Ok. I going to put myself "out there" with a problem that I have and I'm sure I'm going to be harshly judged for what I'm about to post; however, I'm doing this because I honestly need some help but most importantly for me, I want the help. I have had 7 different jobs in 7 years consecutively. Yes you read it right; 7 jobs in 7 years. Two of them have been worked simultaneously with two other jobs. Some I have quit and some I have been terminated; with the jobs that I have quit, I kind of felt like "the writing was on the wall" so I quit before I can be terminated. I have been told that I do really great work and that I am a really good nurse. On the flip side, I have been told by my superiors that I can be mean and have a bad attitude (not with my patients, their families or physicians). It usually takes my managers by surprise (so I've been told) when I react to certain situations. My reactions are always related to disrespect, suttle bullying by superiors, and attempts to publicly reprimand me in the presence of my coworkers. In all fairness, I have never been nor have I ever felt that I was "singled out." More often than not, their behavior is widely known and people just "accept" how they are. For me, I can't and I don't tolerate it; and of course, it hurts me in the long run. I truly practice "treat people the way you want to be treated." I never intentionally mistreat anyone "above" or "below" me; it's just not who I am. However, when a situation occurs and its done and over with, I personally feel like I have a insight to the type of person they are and I do all I can to avoid being their presence when possible because I know how being around them makes me feel and I don't want their negativity around me. I have stopped working days and have changed to weekend nights (I found I love nights) just to avoid the foolishness. It causes me to have anxiety about going to work and when I'm there, I do all I can to make sure everything is done "perfectly"; and sometimes I go above and beyond because I know that the buck has been passed all week and by the time I make it to work, if I don't do whatever has been passed on all week, I'll be the one who gets the call 1 hour after my shift along with a verbal reprimand and write up to accompany it.
In the grand scheme of things, my changing jobs so much is hurting me. My resume is a mess with regard to my work experience. When I look at it, I feel ashamed instead of proud. The only highlights to my resume are the many jobs I've had in such a "short" period of time which is a red flag for prospective employers. I can't take a job off of my resume because, it will cause "gaps" in my employment. When I do get called for an interview, I get ridiculously nervous and insecure when the interviewer is looking at my resume and questioning me about "why" I left said employers. I always keep it respectful, never bad mouth previous employers, and try to explain as brief as possible as to why employment ended. Needless to say, I don't interview well, even though I am qualified for the position I'm interviewing for. I have never had an interview where I felt like I "knocked it out the park."; they just go "ok." I have sometimes wondered why a facility would call me for an interview even though they've looked over my resume before they called me to schedule an interview with me. So more often than not, I end up working at not so good facilities that are "desperate" for nurses; which is where a lot of workplace drama occurs. Basically, I jump from the frying pan straight into the fire.....repeatedly.
I was told last night that "I have to learn how to play the game" and when I do, I will be fine. I don't play games with people personally or professionally because its childish. At this point, I don't know what to do anymore; which is the reason I have chosen to come to the nursing community for insight and support.
