off to do yoga, catch lunch with friends and family, shop without all the rush in stores and get papered without a line.

If you want a balance on personal time, you have time to make it; you will be able to if you want to.

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Specializes in medicine, oncology, telemetry.

That was harsh.

To answer your question, I HATE my job to begin with, I think I hate bedside nursing, but I'm just afraid I'll lose all of my skills if I go elsewhere.

This is my first job as a professional RN, but I was a nurse extern full time at 3 different hospitals during college. So I've done the every-other weekend, nights, holidays for 4 years now and I'm sick of it.

I love working 3 12's but I did have a M-F job in the past. Aside from always praying for Friday, I enjoyed it for the most part because I had a life.

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