But you're a MAN!

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Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?

-Ben

Specializes in M.S.N.(ACNP/FNP), ICU/Flight, Paramedic.
Please do not chastise me for being a girl and posting here. Just wanted to share. I am a girl as I said. I am working as an MA while I am in NS. I can not tell you how many times I have asked a male patient what they are in for and they refuse to tell me saying "Its personal" and the FNP I work for (male) comes out and asks me to unlock the supplies of 'little blue pills' ==code for Viagra.

I am sorry that patients think you can not possibly do something because you are male...unless it was a male nurse telling me he knew how I felt when I was in labor having a contraction I would be OK with a make nurse:lol2: My best friend just finished LPN school and he is a male and I would trust him with anything, he was my best study partner.

Read the Forum reminder in here; It is fine for a female to post here;

though the subjective matter has an inclination to Male nursing;

it does not exclude anyone from posting. ;)

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Specializes in Medical Telemetry, LTC,AlF, Skilled care.

Thank you all for your replies, all of which have been thoughtful and many very humorous :roll I appreciate your encouragement insight and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply!!

-Ben

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

Hi, Ben!

I agree that you shouldn't take this as a personal rejection. Having a patient who objects to having a male help them isn't nearly as depressing as one who rejects you in particular--but chances are, you'll run into that, too, someday. The thing to consider is that anything that can reasonably be done to make the patient more comfortable should be done.

On a more pragmatic note, it's often the case that a patient who is initially shy about a man helping her toilet may in time come to be grateful for anyone who can just get there in time. I couple of times waiting for a female to get there makes the male who is available seem a lot more appealing. After a time or two of that, and the idea of calling a guy doesn't seem nearly as awkward, although some might still ask for a gal to do foley placement or a bath, etc. One nice thing is that while the face of nursing may indeed be changing, it's usually not too difficult to find a female co-worker. Imagine how it must have been, not so long ago, for a male pt who was shy about being touched by a female!

There will undoubtedly be times when you'll be asked to do something for a bashful male, and while it does seem that male pts requesting male nurses and aides are less common than females requesting females, as a male you will likely get called upon for assistance with heavy and/or combative pts. So, hopefully, it all evens out.

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Specializes in CICu, ICU, med-surg.
i usually say.....well, your doctor is a man, right? they go, well yeah... so i go... well, im on his team, so what's the difference? a little lightbulb usually goes off when you remind them that youre part of a healthcare team that is all just trying to help. im just reassuring about things. if religion gets involved, i dont bother. i just ask to switch. if they still request a woman, try your best to accomdate. it will probably make your day/night easier anyway.

I used this tactic with a pt once and it did actually work.

Usually when a pt refuses me (it's only happened a couple of times), I tell them that it's going to be a few minutes until a woman is available (I work nights). Quite a few times, they've just allowed me to help them and I've done my best to respect their privacy. Frankly my opinion is that if someone refuses to have me as their nurse, it's their problem not mine. I'm a good nurse and it's a shame they can't get over their hang ups.

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Specializes in Medical Telemetry, LTC,AlF, Skilled care.
I used this tactic with a pt once and it did actually work.

Usually when a pt refuses me (it's only happened a couple of times), I tell them that it's going to be a few minutes until a woman is available (I work nights). Quite a few times, they've just allowed me to help them and I've done my best to respect their privacy. Frankly my opinion is that if someone refuses to have me as their nurse, it's their problem not mine. I'm a good nurse and it's a shame they can't get over their hang ups.

I've used that tactic of "you'll have to wait a few minutes." several times with a good success rate. It just frustrates me that with todays nursing shortage that patients are allowed to pick and choose which nurse or nursing assistant can help them.

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Specializes in CICu, ICU, med-surg.
I've used that tactic of "you'll have to wait a few minutes." several times with a good success rate. It just frustrates me that with todays nursing shortage that patients are allowed to pick and choose which nurse or nursing assistant can help them.

I feel your frustration. I doubt anyone would be as accomodating to a pt who requested that they not have a black nurse. Why is it still acceptable for someone to refuse a male nurse?

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Hello Ben;

Hang in there dude, it will get better.

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Don't take it personally ... I've had patients who didn't like me because I was white, or because I looked "so young I couldn't possibly know what I was doing") Helllloooo .. I'm nearly 30! But I take that as a compliment I guess. Anyway, don't let a judgmental patient get to you - some people are just like that and are never going to change. I find that in my facility, male nurses actually get more respect - a lot of patients assume that male nurses are really doctors. lol

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Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.

Im a female but just had to post to this. My mother is almost 80 and from the old days...the OLD DAYS.. anyway she was in the hospital and one day I came to visit and she said " Oh my gosh ,you need to do something about this, a man came in my room and took me to the bathroom last night. Isnt that against the hospital law, a male taking a female to the bathroom". I started laughing and she got furious with me , I told her "look he does not want to have sex with you he just wants to help you to the bathroom". She was so amazed that a man could assist a female without having intentions... and I have this patient that her husband refuses to let a male attend her in anyway. He has made comments that if they saw her naked they would want to have sex with her...lol...lol...lol . So one night this female CNA was putting the patient to bed and the husband was raving about how he didnt like men to touch his wife. The CNA said "ya I know what cha mean, I dont like men either". I really dont think she thought he would hear that but he did ,anyway he said "What do you mean by that"... She replyed "Oh Im a lesbian"... The mans face dropped to the grown. I guess he had never thought about that situation. What to do..... What to do

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Specializes in critical care and LTC.

Sometimes older men don't like young nurses that are women.

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