But I have little kids!

cannoli · Oct 11, 2003

uk_nurse, I've been doing this for over thirty years and no one has been covering for me. I have worked more than my fair share of weekends and holidays. I have also experienced working so that other people can be off a certain day and then never having that reciprocated.

My opinion stands.

RN~in~CT · Oct 11, 2003

Originally posted by uk_nurse
Wow some strong points here regarding nurses who have children and as you may have read i have 3 young children. We have 'family friendly hours' in our hospital which was introduced by the Government. I would like to see if some of those who have disagreed about requesting time off to be with their children still have the same views when they themselves have children of their own.
Its not just at christmas time but what about those without children who request time off because they want to go out at weekends (which happens all year round and frequently too) and those who have children cover for them... I think people who go out alot at weekends frequently are forgetting this. I am sure just requesting that one day off for christmas day to be with their children is a small request compared to those who frequently want to go out and enjoy themselves at weekends. I'm sorry but alot of replies on this board seem to be 'against' nurses requesting xmas day to be with their children.

Are you suggesting that single people w/out children should always work Christmas so that those w/ kids can be home every Christmas?

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 11, 2003

UK-nurse seems to resent single people for wanting the weekend off "to go out and have fun" but thinks she's entitled to Christmas off because "I have small children at home." Guess what. We all have a life . . . yours is family and children, someone else's might be something different. You are no more entitled to every Christmas off than the single folks are entitled to every weekend off.

Years ago, our nurse manager stepped down from her position and went to work as a staff nurse in our unit -- a position she was no more qualified for than I am to fly 747s! After a year of managing our unit, it came as a total shock to her that she wasn't going to have every weekend off ("But my husband works all week, and I won't get to see him!") or all of the holidays. Christmas was particularly important to her. She came to me one day and told me that she wouldn't be able to go on living if she didn't get back to S. Dakota to see her family and informed me that because "You don't have a life, so you can work it for me."

At that time, she was right. i didn't have a life. Was single after a nasty divorce, my family was 2000 miles away and I was new in town and didn't have many friends. I was expecting to work Christmas, but for some reason they gave it to me off -- NOT at my request. I would have been more than willing to work Christmas for anyone who asked me even somewhat nicely. But I did NOT work Christmas -- or any other weekend or holiday -- EVER for this particular nurse. Later, when I got together with my husband (who also worked on the same unit) neither he nor his friends did, either.

We all have lives, and we all want certain times off. If we can't all have the same time off -- and we can't -- we have to work together and be fair with it. Someone's small children at home don't trump you wanting to spend a last Christmas with your dying father or someone else's wanting to spend their first Christmas with their new husband and their new faith at their new church. I always figured that Christmas isn't about December 25 -- it's about so much more. And kids need to learn that too.

Sorry for the long-windedness.

itsme · Oct 11, 2003

I need to clarify what I meant by our set schedule. First off, I am part time, I work 7 days a pay period, every other weekend. My days off just happen to be wednesday and thursday. That is the days of the week the holidays are on this year. I work 630 to 300, and some days (fridays) are 3-11. I dont get lucky enough to get all the holidays off every year, I too have worked too many xmas to count!! I do agree that whether or not you have kids doesnt matter when working a holiday. Everyone deserves to take weekend vacation or holiday every now and then!!!

uk_nurse · Oct 11, 2003

Originally posted by RN~in~CT
Are you suggesting that single people w/out children should always work Christmas so that those w/ kids can be home every Christmas?

I am saying most people who have replied to this post seem to be 'against' those who have children requesting xmas day off. I have worked the last 3 xmas days so no im not saying that at all. Most of the staff on my ward who have children work new years eve and day so those without children can go out and celebrate. The same question could be asked. Should those with children work every new years eve and day? I am just interested to see if their views change when they have children themselves. I frequently cover for single people to go out at weekends as i remember wanting to go out myself and i say you are only young once so make the most of it. There is life outside of the hospital. I too like going out weekends but sometimes i am unable to due to babysitters.

kae rn · Oct 11, 2003

I have kids too and am a new returning RN. I guess I look at the holiday being more than the day itself. My kids are kindergarten on up to high school. They know mom is working, and we work the holiday around my schedule. I teach my kids compassion for those who are less fortunate. Celebrating family time is more than the day itself.

As a new grad with young children I was not so happy about it. Spent a lot of holidays alone, sending the kids to spend time with grandparents. But as we age, we understand the true meaning of family. This year my family chose to stay back with me if I have to work. We work by seniority and more and likely I will be working. It is ok because I know I do good things at work, and my family knows that too.

Kae

fab4fan · Oct 11, 2003

I get sick of it, too. Try getting someone with kids to cover for you when you want off..."Oh, I can't, Peggy Sue has tap/piano/gymnastics/insert your excuse here..." Getting people with kids to cover for you is like pulling teeth.

I used to work all the holidays; now I take them just like everyone else. I don't care what I'm doing or not doing that day, I just want the day off.

You didn't ask my opinion when you decided to procreate, so don't make it my responsiblity to make life easy for you now that you have the kids. And if you didn't now about weekends/holidays as a student, you shouldn't have graduated. Who do you think cares for pts on the off hours...Elijah's ravens?

Rena RN 2003, RN · Oct 11, 2003

:chuckle

this thread is a riot.

has anyone ever not been inconvenienced by being asked to work when you aren't scheduled, regardless of the time of year or holiday?

we have a set holiday schedule. you are either on A, B, or C so that you work one winter holiday and one summer holiday once every 3 years. i don't get upset when someone with children asks me to work for them no more than i would get upset at a person with no children. i either answer yes or no and leave it at that. how else is a person to get a day off if it's not by asking around? and why should they not ask? there may just be someone out there that doesn't mind taking that day so that they can be with family.

i work with nurses that have been in the field 20+ years as well as new grads. i have yet to ever hear anyone of them say they "deserve" to have holidays off.

i guess it takes all kinds though.

SC RN, RN · Oct 11, 2003

Yes, I want Christmas off. My ex-husband has rights to our child on Christmas Eve Day til midnight and I have him on Christmas Day. In exchange, I'm willing to work Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Heck, thrown in Easter, 4th of July and any other holiday, too. I'll work them all.

And it's not single or childless people that I think should work Christmas. I think that people who don't think it's a special holiday, or those that don't mind working because they celebrate on Christmas Eve. Or split the shift with me! It's the 12 hours that kills me on Christmas.

So, yeah, I want Christmas off. This year, I was fortunate to get it off but I'm working almost all of the other holidays. No complaints from me. I'll cover anyone's needed time off anytime I'm able. I'll come in (like I am doing today) at 3pm to cover the last four hours of someone's shift who needs to study for a mid-term. I'll help out wherever I can. I just want Christmas off.

RNKPCE · Oct 11, 2003

On our floor we do a preference for Thanksgiving, Xmas eve, Xmas day, new years eve and day. It works out well for the most part. I work pm's lots of single people want NY off and those with kids xmas day or eve. They will rotate but with new staff that is hard. They don't consider kids but consider special circumstances. My father was terminally ill last Christmas, died less than 2 mos after xmas and I got Thanksgiving, Xmas eve and Xmas day off. Thank god compassion is also used.

Just be grateful it is not you or one of your loved ones in the hospital on these holidays.

roxannekkb · Oct 11, 2003

When I was working on a travel contract at one hospital, some of the nurses were adamant that people with children should get first dibs at Christmas. One nurse said to me, to the effect, "Why do you need Christmas off? You don't have kids."

Duh, I didn't realize that I had less of a right to Christmas than someone with a brood of toddlers. The hospital made people rotate, which was what the fuss was about. But that attitude, that some are more entitled than others, really burned me.

We all do the same job. We all are working under the same rules and protocols. Nursing is 24/7, and that includes everyone.

cannoli · Oct 11, 2003

Yes, it's that sense of entitlement.