Called In because my coworkers are complaining about me

JKL33 · Oct 13, 2018

I would do whatever it takes to transfer or in some other way get away from this manager and your toxic coworkers who are willing to levy petty complaints about you and then lie about it.

Calling someone in under these pretenses without a genuine intent to correct, critique, or even discipline, is wrong. There is zero problem-solving attempt here, and therefore it is nothing more than actual bullying.

nursinghopeful23 · Oct 13, 2018

My gosh. You know I have been trying to confirm that I was bullied. I am very scared because if I try to transfer I worry she will paint an inaccurate picture of how I work.

Accolay · Oct 13, 2018

Are you in a union? If so enact your Weingarten Rights if there is another meeting.

If not union and you still really want to work on this unit, the next time your manager confronts you with a meeting, ask for absolute specific items. Get it in writing. We all have things we can improve upon, but you can't do it if your manager isn't explicit about her expectations.

But I'm with JKL- who would want to work with others, especially with a manager, who don't have the intestinal fortitude to come forward and be straight with you if they have a problem?

TessLJ · Oct 16, 2018

You have the right to be given specific pinpointed behaviors that need corrected. All the generalizations are not helpful and it's setting up an environment of mistrust. Not very good management happening where you are.

kakamegamama · Oct 16, 2018

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know what it feels like as I was once told that my colleagues were very dissatisfied with my work. So, I went to them and asked if they could tell me the specific things they were concerned about so that I could improve. Every single one of them denied having complained about me to management. I found out later that this sort of behavior on the part of management was the usual for this person when they were planning to get rid of an employee. And, that was my outcome. I knew though, that I was let go, not because I was not doing my work, but because of management's own issues.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Oct 16, 2018

I once had something similar happen to me. My manager called me into the office to discuss complaints about my work, and when I asked my co-workers what I was doing (or not doing) that bothered them, every one of them denied having said anything. As it turned out, this manager didn't like me for some reason and she was making a paper trail so she could get rid of me; one morning she even accused me of giving a narcotic without signing it out, when I didn't have the keys or even an assignment yet. After more than a year of this, I unfortunately had a nervous breakdown and quit without notice. It burned my bridges with the hospital system, but it was worth it to get away from that manager. I've never been one to call every little incident "bullying", but that's exactly what this was. Thankfully it never happened again in the course of my career.

kakamegamama · Oct 16, 2018

I once had something similar happen to me. My manager called me into the office to discuss complaints about my work, and when I asked my co-workers what I was doing (or not doing) that bothered them, every one of them denied having said anything. As it turned out, this manager didn't like me for some reason and she was making a paper trail so she could get rid of me; one morning she even accused me of giving a narcotic without signing it out, when I didn't have the keys or even an assignment yet. After more than a year of this, I unfortunately had a nervous breakdown and quit without notice. It burned my bridges with the hospital system, but it was worth it to get away from that manager. I've never been one to call every little incident "bullying", but that's exactly what this was. Thankfully it never happened again in the course of my career.

How horrible! I wonder if this is the same one I encountered.

I hope you are doing better now, and sorry you experienced this.

Tenebrae, BSN, RN · Oct 17, 2018

A great lesson I learned from my time as a student

When criticism and feedback is constructive it is always specific, eg nursinghopeful123 I would like you to work on X, or I think you could improve Y by doing X and Z. Constructive criticism will always leave you with a way to improve and grown from the experience

When its coming from a less helpful perspective its never specific and never leaves you with a way foward.

Best of luck OP

kmedrano · Oct 18, 2018

Speaking from personal experience: GET OUT NOW. Working in a toxic, uncivil, and unsupportive environment will affect you both on a personal and professional level and this will not change overnight. Wonderful thing about nursing is that we have so many options, so you won't have any problems finding another position. You don't need that department for your nursing career! Put up the deuces and bounce girl

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Oct 18, 2018

Ah, yes. Denials of having complained. Tattling to the boss while not speaking directly to you. A weak, incompetent boss who listens to gossip and doesn't tame her immature, vicious staff.

Do yourself a favor and get out of there. Were you looking to work there after you graduate?

I guess you could tell the boss you would appreciate a written Plan for Correction or whatever it's called where you work.

Plan for Improvement, whatever. Tell her you appreciate her guidance and really want to improve and you need to know

specifically where you are falling short so you can work on those things. Let her know you would like to check back with her in a week or 2 to get an update on how you are doing. Get stuff in writing.

On the other hand, there is the possibility that asking for things in writing will land them in your personnel file, which is probably going to be harmful to you. Right now, things are just on a verbal level, which might be best for you. You will have to decide.

Be courteous and sincere whenever you talk to her. Convince her that you truly do want to excel and contribute to the success of her department.

Good luck. I hope it all works out in your favor.

Do NOT discuss anything personal with coworkers. They sound like a pack of wolves and will use anything you say to ruin you and

make you miserable. Talk about the job or only non-personal things if you have to talk to them at all. It's probably best to not ask them if they have a problem with you, as they have already shown their cards and they do not have the courage or courtesy to to talk to you directly.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · Oct 18, 2018

As a manager, I consider it pretty spineless to not communicate an issue directly to an employee, but instead to communicate it to a superior who then communicates the message. This isn't leadership, and it speaks very poorly of the supervisors who failed to communicate. My take on it is that they are so afraid of conflict that they are unwilling to address the issues personally. In that case, they should not be supervisors.