i cant do this anymore i totally regret becoming a rn!

Music in My Heart · Oct 4, 2009

Advice:

New shift...

New unit...

New employer...

New specialty...

New career...

Just don't keep doing what you're doing...

mamamerlee, LPN · Oct 4, 2009

Seek the employee assistance plan in your facility. Try to transfer to days. Ignore the quibbling as much as possible.

rn-jane · Oct 4, 2009

Oh erin. What can I say but send you a hug. I know exactly where you are coming from because you sound like me 12 years ago. Working on a major metropolitan cardiac sdu is tough especially in your first year, especially the first 6 months. I wanted to quit so many times, cried every day before going into work and just felt like I had no support and was scrutinized by everyone. The littlest mistakes I got terrorized about and frankly was ready to hang up the towel. I left... We moved to a rural area. The drive was over an hour.. that was my excuse to them.

I ended up working in a smaller community hospital with people that actually nurtured me and guess what I went back to my old facility around 5 years ago. All I can tell you is to either stick it out, things will get better once they respect you or find a position on a less stressful unit.

surferbettycrocker · Oct 4, 2009

take it one day at a time. if you can stick it out a year, do it. a change from night shift to days maybe a first step? it will not be any less stressful, but as a former night nurse newbie, i could handle the stress better when i was on a regular schedule. i wish i could have adjusted to nights mentally b/c its a nicer time to be on the unit. too many people on days--too many docs taking up space! . for me nights never got better or easier to deal with. for some they wouldn't work any other shift. dont be too hard on yourself either. your family is what matters MOST. nursing is very important work, however find a way to leave the stress at the hospital. cardiac is a particularly stressful area. i wish there were a mentoring system in place for new rn's. i find most hospitals dont have any formal program in place. some do. even an informal group of newbie rn's on your unit to vent to may help?

it will take time to adjust to the whole ball of wax-the responsibility, the work flow, the shift, the meds you name it. people told me 'oh in six months you will be FINE'--dont' believe the hype! it took me a lot longer than that to feel 'less anxious'. i am never comfortable. always vigilant. hope this ramble helps.

elkpark · Oct 5, 2009

What you're feeling is pretty typical for this point in your career. The first year of nursing practice, and making the transition from nursing student to practicing nurse, is notoriously stressful and difficult. It usually takes around a year to start to feel comfortable and competent. (People used to graduate from nursing school knowing this, expecting to be miserable through their first year, and not freaking out when that happened, but, apparently, no one tells nursing students this any more ...) You pretty much have to just hunker down, grit your teeth, and suffer through the first year, and you'll be okay after that. We've all been where you are now, and we've all survived.

In reponse to the advice that you switch jobs, I've often seen new grads switch jobs because they weren't as happy as they wanted to be where they were, only to find they were just as miserable, and the job was just as tough, in the new job. A lot of this is just a function of being a new grad. You're not going to be comfortable anywhere for a while. What helps, ultimately, is to get past the point of being a new grad, and if you change jobs a few times during the first year or so of your career, you're just postponing getting to the point where you do feel comfortable, because you pretty much start all over again each time you switch jobs. Also, switching jobs frequently early in your career makes you look like a bad bet to potential employers (a "job hopper"). Yes, switch to days if you get the chance, but I would strongly urge you to stay where you are for at least a full year, and then see what you want to do.

Hang in there, and things will get better. Best wishes!

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Oct 5, 2009

Wow, I had to double check and make sure this was not a thread I started 3 years ago. Same unit, same shift, same misery. I got out and went into school nursing. It was a challenging switch for a relatively new grad, but I could not be happier with my decision. I always loved critical care when I was in the student role, but once I was in the RN role, un-uh, not for me. Nights were also a nightmare for my body. I am a morning person and like to go to bed at 9pm. I was fighting my biological clock and it just did not work.

I agree with the other poster who said try to change your shift, your unit, or something! Don't give up on nursing yet, there are many avenues to explore. Your first year is the hardest, don't give up!

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Oct 5, 2009

i agree with the musical poster's response and i disagree with comments that you look bad to future employers if you do not stick out a miserable situation! there is something called quality-of-life and besides slavery ended over 100 years ago! therefore, new grads do not need to remain where they started out just-because. in fact, if your reason for leaving has to do with health, poor management, a desire/passion to work in a different environment, family/personal issues etc. these are all good reasons to leave without it looking bad on your future resume. btw, i took my own advise and recently left my prior employers and now work for a floor i desired (the ed) and with a group of supportive nurses at a different facility! first i tried to transfer and was twice denied.

now, i am having a blast learning, training, and being treated as a professional! i do not want to take up too much of this thread complaining about my former employers or my horrid work experience but here is a thread started by another nurse that is in a similar situation to yours with responses that may help you out: https://allnurses.com/first-year-after/how-long-should-423726.html.

hang in there. do not give up on nursing; give up on your current situation and get out! :twocents:

dusky1228 · Oct 6, 2009

Changing *anything* may be enough to help you feel better about your life and career. You may be suffering from burnout. Try changing shifts, units, or specialties. If you can't do it where you are, try looking for something in a different location. Maybe try home care or doctor's office, or school nursing or correctional nursing. You could even try agency.

Good luck to you!

erin01 · Oct 6, 2009

thanks everyone for your adv and suggestions! I love hearing that i am not the only one. I made it through a night with 6 patients and had a pretty good night. 6 is really high since its a tele floor, usually 4pts most 5!The nurse that was charge that night was awesome, helped me a lot. I just look at those girls who have been there less or a little more than a year and see how they handle themselves and I see how well they are doing. I just hope to be able to function as well. I believe part of the problem is everyone is new! But it also is good in that they remember what its like to be new, and are always willing to help. I Think I let one or two bad nights or experiences really get to me. I know this is a really tuff floor, but i took it hoping to get good training, and i think thats whats happening. I have a friend who worked there and now works l&D and said if you make it there u can make it anywhere! So as of right now i am gonna keep my head up and keep showing up! Also what i am finding confusing is somethings are just not cut and dry. One person does it one way another a different so its hard to find the right way. But i think i will just keep bothering my mangers for the right answers =)

Imafloat, BSN, RN · Oct 6, 2009

Erin,

It gets better. I could have written your post 3 years ago. I was working night shift at a level 3 NICU right out of school and I wanted to quit every day. I wished that I would get in a car wreck so that I wouldn't have to go into work. It was terrible. There was a lot of pettiness and my body couldn't do nights. I went to day shift after 6 months and I felt much better. I believe that I was clinically depressed when I was on nights. I was in the middle of it so I couldn't see it, once I went to days and looked back, I realized how different I was.

I wrote an article a couple of years ago about my first year of nursing, it's called full circle, my first year of nursing. Look in the article section under contest winners, sometime in 2008. People have told me that it should be required reading for all new grads.

I think you have a combination of a sleep/wake cycle that isn't working for you, a stressful job, a busy team, and you are in the beginning of your novice to expert continuum. I was miserable too, so I'm not telling you this lightly...but I vote that you stick it out if at all possible. I am almost to the point where I can't remember what I felt like that first year. I am still at the same job and I am completely comfortable. You are welcome to pm me if you would like to talk.

JanetCCURN · Oct 12, 2009

I don't feel like I regret being an RN, but I certainly don't want to ever reach that level. Im responding because of how you describe your feelings and what you are going through. Im a new grad, started off in CCU still in my original place of employment going on a little over a year now.

I can't say that waiting a year helped so far but the stress, I feel, is coming from the heavy demands of nursing. No two days are a like and no two people are in the same mood always. The culture of one's environment weighs about 70-80% of how you feel. You can have 1 night of pure chaos, but it's the people who you work with both days and nights that get you through. Personal conflicts, tension, demanding mgmt, etc can really throw your "A" game off.

Im noticing a pattern with me over that last year; factors including bully nurses, bully management, lack of professionalism, poor role models, stressed out senior nurses, short staff, no charge nurse, overcoming the learning curve, meeting everyone's expectation (including your own), lack of feedback, no support system, having family life stress, depression, guilt, lack of confidence, proving yourself, poor sleep/ diet, union's vs. mgmt, etc...-- There are sooooooooo many moments when I've felt like Yes! Im getting there then being stomped on by senior staff or managment. It's such an evil roller coaster of ups and downs. Right now, Im experiencing a down by a combination of those factors above and some.

Now Im using EAP services to get through this... Im learning that there are more things that just nursing that I need to learn and that is the world of professional working politics. That takes a whole new level of maturity and a whole new way of learning how to control your sensitivity level. Another word new to me is "Coping"...maybe we are not coping with our stressors very effectively. There's another level of learning that I thought I was good at and that is communication. I don't know where this will get me or where you are at right now, but...don't loose sight of why you became a nurse.

You have control of YOU. Everyone's time will come, but also keep in mind only you know your limits and when you've reached them.

I know I will have to find somewhere else to go, but I don't think that will change what the demands of nursing are or the type of patient's I will care for. Just gotta find the right fit. I don't plan on being where I am at any more than 6 months longer. But I now have the stress of thinking where Im going to go, taking what I've learned and becoming the new person again somewhere else, different mgmt demands and expectations...but all in all, Im hopeful and will keep searching for that right fit.

I love my patients and we have the privilege of caring for them like no one else can. RE-connect with your family, yourself, and your passion for what you do. Let me know what you decide to do. It would be nice to follow up. :specs: