Bullying at work, far commute... what to do??

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Hello fellow Nurses!

I am having a dilemma. I need your advice please. I am working for a hospital 2.5 hours away from home (long island), on a unit I thought I liked (psych) and I am currently being bullied by some staff. I never thought I would feel nervous and anxious to go to work. I cry a lot now and am irritable at home. I have never worked a night shift before taking this shift and that is taking a toll on me physically. I have been ill for a few months now since I started. I finally went to the doctor and they are testing me for lupus. The doctor told me flat out "you need to find another job very soon." I am exhausted 24/7 and don't want to do anything on my days off. I don't want to leave the house (depressed). I have not been diagnosed with depression and when I spoke with my doctor she said this is related to work. I will make 1 year of having nursing experience in 2 weeks.

I have interviewed at other facilities but don't like the pay cut some city hospitals offer (almost $10/hour less, still working nights). My boyfriend is supportive but I am the bread-winner. He works as a temp at a union company. I have a daughter who complains about not seeing me and it just breaks my heart. I leave my house aroung 4pm to be at work at 7pm, I have to take 2 buses, 2 trains and a cab, totaling about $650-$700/monthly.

One of the nurses on my unit has made me cry a few times. She is just nasty to me. I don't know what to do. I desperately want to change units and get something closer but the market is so bad right now and I don't want to make another decision regarding work.

I'm sorry for ranting and venting, I just don't know what to do. This is making question nursing and that breaks my heart because I absolutely LOVE taking care of my patients.

:(

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I'm sorry this is happening. Unfortunately, reporting incidents like this to management can sometimes make it worse. If you desire to continue working at this facility, however, you should report it. No one has the right to make you feel this way. It sounds to me like with all of your travel expenses, your pay cut at another hospital may not be as bad as you think. You will likely make less but maybe the overall benefit to you health would be worth it. Having less of a commute may give you more time to sleep, more time and energy to spend with your family, and maybe help improve your anxiety and depression.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

With the transportation costs....get a car. That may help decrease you commute time. If you are closer to home the pay cut maybe worth it. Lay it out in black and white to your daughter...If I take a lesser paying job...here is what you will have to sacrifice because there will be less money...let her choose.

But at the end of the day....what is important? Your health?

I have had a chronic auto-immune disease as well.....I preferred nights. But my family supported me and allowed me to sleep.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

This sounds absolutely awful. I would think that the pay cut wouldn't matter if your commute cost is less. Sometimes you have to sacrifice money for sanity.

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I am so sorry this is happening to you. Night shift is not for everyone. Bullying is never right.

If you are spending upwards of $700 a month on transportation, then it really would be not too much of a pay cut to make less money. You are coming up on a year of experience. With a history in psych, you could do a whole lot with that.

Are there any mental health centers, the VA, group pych residential homes, psych daycare centers/day programs? Skilled nursing that has a day program--has openings for case managers? Detox clinics? These are all within the realm of your psych experience, and would have more day hours.

You could also try Urgent care, the local schools, or an MD office.

The only other thought would be if a local hospital has a weekend only option. The pay would be less, however, sometimes has differentials. And maybe if you just work Fri/Sat/Sun nights, (or eves or days) then you would have all week.

Good luck in your endevours. Sometimes, what seems like less money is in the long run better for your health.

As a complete aside, if you make less money, would it then help you to apply for rental assistance, food stamps, health insurance and the like? If you are a single mother this also could be an option.

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Listen to your doctor. A pay cut is small price to pay for your sanity. Most of us who have had jobs from hell have taken pay cuts for a sanity-saving job.

A satisfied mom makes life at home better for your daughter. Boyfriend might be gone in a week, but the daughter is forever.

I wish you all the best.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

If you are staying for the money, then in effect you are paying them to make you miserable. Reframe your thoughts. What will happen to your family if you are too ill to work? And can't the boyfriend get another PT job to help out?

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Listen to your doctor. A pay cut is small price to pay for your sanity. Most of us who have had jobs from hell have taken pay cuts for a sanity-saving job.

A satisfied mom makes life at home better for your daughter. Boyfriend might be gone in a week, but the daughter is forever.

I wish you all the best.

^^^^^^^ I wish I could like this a thousand times. RNperdiem is right. Find a closer to home job, and take the pay cut. It wont be as bad as you think when you wont be spending $700 on transport costs.

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Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! Taking a pay cut and working close to home is something I will look into. My health and spending time with my daughter is more important. :)

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I'm hoping I find something by the new year.

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If you would find it easier to have the energy to stick it out at your present job, or a transfer to a different unit in that facility if you didn't have to endure the commute, take that $650 a month and get your own car. You can get a car payment plus insurance and gas for that, even on LI.

Have you discussed any of your problems with your management? You don't mention that you have done so. Your management has just put a year into orienting and training you and might be annoyed (not at you) to see it wasted if a few of your coworkers are a significant part of driving you away, especially if your evals have been good and you think the chances are good they'll do the same to the next newbie. Be brave enough to stand up for yourself and tell her. You have nothing to lose except harassment.

Realize that if you disclose your plan to leave, you might be asked to leave on the spot, so keep that in your back pocket, so to speak, until you see how that possibility works into your budget.

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If you would find it easier to have the energy to stick it out at your present job or a transfer to a different unit in that facility if you didn't have to endure the commute, take that $650 a month and get your own car. You can get a car payment plus insurance and gas for that, even on LI. Have you discussed any of your problems with your management? You don't mention that you have done so. Your management has just put a year into orienting and training you and might be annoyed (not at you) to see it wasted if a few of your coworkers are a significant part of driving you away, especially if your evals have been good and you think the chances are good they'll do the same to the next newbie. Be brave enough to stand up for yourself and tell her. You have nothing to lose except harassment. Realize that if you disclose your plan to leave, you might be asked to leave on the spot, so keep that in your back pocket, so to speak, until you see how that possibility works into your budget. [/quote']

Hi Grn Tea! Thank you for your feedback! I did discuss this issue with my manager a few months ago and she dismissed it then I was labeled "difficult" for saying something. To make it worse she's been working on the unit for years and the other nurses won't dare say anything about her. My manager throws her weight around and yells at staff whenever she feels like it. She has all the staff in fear of her. I'm also intimidated by her because of her actions. She fired someone a few months ago because she said they didn't fit well with the team but come to find out the nurse who bullies me got them fired. My hospital doesn't have a union so there's nobody to speak up for us. I haven't said anything about leaving. I've been trying to smile to the staff but I keep to myself because I don't know their intentions. I had an interview a few weeks ago in the city but didn't get it because the competition was more experienced. I'm currently still looking. I need a day job soon.

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