Can't get the loss of one pt out of my head!

Published

It was about this time of the year in 1990. I was working 3-11 in a major metropolitan ER. The police dept. paramedic unit brought two motorcycle accident victims in. Most serious was a 21 yr female with massive internal injuries. The driver was DUI, picked the girl up in a campus bar. He lost control of the bike and the girl slid striking the edge of the road curb posteriorly. I had put 6 units of pack cells and 1 unit of cryo into her, as she began to DIC. DIC is an amazeing situation to watch in a concious pt. At one point the girl looked straight into my eyes, she didn't call me RN,nusre or Doctor. She said," Rick, am I gonna die?" I said," No." she smiled and closed her eyes. She didn't ask this of anyother staff member working with her, not even the doctor. Then the OR team arrived and took her to the OR. The OR nurse I knew called me 30 minutes later and told me the girl coded as they were moving her onto the OR table. They couldn't get her back. My question is , I knew the girl wasn't going to make it. How valid should you be with a pt. concerning their situation. I consider myself a religious man, should I have given her time to make piece with the lord, if need be. Even the doctor, who I went hunting with, didn't have an answer.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Wound Care, Infection Contro.

There are no right answers in this case. You told her what you and she both wanted/needed to hear. This gave her the ability to be calm at a critical time. That can also give someone the wherewithall to fight. I know it is hard to get some things out of your head and telling you to is futile but each time you think about it you have to think of all the good things you have done and know that you did what you had to do.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Gosh - what a memory for you to carry all these years. Please don't worry about it. I think that what we say in a bonafide life-threatening situation is what we are SUPOSED to say. You gave that girl hope when she needed it. She was blessed to have you there.

Sometimes all we can do is offer hope in the face of tragedy. You did everything right...rest easy!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Thank you for sharing this I hope you can find peace with your decision. I think it is exactly what I would have done and also what I would hope someone would do for me at such a time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I believe you said the right words, I would have said as much....

we always hope and wish for the best...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I believe in being as honest as the pt can handle at the moment, and at that moment she would not have been able to handle the truth. You did just fine. You let her leave with some peace in her heart, rather than in total abject fear. Nurses in Korea and Vietnam, and I dare say in the desert now, did/do that, and it is the kindest thing to do. Please let it go. You did good.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Triage, MedSurg, MomBaby, Peds, HH.

Rick,

Since you said you are religious, may I be so bold as to suggest God was in control that night. He put you in that young girl's final hour for a purpose, and I believe you fulfilled it. You weren't responsible for her own relationship with Him -- only to provide her with the very best care and comfort. Which it sounds as if you gave her abundantly.

It's Christmas day...what a perfect opportunity to forgive yourself for anything you felt you left undone with her. If there were a "hugs" smilie, I would insert it here...

Warmest regards,

Michelle

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

Durin a routine heart cath,the arota was punctured. The room went crazy and I found myself holding the patients hand. He looked directly in my eyes and asked me the same thing, am I going to die?

In my most reassuring voice I told him we are doing everything possible for him, and he is talking to me about it. The whole time I was shaking in my shoes. We stabilized him and off to surgery he went.

After shift I was compelled to see this patient. He was out of it, but I sat on his bed and just kept talking and praying. He died 3 days later. I will never forget the look on his face as he asked me if he was going to die.

When he expired, I felt he never did die, he went to a better place and I held his hand through part of the journey. So did you. And bless you for that

Up Vote Up Vote ×

human nature dictates that we need time to psychologically prepare ourselves to die.

this young woman, did not have the time that is needed.

it was an emergent situation.

you offered her reassurance, and comfort.

trust me.

she made peace with the Lord.

more notable, the Lord made her peaceful.

as someone else stated, you were her Angel that noc.

let it go.

your pt is free.

you deserve the same.

leslie

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion