Can I vent to you guys?

Published

Some background:

I'm working full time and going to school for nursing (still taking my pre-reqs and am finishing them up this summer). I'm applying to the LVN program in September but wont know if I'm accepted till January. Talk about nervewrecking.....but anyways, I have been going to college for a long time (10 years off and on to be exact). Life got in the way and kids were had so long story short it has taken me this long to finish up my pre-reqs.

My mother is my worst encourager.....she always tells me "When are you going to hurry and graduate? When are you going to become something? Blah Blah Blah" It really is hurtful! The other night I'm studying for my first exam in my AP2 class which is this thursday and I took a break to talk to my mom. She says "Oh did I tell you blank got into the nursing program?" I said "Oh really? Thats good" then she tells me "So when are you going to finally graduate from something? Or anything???"

I just walked away and went back to try and study but all I could do was cry. She just doesnt understand how hard it is to work full time, raise 3 small kids, go to school from 5:30-10:15 and come home and try to study and be in bed by a descent time so I'm not a complete zombie the next morning. When she says stuff like that I just feel like I'm never going to make it and I just want to quit. = (

If you made it this far, thanks for reading my novel........I just dont know how to keep her comments from effecting me so bad.

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Aw, I'm sorry!

I would say, "Well, Mom, if I'm accepted this January, I will be done at the end of next year and will graduate by Christmas. (or whatever the time frame is)" If she seems to want to know when, well, I would answer her question directly, and continue to do so if she insisted on continuing to ask even after I answered.

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I answer to myself and no one else.

The person looking back at you in the mirror is the one you have to answer to every day.

go to drwaynedyer.com- and check daily inspirations.

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I can totally understand. My mom is the same way. She can be very negative...That's why I was shocked when she was supportive of my going to school to be a nurse. We have some disagreements at first because she feels I should be a teacher (she taught for 30 years and just recently retired last yet). When I stood up to here, she backed down and now she is very supportive. Don't get me wrong...she still have her moments LOL! Your Mom cares about you and she wants what's best for you! Don't let it get to you! Continue to pursue your dreams and she will be proud of you in the end! Best of luck to you!

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"So when are you going to finally graduate from something? Or anything???" .

My parents drove me nuts with that. I finally wrote down my plan for graduation from nursing school and gave them a copy. I included that I would be graduating with an ADN and would take the NCLEX to be an RN. I started my prereqs in 2007 and will graduate from nursing school in 2011 so I gave them this document a long time ago.

I then refused to answer any more stupid questions like "It's going to take you HOW long?? THEN what will you be?? " blah blah blah. I just told them to "Look at the schedule I gave you."

I also warned to expect me not to be around much while I was in the program.

They just want to break your balls. Don't let them.

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Specializes in student; help!.

You're an adult. You have three kids, a job, an education you're working on, and she's treating you like a child. I'd set her straight right here and now and make it VERY CLEAR that the next time she starts in on you about graduating, you're going to have to hang up and you'll talk to her again when she can remember the rules. Her time to parent is over. Now she has to sit back, sit on her hands, and wait for you to ask for her advice. If that happens, she gets to say whatever she wants. Until then, though, she needs to sthu. Not to put too fine a point on it.

IMO, of course.

PS, I'm already practicing this with my kids.

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Aye, that is frustrating! I have the same kind of issues at times with my grandmother, because apparently my cousins are so perfect! I have my associate's degree in CJ and have been working towards my goals. It's great to have a support group, but sometimes you have to slap the negative support group the heck out of your way.

Best of luck to you, I've been working on it a while, too. We will get there!!

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My parents drove me nuts with that. I finally wrote down my plan for graduation from nursing school and gave them a copy. I included that I would be graduating with an ADN and would take the NCLEX to be an RN. I started my prereqs in 2007 and will graduate from nursing school in 2011 so I gave them this document a long time ago.

I then refused to answer any more stupid questions like "It's going to take you HOW long?? THEN what will you be?? " blah blah blah. I just told them to "Look at the schedule I gave you."

I also warned to expect me not to be around much while I was in the program.

They just want to break your balls. Don't let them.

I like this!:yeah:

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Specializes in none.

I'm in the same boat and sending you big hugs. When I told my parents a few weeks back that I was planning to apply for nursing school starting in Sept, my dad looked right at me and said, so what will you do with this degree? Nothing?

Sigh.

I told him anytime he wanted to raise my four children, deal with my husband (who has a mental illness and is on disability) or clean my house he could. I sorta get why they're mad because right now I run their business for them but I need to do something for me, too.

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Sounds like my dad. When I graduated from high school, I didn't qualify for financial aid because my parents made too much but they weren't willing to help me at all. So, I had to wait until I was 24 and could be declared an independent student in order to qualify for financial aid. So, that was 6 years after I graduated. Then, I went a year at a university before getting into a very bad relationship and getting pregnant with my daughter. So, I dropped out of school. When my daughter was 2, I had another baby. When my son was a few months old, I returned to the university with a different major, commuting 140 miles every day. So, that was 9 years after I graduated from high school. I was in a 4 year program to become an elementary school teacher and graduated in 2008. That's 13 years after I graduated from high school and through it all, I got nothing but constant ribbing from my dad and my brother about how long it took, how I had been going to school so long I should be a doctor, blah blah freakin blah.

I might also point out that neither my dad NOR my brother even finished high school. Maybe if someone had been willing to help me out when I graduated from high school it might not have taken so long.

NOW, I have had my bachelor's degree for 2 years and have had NO luck finding a teaching job. So, this August, I'm going to nursing school, which is what my dad always wanted anyway. But, I guess I'd better gear up to hear more flack about how I'm a "career student".

Doesn't matter that I haven't been in school constantly since I graduated high school...

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Specializes in Post Anesthesia.

Please remember, the person best able to provide you with encouragement is yourself! My father was always embarassed that his son was a nurse, mom died just after I graduated. My sibs were barely literate. If I wanted encouragement- I gave it myself. Also- your mother I'm sure loves you and just wants you to have an easier life than one you can provide for yourself and your children without your degree. I'm sure she can be frustrating, but don't give up on the good things in your relationship, now and in the future, just because she is impatient for you to achieve your goals. She may have the best of intentions but just dosen't know how to say it. Just love her anyway and tell her so as often as you can. A heart felt- "thanks for looking forward to my graduating- I can't wait to start my career as well !" may be in order. If there is any way to take what she says as positive- take it that way and move ahead. If it isn't even remotely positive-what does she know- it's your life, just love her more and keep giving yourself the pats on the back you need.

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