Called in tonight; I know I'm in trouble...

[NurseCard, ADN]

I called in tonight. I didn't want to, but I just simply did not feel like I could handle it tonight. I was worn out and had not been able to nap, plus I've got crap going on here at the house that is really weighing on me. It's the second time I've called in in almost eight months of working there. Both times I have called in for mental health reasons, not because I was physically sick.

The nursing supervisor just kinda laughed at me. She asked me "Well what's wrong with you?" (I HATE that), and I didn't want to say "Well I haven't slept and I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown here" so I just simply said that I didn't feel good. She laughed and then said "Okay, well I'll tell (my manager) then." Ugh. That made me feel like I was probably going to be in trouble.

We have a PCT on our floor who has regular severe anxiety attacks while she is at work. She often walks off the elevator at the beginning of the shift, practically already in the midst of an anxiety attack. Often we wish that on nights when she feels like she just can't handle it, she would just call in. We often spend our shifts taking care of her AND the patients.

I feel like, if you seriously don't feel like you can handle work mentally that day, you should call in, just as if you were physically sick. But I know a lot of people, supervisors don't feel that way. And I'm not going to tell the supervisor that I'm having an anxiety attack and I haven't slept any and I just can't handle it tonight.

Well anyway... just needed to vent, I guess.

Thanks for listening.

[ohmeowzer RN, RN]

calling off 2 times in 8 mos isn't bad. i've called in more than that...

we all need mental health days and i wouldn't worry. i bet they won't say a thing to you. keep me posted and don't worry...

[Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN]

There are just days that happen and they are called mental health days for a reason. Lots of nurses do it, as long as it is not frequent. I've done it and for the same reasons you did.

And BTW, in our state you can't ask what is wrong with you. Supervisors can only legally say Okay I will let your boss know and that's it. No inquisitions, just okay.

[jjjoy, LPN]

I agree that calling off twice in 8 months isn't a bad record.

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

Babe, it's the same the world over, unless you can prove you are "under the weather"..eg..your leg is hanging off or you have impaled yourself on a large spear, then it's zero sympathy and a get your backside to work attitude. Never mind your MIND!!!

I know of co-workers who have faced the same kind of put down, it only serves to make the person with the issues goin on feel worse, doesn't it?

You take care of yourself, I'm sure some of your co-workers have called in sick much more than you have over the past months, just cause it's physical stuff and can mostly be seen, makes that ok!

(((((Hugs to ya babe!)))))

[LydiaNN]

And I agree that asking what is wrong is inappropriate (I believe it is illegal here, too).

I always just say "I don't feel well. I'm going to use one of my sick days". Our policy is that if you're out sick for 3 or more days, they can ask for a doctor's note and if you are frequently absent, you can offer one. Even those don't say what's wrong, though, just that you need this period of time off. And they go to HR, not to supervisors.

[MikeyJ, RN]

If you have the sick days, then you can use and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I know it is engrained in us that it is "bad" to call out sick.. but sometimes you just have to. And you don't need to give a reason when you call out.

[cloister]

2 times in 8 months? That's not bad........

As for "What's wrong with you?", it doesn't really matter does it? If you feel, for whatever reason, that you can't do your job that night, then you need to call in. I have three boys and work nights in the ICU. Lord knows, I've taken a few mental health days, and I always felt better afterward.

I'm not sure what the policy is at my hospital. My policy has always been, if I'm sick, I call in; if I'm well, I'll be there. My policy supercedes theirs.

Try not to worry about it. If pressed for a diagnosis, mention something about "explosive diarrhea". That ought to squelch things a bit! :chuckle

[Chico David, BSN, RN]

I agree with all those who have said, in essence, don't feel guilty about it.

But I also worry about you as a person. I read under the actual words of your post a person who may be stretched pretty tight by the stresses of life and could be at risk for coping in unhealthy ways. Nursing is a really tough job - as are a lot of jobs these days - and we need to find positive ways of caring for ourselves.

That means a little sustained attention to things like healthy diet, adequate sleep, regular exercise and being constructively assertive about other family members taking their share of the load and making sure your sleep and rest time are protected.

At the highest level of wellness, it is really helpful to seek out some deliberate stress-reducing activity - mindfulness meditation, yoga, something within your own religious tradition that gives you the tools to cope with stressful times none of us can escape.

We can only really care well for others when we care for ourselves first.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

I sure hope that you are NOT in trouble. Not warranted. Period.

Just because you are not obviously broken - does not mean that you are whole.

Mental health day, whatever - the bottom line is that when you are not 100% you cannot give 100%. Self care is essential to being able to care for others. Our patients deserve 100% - you are held to a 100% standard. You are responsible for ensuring that you are up to it. Just because the facility pressures you - does not mean that you get a "pass" on this - so the "sick time" is there for a reason. Use it. You deserve to be able to call a "time out" for any reason - physical or mental or heck, just because - it is your time (a benefit!).

I hope that you rest and put this out of your head. I decided a couple of years ago that I will not work anywhere that I am not valued and respected. You are in demand. Demand that you be treated well. I think an "I'm unwell and will not be working tonight" explains it all. As long as you follow the written policy - you should be in the clear. 2 times in 8 months - big deal. You sound like a great nurse - I have followed many of your posts and they are lucky to have you. Now, do not beat yourself up and get well!!!!

FYI- I had to call in for today. I called in on Monday and my RN Manager assured me that they wanted me at 100% and to take care of myself and get well - I fretted a bit about the lack of RN's - he would have picked up my shift, but another of our bases released the float RN and that base called in one of their RN's - so the day was covered without any problem. It reminded me that I work with some of the best folks in the world. There are good places out there! I had to look a while to find one. I must say that I am now truly blessed.

I really hope that it goes well. Take care.

Sending good thoughts your way - you are not too far from me!!!

[MzMouse]

I hate that attitude. They wonder why we all need mental health days once in a while. I hope you get some sleep and feel better. Don't let it get to you.

[vamedic4, EMT-P]

Don't worry about it. Twice in 8 months?? That's nothing. Get some rest...sounds like you could use it.

vamedic4