Called into the office, told I'm a slob.

clemmm78, RN · May 9, 2010

Sorry, but your choice of shoes is inappropriate in a healthcare setting. How on earth could you react if there was an emergency? Even if you aren't doing hands-on care, if there was a fire or some other emergency, you would have to help evac patients.

When we are at work, it's not about how we look to ourselves, it's about how we present ourselves as a representative to our employers. I'm going to risk being flamed and say that if they are bringing this up, they must have a good reason.

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 9, 2010

When we are at work, it's not about how we look to ourselves, it's about how we present ourselves as a representative to our employers. I'm going to risk being flamed and say that if they are bringing this up, they must have a good reason.

I don't think the OP is denying anything said to her from management. She has accepted it and is looking for tips to accomplish it.

cookderosa · May 9, 2010

I recently was having a meeting with my immediate boss and the administrator over another issue. Not only did I not resolve the issue (though I know why) my appearance was also brought up. I'm tired of totally boring and unstimulating tasks I'm being given to do (QA junk, mostly) so I petitioned to be put on the floor with a med cart. I was told that would be fine if I wanted to work for LPN wages. Then, they pointed to my scrubs and messy hair and told me I was part of administration and needed to look more professional and like I have more self-esteem.
I'm sensitive about my looks anyway, so I just wanted to melt into the ground. I've gone out and bought some (expensive) dresses (Lane Bryant, Dillards, etc.) I tried on some regular pumps but thought they made me look too frumpy so I found these rather odd-looking platform high heels (Lady Ga Ga.) I'm sensitive about my weight, but if I've got to spend good money on clothes I want something I like (yes, I liked the Lady Ga Ga shoes.) Do you think this will go over well? I know we have one who is 50 yrs. old and wears baby doll dresses...what do you think is appropriate for nursing administration to wear if they don't wear scrubs?

Don't take this the wrong way, but dressing like Lady Ga Ga isn't professional, it's obnoxious. I'm 40, however, when I was young I had a lot of good role models that taught me how to dress in administration. Your role models are your bosses. If they wear suits, you need to be in suits. If they are in slacks and sweaters, then you should be too. Conservative is never bad- trendy/wild however is open to interpretation. Look at those above you and go with that look. At a different facility, this will be different- you have to be a chameleon and blend into where you are at the time. I disagree that the work place is an opportunity for personal expression, that's what Friday night at the club is for.

Also, for years I was a college administrator reporting directly to the dean, and I bought 100% of my clothes at second hand shops. You can likely find high quality $200 suits that may be great off the rack or just require a little nip/tuck for $10. I also bought classic lines and classic styles that I could keep in my closet for many seasons. A trendy wardrobe needs to be replaced very quickly, and thus is harder to keep up with, requires a lot of shopping and $$$$. Stick with black, tan, brown, navy, white, and you can't go wrong. If you want color, buy a necklace or scarf. Lastly, if your hair is messy, get it cut into a low-fuss style. I hate spending a lot of time on my hair, so I have 1 or 2 stand by styles. A tight low pony tail in a slicked back style is always good.

You need to fit in with their idea of proper image before they will promote you.

clemmm78, RN · May 9, 2010

I don't think the OP is denying anything said to her from management. She has accepted it and is looking for tips to accomplish it.

I didn't say she was denying it, but repeating that she likes to wear shoes that we know aren't appropriate isn't really showing that she accepts what they are saying.

llg, PhD, RN · May 9, 2010

I have some pounds to lose and I am all boob too. I hope your superiors didn't bring up your breasts because that is completely inappropriate on their part. If you are looking to lose some weight don't spend a lot on shoes and clothes right now because it will go to waste. In Fashion Bug I found a few flowered skirts and they were buy 1 get one half off so 2/$30. They have a slim elastic waistband and you can put a solid pretty tank and short sleeved button down right over it. Get yourself a classic sandal or two with a small wedge and you will be good to go. I bought a few because I need to lose weight and need some clothes that can carry me a bit.
Another good thing is the solid cotton sundresses out now with the gathered waist in heavy cotton. They have them in paterns too but keep the pattern on the smaller side. They hide a lot of figure flaws and are flattering when worn with a short sleeved sweater you will look stylish and professional. Target carries them along with some cute solid skirts. Buy a few and mix and match for the summer.
Pull your hair back in a low ponytail with a pretty clip. It will look neat and modern.

Me, too. I am in my 50's, short, overweight, and have the boobs. I've been in leadership positions for almost 30 years. I usually wear a skirt or nice trousers and a shell/tank on top with a washable jacket, jacket-shirt, or sweater on top. I mix and match the colors for variety. The sun dresses with a little shirt/sweater is also a great idea I have used.

For shoes ... I do flats or a comfortable low or moderate heel. A short, heavy set woman in really high heels does not look taller and slimmer. The shoes fool no one. They just look uncomfortable, sometimes unsafe, and can make the wearer look silly if they prevent her from walking quickly and securely. Really high heels don't look professional: they look more appropriate for social functions than a healthcare workplace.

And don't forget hair and make-up. It can be simple and "natural" looking ... and need not be expensive. But you do need to look "put together" and not as if you just rolled out of bed and did nothing.

netglow, ASN, RN · May 9, 2010

How soon do you think it'll be before this thread goes down that "other" road. Pretty sure the clock has already started ticking.

Sugarcoma, RN · May 9, 2010

you have already gotten some great advice here. Let me add my 2 cents. In my previous career as an office manager I always loved nice tailored shirts with black, gray, khaki, herringbone etc. slacks. Get yourself a couple of nice jackets and some low heel or flat shoes as mentioned. Avenue is a nice store for us larger ladies a bit expensive but they have great sales! Fashion bug is good too. Buy their sale items and also google promo codes if your ordering online.

danceswithsnakes · May 9, 2010

No offense to anyone in their 50's (we are all heading that way, after all) but I'm 35. I think of wearing dowdy, stuffy black pantsuits or pants at all (I like dresses) or even black business skirts and I become very depressed, it's not me at all. Tne truth is, I will likely be at this job another year or until I finish nurse practitioner school. I'm not jockeying for a position.

I do have low self esteem but being expected to dress like that will only make it worse. Maybe it's tacky, but my sense of style is a little eccentric. I take full responsibility for being a slob, my uniforms were stained. I can't even eat without looking like I used my chest for a table. My hairdo consisted of a ponytail. That said, we have many rather downright unattractive people (including a very overweight woman in her late 60's) and they never say anything to her. They also never say anything to the 50 year old woman in baby doll dresses. But they singled me out. Again, I don't deny looking like a slob, but we have people here who are FAR from the catwalk.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 9, 2010

No offense to anyone in their 50's (we are all heading that way, after all) but I'm 35. I think of wearing dowdy, stuffy black pantsuits or pants at all (I like dresses) or even black business skirts and I become very depressed, it's not me at all. Tne truth is, I will likely be at this job another year or until I finish nurse practitioner school. I'm not jockeying for a position.
I do have low self esteem but being expected to dress like that will only make it worse. Maybe it's tacky, but my sense of style is a little eccentric. I take full responsibility for being a slob, my uniforms were stained. I can't even eat without looking like I used my chest for a table. My hairdo consisted of a ponytail. That said, we have many rather downright unattractive people (including a very overweight woman in her late 60's) and they never say anything to her. They also never say anything to the 50 year old woman in baby doll dresses. But they singled me out. Again, I don't deny looking like a slob, but we have people here who are FAR from the catwalk.

It's not about anyone else and what they are doing and what is and isn't fair. It's about YOU and the problem management had with you. You can either chose to fix it or deal with the consequences. There are times and places for your own eccentric style. It's all about personal responsibility. You acknowledge there is a problem but it seems like you are looking more for validation then anything.

Saying "well so and so did it and you didn't say anything to her, or why does she get to do that" is not a response expected from a grown adult. If you only plan on being at this job for another year I would suggest you suck it up and make some changes.

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 9, 2010

No offense to anyone in their 50's (we are all heading that way, after all) but I'm 35. I think of wearing dowdy, stuffy black pantsuits or pants at all (I like dresses) or even black business skirts and I become very depressed, it's not me at all. Tne truth is, I will likely be at this job another year or until I finish nurse practitioner school. I'm not jockeying for a position.
I do have low self esteem but being expected to dress like that will only make it worse. Maybe it's tacky, but my sense of style is a little eccentric. I take full responsibility for being a slob, my uniforms were stained. I can't even eat without looking like I used my chest for a table. My hairdo consisted of a ponytail. That said, we have many rather downright unattractive people (including a very overweight woman in her late 60's) and they never say anything to her. They also never say anything to the 50 year old woman in baby doll dresses. But they singled me out. Again, I don't deny looking like a slob, but we have people here who are FAR from the catwalk.

You started off well, but now I don't know what you want....

You're 35; I'm 39. I've seen women our age with an unusual style, and they've looked fabulous because they also take their ages and body types into account.

Don't emulate the poptart of the week who is much younger than us; make it original for YOU.

CuriousMe · May 9, 2010

No offense to anyone in their 50's (we are all heading that way, after all) but I'm 35. I think of wearing dowdy, stuffy black pantsuits or pants at all (I like dresses) or even black business skirts and I become very depressed, it's not me at all. Tne truth is, I will likely be at this job another year or until I finish nurse practitioner school. I'm not jockeying for a position.
I do have low self esteem but being expected to dress like that will only make it worse. Maybe it's tacky, but my sense of style is a little eccentric. I take full responsibility for being a slob, my uniforms were stained. I can't even eat without looking like I used my chest for a table. My hairdo consisted of a ponytail. That said, we have many rather downright unattractive people (including a very overweight woman in her late 60's) and they never say anything to her. They also never say anything to the 50 year old woman in baby doll dresses. But they singled me out. Again, I don't deny looking like a slob, but we have people here who are FAR from the catwalk.

How do you know they didn't say anything to anyone else?

In any case, they did say something to you, so it seems that you can take some of the great advice given here, or be spoken to again and/or let go from your current gig.

Working in healthcare is not the place to be a fashion plate. It's a place for neat, practical clothes. Now, that can look nice as well (I like the idea of the floral skirts and the sun dresses with a sweater), but in the choice between neat and practical and fashionable....neat and practical has to win.

Wouldn't you need to dress professionally after you get your NP license as well?

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · May 9, 2010

dances, stained and dirty clothing is inappropriate and unacceptable, not eccentric.