Can Addiction be "Cured"

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So, I am a recovering addict. I like to think of my addiction as "acute" "in remission" or dare I say it "cured".

I never tried a drug until I became a nurse. I didn't take them simply because they were accessible. I took them initially after a surgery for pain and then I took them because my body craved them so intensely that I would stoop to any level to get them.

I made my decision making "drug focused". Every action I took could be related to finding the drug, getting the drug and using the drug. I worked in the ICU and used 10 mg Morphine vials multiple times for post-op patients.

When a patient comes out of surgery it is really fast paced. The process of signing out and then wasting each unused drug took precious time away from patients. Why waste 8 mg's of MS when you will probably be giving an additional 2 mg's Q 10 mins for the 1st hour post-op anyway. So, you would give 2 mg's and put the vial in your pocket and pull it out each time you needed it until the patient was comfortable. Then you would chart the doses and waste what was left with another nurse.

One morning when I got home from work, I had forgotten to check my pockets. There it was. 6 mg's of MS. So, I set it aside and planned on taking it back on my next shift. But I had to put it someplace safe so no one would see it. What would they think.

It happened over and over again, intentionally, maybe, maybe not. Never used it, just put it in the drawer. I think I was afraid to use it cause what if I had a reaction? Or took too much and my kids found me on the floor unconscious?

One day, I put it in my hip. I felt like I was energized. I got so much done at home that day. After about a month of IM Demerol and Morphine, I had a patient on dilauded.

Took the excess drug home........along with an insulin syringe. I must have tried for 30 minutes to find a vein. I can find them blind-folded on my patients, but it is more difficult when your doing it upside down. After another month, I was shooting MS and demerol 4 or 5 times a day. But I did not believe I was an addict.

It all started with the Lortab after my tonsillectomy. I felt efficient, loving, attentive, smarter and focused when I took opiates. I didn't have to use every day. I was PRN so I would go a week without working and without using. I went on vacation for 2 weeks and didn't have any problems.

When I came back I worked 1 shift, took some dilauded and used it when I got off. I was called in the next day, I thought to work a shift, and was confronted by the DON, HR and several Admin nurses. I denied diverting but said I had partied while on vacation and would probably test + on the UDS.

Ignorant as I was, I gave them the urine and went home totally freaked out. I knew it would be positive and could not begin to imagine what would happen next. Looking back, I should have just quit and dealt with "suspicions" of diversion instead of giving them a dirty drug screen. But I didn't know I had a choice.

I broke down and told my husband that I was suspected, tested and probably terminated for using. But I didn't tell him what I used or that I was diverting. Told him it was Lortab, but I didn't have a current RX for it. So, when I was terminated and reported to TPAPN, I had to finally tell him what really happened. He reamed me up and down. Not supportive, did not recognize a "problem", just called me a junkie and was more concerned that I had potentially screwed my career. Our marriage is fine, believe it or not, and we only bring it up when we are really angry.

I have been sober since June 2 2006, the day after I got caught. Been through treatment, meetings and so on. I am working in LTC and have access to Lortab, MS tablets and Roxinal. Do I have cravings or feel compelled to take them? Nope. Did I learn my lesson? Yep.

But if you ask the professionals if I am "cured" they say there is "no cure". Once an addict, always an addict. But why? If I never did drugs until they were prescribed and have quit without issue and have proven my ability to be around the same drugs that I was addicted to?

Simply because I am the child of an alcoholic, the sister of an addict and the daughter of an undiagnosed and untreated mother with depression and bi-polar. Since I was molested as a child and my father died when I was 16. Since I slept around during high school so I could avoid the abuse at home. Since I dated men twice my age looking for a father figure until, Thank GOD, I met my husband and became a responsible adult and a mother.

Do all of these characteristic combined with the exposure to and subsequent physical addiction to Lortab define me as an addict for the rest of my life. Does that mean AA and NA meetings forever? Does that mean I can't drink at parties and dinner with friends because I might relapse and start using?

Someone please explain this to me. All addicts deny the addiction at some point in recovery, but don't people recover from the physical addiction and are strong enough to make the right choices when confronted with similar situations? HELP!! Thanks

you learn that you can't quit and live in recovery on your own.

How do you explain the fact that many people do indeed quit and live in recovery on their own?

Specializes in Med-Surg., Agency Nursing, LTC., MDS..
I haven't said AA doesn't work. In fact I only posted a Harvard study showing it's inefficiency and followed that up with 'if it works for 1 person it is worth it.'

Have you ever noticed though that those that DO follow the 12 steps route tend to have this my way or the highway view?

12 steps is not the only method of getting help. It's not the only way for people to be recovered and apparently the success rates are low...

I'm glad it worked for you. Next you might want to work on the anger though. Anger eats at you just as much as any other addiction. ;)

ETA:

Of course, if you provide any non-anecdotal evidence that shows AA isn't an addiction replacement or that it's success rates are much higher I'd gladly read them. :D

Oh,Why can't we play nice together ? And stop playing with semantics ,and stop making generalizations. Hence,there are many sick people in the rooms and many sick that are not in the rooms. We're all unique individuals ! And don't forget the CNN special on April 17 & the 18th. "Addiction" .... :coollook:

I can only tell you about my daughter's addiction to opiates. She has been fighting this awful addiction for two years. She went to a methadone clinic for a year. And I must say that it did not work for her , all it did was rot her teeth and take her money. About four hundred dollars a month. For a year. I have custody of her children. But my daughter has what is called a "duo" addiction because she is bi-polar.

I believe that you must find out what the underlying problem is and then try to fix it from there. There is hope and the first thing is to understand that this is a disease. And that you have a chance to overcome this.

Do not let these people judge you and take away what faith you have..... DON'T LET THE DEVIL STEAL YOUR JOY.

Specializes in ICU.
Dear Longhornfan

As a woman recovering and an RN, I would prompt you to ask these important questions of your sponsor. If you ask family members, colleagues and people who do not have experience of recovery, you might find the answers you are fishing for, which may lead you to conclude that you can drink safely. I would advise you to take these questions to your sponsor. If you don't have a woman sponsor, with long-term recovery, I strongly suggest you get one. If you are having difficulty breaking through your denial that alcohol is a drug, I suggest you bring that up at a meeting or attend some AA meetings. And if you feel sorry for yourself for any reason, I suggest getting some service commitments or working with a newcomer who is still shaky and needs help getting started in the program.

I am clean and sober for 26+ years and have never stopped attending meetings. I probably have averaged more than 1 a day over the years because I needed 2-3 a day in the beginning. I try to reach out my hand to newcomers because it helps me to keep it green. I don't usually break my anonymity in public, but figure this venue is anonymous anyway.

I have met many medical professionals in the rooms who lost their licenses due to diversion. You are very lucky to have a job and still have your family. You have much to be grateful for.

The AA and NA programs of recovery are not methods of stopping the abuse of substances. They are tools for living a sober and honest life, with dignity and peace of mind. The 12-step program is a template we place upon every situation in our lives, a way of getting into right relationship with ourselves and others, a way of living a life that agrees with our values.

If you put 1/10 of the effort into the program that you put into using and lying and covering for your addiction, I guarantee that you will be amazed before you are halfway through.

I hope we meet one another as we trudge the road to happy destiny.

Actually, the OP stated she went through TPAPN and graduated. SO, that means she went to AA/NA.. she would have been required to do 90 in 90 and four meetings a week for 2 years,, to qualify for graduation.. so, technically, she should know aa/na inside and out.

AA is an addiction replacement???

lord have mercy, is this post for real?:uhoh3:

Absolutey AA can be an addiction replacement. Just like exercise and clean eating can be an addiction replacement for the food addict who replaced an addiction to unhealthy junk and couch warming with weight lifting and lean proteins. The difference is- one of the addictions is "socially acceptable" and respected, while the other (in either case) is viewed as a sign of weakness and poor self control with negative social repercussions.

Specializes in Home Care, Primary care NP, QI, Nsg Adm.

Substitute compulsion often occurs in addiction and perhaps 12 steps might fit that description for some who take on all the associated lingo and lifestyle that goes along with it (but that is merely my suggestion, not my experience) however, that is what it often takes for an addict to remain sober and work a recovery program. 12 steps is not always enough though as many addicts have other issues such as anxiety and depression and/or other life traumas that require counseling and therapy.

Sometimes I feel some peoples attachment to AA, et al is like being attached to Amway or groups with similar dynamics. That makes me a bit uncomfortable with those who go very deep into 12 steps as if it is a religion and for some it seems to be. But, I have seen it work.

Islamically, the 12 steps have been 'Islamisized' by Muslim drug counselors to remove such things as the 'higher power', which for a Muslim is Allah (God). Otherwise the basic premise is there and effective.

I personally don't believe it is correct to term 12 steps as an "addiction replacement". It is not the same as giving a nicotine patch for someone trying to quit smoking. It is a method to recover from addiction not just keep it at bay. It also does not fit the evidence based characteristics of addiction such as increasing tolerance, physical withdrawal manifestations (for some drugs and ETOH), craving, etc.

Specializes in Med-Surg., Agency Nursing, LTC., MDS..
Substitute compulsion often occurs in addiction and perhaps 12 steps might fit that description for some who take on all the associated lingo and lifestyle that goes along with it (but that is merely my suggestion, not my experience) however, that is what it often takes for an addict to remain sober and work a recovery program. 12 steps is not always enough though as many addicts have other issues such as anxiety and depression and/or other life traumas that require counseling and therapy.

Sometimes I feel some peoples attachment to AA, et al is like being attached to Amway or groups with similar dynamics. That makes me a bit uncomfortable with those who go very deep into 12 steps as if it is a religion and for some it seems to be. But, I have seen it work.

Islamically, the 12 steps have been 'Islamisized' by Muslim drug counselors to remove such things as the 'higher power', which for a Muslim is Allah (God). Otherwise the basic premise is there and effective.

I personally don't believe it is correct to term 12 steps as an "addiction replacement". It is not the same as giving a nicotine patch for someone trying to quit smoking. It is a method to recover from addiction not just keep it at bay. It also does not fit the evidence based characteristics of addiction such as increasing tolerance, physical withdrawal manifestations (for some drugs and ETOH), craving, etc.

Well put. Some people are wary of AA's ,thinking they are some kind of cult ! ! I tend to like one of their sayings,"Take what you want and leave the rest". We are all individuals and what works for us may not be the complete answer for others. :yeah:

I personally don't believe it is correct to term 12 steps as an "addiction replacement". It is not the same as giving a nicotine patch for someone trying to quit smoking. It is a method to recover from addiction not just keep it at bay. It also does not fit the evidence based characteristics of addiction such as increasing tolerance, physical withdrawal manifestations (for some drugs and ETOH), craving, etc.

Those are hallmarks of physical addiction. There are different forms of addiction, including psychological addiction. I'd agree that the 12 steps as a part of a physical addiction would not be accurate- but as an addiction replacement- potentially an addiction of a psychological nature- I do think it fits. For some- perhaps many.

Further- you say that it is a method to recover from addiction- but don't the 12 steps teach that it is not possible to recover from addiction- the whole "once an addict, always an addict" thing we were talking about a bit earlier in the thread?

Well put. Some people are wary of AA's ,thinking they are some kind of cult ! ! I tend to like one of their sayings,"Take what you want and leave the rest". We are all individuals and what works for us may not be the complete answer for others. :yeah:

I think the ones who are wary tend to be the ones who have run into AA members who have adopted AA as their addiction replacement. Some people latch onto the AA "culture" and that's all they talk about- anyone who takes a drink or talks about alcohol in their presence they try to usher into a meeting... The "door to door salespeople" of AA who do kinda give off that "cult" like vibe... Now- AA may not be that way- but some of the members certainly make it appear that way. (Hey- just like members of various religions ;) )

Specializes in Home Care, Primary care NP, QI, Nsg Adm.

"Further- you say that it is a method to recover from addiction- but don't the 12 steps teach that it is not possible to recover from addiction- the whole "once an addict, always an addict" thing we were talking about a bit earlier in the thread?"

As I understand, recovery is not a cure. Recovery refers to putting pieces of a persons life back together. Whether that leads to a cure or not, I think depends on the model of addiction one adheres to. If you believe in the disease model, then no, adherents would say one is never cured but treating it as a primary illness like diabetes and seeking to stabilize the illness. But, for me once an addicted person moves well into his/her recovery the addiction becomes much more stable then diabetes, which continues causing damage even when blood glucose is controlled. i

Regarding physical addiction, increasing tolerance and craving are mediated in the brain and are not physical manifestations, craving is often produces physical sensations.

Whether or not 12 steps has addictive potential is moot if it allows a person to maintain sobriety. That does not mean I agree with some of the orientation followers develop but that is another issue. Would I argue with an alcoholic or an addict that AA is a replacement for his addiction? I wouldn't, if it was working to keep him sober and helping him come to terms with his addiction.

Specializes in Med-Surg., Agency Nursing, LTC., MDS..
I think the ones who are wary tend to be the ones who have run into AA members who have adopted AA as their addiction replacement. Some people latch onto the AA "culture" and that's all they talk about- anyone who takes a drink or talks about alcohol in their presence they try to usher into a meeting... The "door to door salespeople" of AA who do kinda give off that "cult" like vibe... Now- AA may not be that way- but some of the members certainly make it appear that way. (Hey- just like members of various religions ;) )

At the ripe young age of say....about...42, I crossed over the line of social drinker to alcoholic. Was that something I had aspired as a little kid,to be in my future ? Nope. The disease sunk it's claws in me with such an ardent force, I did'nt know what hit me...until now (recent years). Yet, when toying with cocaine years before, I had the foresight to realize, "Wow!" this is really something I could love ! And Boy, did I run like hell ...."I'm not getting hooked on this,I said ! ". So I stopped . And, somehow I did'nt get hooked on it. How come I could'nt do that with alcohol ? My methods for sobriety, Rehab., and continue to be AA meetings, knowledge,prayer ,gratitude and vigilance. With my mind so cloudy , emotions so raw and vulnerable in those earlier days, I was very impatient with myself and suspicious of "those AA cult people" !. Until I checked out other meetings to find the people I prefered to connect with for my healing. Whether it's important to argue semantics,"Am I cured now?" "not an addict anymore?" I'd rather not go back to do more research on it.... Hope something resonates...:icon_roll

Specializes in ICU.

The way that one poster described AA as "addiction replacement" makes it seem that ANY hobby is an addiction,, WT HECK? okay, whatever. You lost me there. After that, you are just filling the pages with words as far as I'm concerned.

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