But you're a MAN!

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2006

Sometimes I've very tempted to respond "And you're a man/woman! And this is a hospital. And I'm your Nurse/Aide. Wooooow! Isn't that great?"

krzysiu · Jun 14, 2006

i usually say.....well, your doctor is a man, right? they go, well yeah... so i go... well, im on his team, so what's the difference? a little lightbulb usually goes off when you remind them that youre part of a healthcare team that is all just trying to help. im just reassuring about things. if religion gets involved, i dont bother. i just ask to switch. if they still request a woman, try your best to accomdate. it will probably make your day/night easier anyway.

vamedic4, EMT-P · Jun 14, 2006

Hi Ben...try not to worry about your patient's perception of you as a male...just do the best you can for them. If that means talking to your charge nurse and/or switching patients with someone else - so be it. When you're a nurse this may be less of an issue.

About the negativity - comes with the territory. If you aren't able to help them (because they won't let you)...find someone who is able and caring enough to do it. That way you're doing the best for them.

I don't think the majority of patients harbor any ill will toward male nurses/aids/techs...but they may feel uncomfortable, given that it is a field dominated by women, and you're not a woman.

And older women especially are prone to this - and it should be taken into consideration. Of course, it stings a little when they don't want "YOUR" help, so get them the best help you can. It'll set you at ease knowing someone you trust is taking care of them, and the patient will be more at ease too.

Have a good night!

vamedic4

Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?
-Ben

karenG · Jun 14, 2006

I have been told that I am 'woman.. you no good.. get me a man'

and usually I have reached the point of debating with myself how to kill the patient and where to dispose of the body!!

so I smile and say 'fine' and go and find them a man!!

Karen

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2006

Ben, it could be because your young and your a student. Sometimes it's really a student thing. I've had patients send away the female students and ask for me.

Every now and then I get the "send one of the girls in" but it isn't near as often as you're reporting. So take heart, once you graduate, present yourself with authority and confidence, it will get better.

malenurse1 · Jun 14, 2006

Ben, my experiance is that when these female patients, (usually older women, I don't mean to generalize though), ask for a female, it is often for toileting and or hygenic purposes. I simply go get one of the female staff to assist the patient with this issue. Funny though, when I need to assess them, they don't mind me looking at their body parts. I too present myself with authority and as a knowledgeable, caring RN. This seems to help. I have alos learned not to assume that just because they are female, thay want a female to assist them with these issue. Occasionally, when one of them say they need to go to the bathroom, I will ask if they want one of the female staff members to assist them. I do this out of respect to their privacy, but I am often met with "There is no reason you can't help with this."

I guess what I am trying to say is not to take it personally if they want another female to help. While I do run into those who want a female to assist with their personally hygiene, I have not yet had a female (or male) patient who did not want me to be their nurse.

Good luck in school and hang in there.

L.O.E.N. · Jul 3, 2006

I've had the "but you're a man" thing a lot too.... but more often i get the "hey doctor/are you the doctor?" thing.

Corvette Guy · Jul 9, 2006

Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?
-Ben

Hey Ben,

It could be a combo of your youthful appearance & the age of your female patients. Don't worry too much about it, though. It is nothing personal and after awhile you will have learned appropriate replies to make your elderly female patients feel more comfortable.

Good luck in school!

remrimsgems · Jul 10, 2006

Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?
-Ben

Ben,

When I worked in a VA hospice, 95% of the pts in the ward were men. There were four of us "CNA's". I WAS THE ONLY GUY

The pts would always call me or ask for me for EVERYTHING :pumpiron: :smackingf :no: :banghead: :bugeyes: :thankya:

:uhoh3: .........

NeuroMedic · Jul 17, 2006

I would respond with:

"Not for long; I'm just nursing to pay for my operation."

HeartsOpenWide, RN · Jul 17, 2006

Please do not chastise me for being a girl and posting here. Just wanted to share. I am a girl as I said. I am working as an MA while I am in NS. I can not tell you how many times I have asked a male patient what they are in for and they refuse to tell me saying "Its personal" and the FNP I work for (male) comes out and asks me to unlock the supplies of 'little blue pills' ==code for Viagra.

I am sorry that patients think you can not possibly do something because you are male...unless it was a male nurse telling me he knew how I felt when I was in labor having a contraction I would be OK with a make nurse:lol2: My best friend just finished LPN school and he is a male and I would trust him with anything, he was my best study partner.