Published Oct 16, 2012
Lolita34
148 Posts
Hi, if you are a mother with young children, please share how you are balancing nursing school and family. Thanks.
charitynaf
35 Posts
I am a mom to two wonderful little girls, age 5 and 3, and I am determined to not let my kids suffer because I have gone back to school. I promised to not miss one school function, one soccer game, one girls scout meeting, one swimming lesson. My husband is a wonderful partner and pitches in all he can, but he works second shift, so it's me and me alone come 1:30pm. I study after I get my kids to sleep every single night to make up for the time I do not have during the day. Even though nursing school is important for the betterment of my family, I won't let it take away from the time I have right now.
Thank you Charitynaf for responding. My kids are 2,3, and 5. I plan on not working once I get into a program. I am hoping that will help me balance family and school. Are you in associates or BSN program? I am waiting to hear from a BSN program I applied to. I just like to hear experiences from others I can relate to.
lillymom
204 Posts
I am in an ADN program, a mother of a 4 year old, and I also work 30 hours per week. I do not get to spend near enough time with my daughter as I would like but when we do spend time together I focus completely on her and we do pretty much whatever she wants. I usually take at least one day per week and do this with her, assuming that I have a free day that week. My program and work often does not allow me much free time.
As far as I can tell it doesn't affect her at all. I have always made sure that she is independent so she is not so reliant on me and I feel this helps with any separation anxiety that she occasionally exhibits. There are days though that I need to study and she absolutely will not let me! I just put away my books and entertain her while resigning myself to study after she is in bed.
LCinTraining
308 Posts
You are lucky to be able not to work. I work nights. I go to school during the day. Yes, I miss school events. It weighs on me, but my husband goes in my place. There is nothing I can do about it, because I hold their health insurance and that, to me, is more important than the school play.
FDW630
219 Posts
I am a mom to two little boys - 6 and 7. My husband works a 24/48 shift schedule and I am a student/stay at home mom. Im going back to school now that both of my kids are in elementary school. I do feel very blessed to have been able to stay at home with them while they were so young, but I am SO glad to finally be doing this. Stay at home mom is not for me. I commend the ladies out there who do it for their kids' whole lives. I also dont feel guilty to miss a field trip here and there. My kids know Im working hard for their betterment and I want them to look back and remember that...not that I was unhappy but present at every function.
alovelymother
104 Posts
I'm mom of two boys. Ages 6 & 8. I work 1-2 12 hour shifts a week and have class 3 days a week. My husband works a two week rotation of 8 days on 6 days off.
I find that when I get home from school or work it is better for me to give them a few hours of undivided attention and then it's easy for me to step away and study. We always eat dinner as a family. Sometimes I just have to miss things. I can't rearrange clinicals to see a school play. But my husband or another family member can go in my place and record it for me to watch with my kids when I get home. They have handled it well. Those few hours of undivided attention daily help a lot!
musingmom
77 Posts
Here are the things that help me balance family and school:
1. Really good family and extended family support. My husband and my children are on board, they know this is temporary, and "mom in school" is not the rest of our lives, but only for the next few years. My sister and my parents are local and help out to balance functions I can't get to, or stepping in to fill a family need I can't fill.
2. Planning, planning, planning. I schedule EVERYthing. Including personal time, studying, etc. I try to get all my work done during the week, so I can have a school free day on Sunday. Because I've planned my study time, I can plan family time too, so my kids know that when I'm available, I'm actually present, and not distracted.
3. Realistic expectations. I took 2 years to take my pre-reqs part time. I did very well, had a 4.0, and got into nursing school. Now, I have to adjust my grade expectations since I'm taking a full time load. First of all, taking pre-reqs at a community college made me look like a genius, because of the typical CC demographic. But now I'm in nursing school with my peers, and I'm average. I'm ok with that (and the occasional B) because the alternative is to ignore my family even more, and ruin my balance. I got into school... now I just need to pass. No DON is going to ask about my B in Fundamentals.
4. Studying: You have to figure out what works for your situation. I have trouble studying at home, even when the kids are asleep. I schedule studying out of the house. Other people do fine at home.
5. When I am discouraged, I remember that I am doing this FOR my family. The sacrifice now is going to pay off when I graduate.
Hope that helps. For reference, I have 4 children, and I'm pregnant with my 5th. That's a whole other post.
Best wishes,
Mere
stupendouslyawesome
2 Posts
I am older than most of you and my children are grown so I am talking from what I learned works.
1. Schedule - children need to count on things such as a routine at bedtime. Always read a book and say your prayers. When you stop and do this the kids reflect on the day and you are able to talk to them about things that are bothering them. Communication is something you want to build and will depend on in the teen years.
2. If you can, always eat at the table. When the televison is off the whole family can talk together. Prepare breakfast the night before so you just heat it up in the morning - or whatever it takes - expecially if this is the only meal the family can make together make the time count and go over who needs what and when for the day.
3. Study together. While you are studying nursing sit at the table so your children can study also and watch and learn from you. If the kids do not have anything to work on have them color or read a book but be by you watching and learning.
4. Before you respond to something your children have said or done, think, pray and answer in a calm voice.
5. Get up earlier than your children in the morning so when they get up you are happy and ready to meet the day. Smile and remind them today is going to be a great day greet it with a smile and those around you will smile back.
Your children are a wonderful gift and you are the perfect parent - try your best and do not feel guilty - the guilt will eat you up and steal your joy and your childrens joy.
WorkingTowardsBSN
120 Posts
I just started my BSN program this fall. We are fortunate to be able to live off of my husband's salary, so I quit my job when I started the program. My kids are almost 4 and almost 2.
My rule is that my books do not come out until the kids are in bed (or once in a while I get them playing a game or watching a video and I'll read while they're doing that). I do homework during nap time and once they go to bed. It was really important to me to give them my full attention, and to not let my relationship with them (or my husband) suffer because I'm in school. So far we're all managing really well.
I won't tell you it's easy, because it's not. But there is an end in sight (April/May 2015 to be exact), and I do have summers off, so we're all just dealing with it a semester (or week or even day) at a time.
Future_RN_CA
6 Posts
I'm a single mother to two boys STILL finishing pre Reqs to get into nursing program. I can't wait until I'm finally in program ... :)
First of all, HUGE props to you for making it happen as a single parent. It's hard enough to do having my husband to help me, I can't imagine how you're doing it on your own! That's AMAZING!
Next, I hear you about finishing the pre-reqs! It took me a long, long time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but I'm so glad it's finally here! Keep your chin up - you'll be in a program before you know it!