Bullying like I am back in middle school

[maxxilla]

...and I hated middle school. I recently started working in the operating room at a large hospital. The operating room is broken up into pods, so that we end up working with pretty much the same small group of people everyday. This can either work out to be highly enjoyable and efficient, or it can drive you to drink.

I find myself in the latter group, as well as being an unwilling cast member of "Mean Girls 2: The ******* are Back".

I am not new to OR nursing, but I am being either deliberately ignored or condescended to by scrubs and nurses, at least one of whom just graduated.

For example, one scrub will ignore me and wait until anyone else enters the room to ask for stuff. She then makes a big showy production of it by only addressing them by name, thanking them profusely as if no one else was willing to help her. Oftentimes I am less than 3 feet away and looking at her.

Others are less passive aggressive, and just act openly horrible towards me.

I have tried offering support (I am the "IT expert"), helping people out, and laying low. I have tried to be friendly and funny. They are not interested. I do not fit in: I am not in my twenties. You could trade me in for two of them.

I feel like I can't talk to my pod manager. All of the queen bees are buddies with him. Yesterday we had a mandatory meeting that no one told me about. Everyone gathered together, in front of me, and left for it (including the manager). I didn't find out until later where they were going.

I am desperate. I would love to leave, but my husband currently has a temporary and low- paying job. We barely make even the most basic ends meet.

[MommyandRN]

I've been there, done that. Bullying is widespread in nursing. At one job, it was okay for a while for me, while everyone else complained about it. Then I spoke up about something I didn't think was right. I was then bullied by a team of mean girls. I used to love that job and thought I would stay there until retirement. Instead I was driven out. I hear that there is still a lot of turnover there. It's a shame.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Leave. There is no hope. (I'm in a particularly negative mood)

They're going to run you off eventually. It's just a matter of how much damage they do to your reputation, and how painful it becomes.

You could fight the good fight for honor and decency, but it could take months, with absolutely no assurances the other nurses will ever accept you.

I like cm8816's advice.

I decided along time ago if I had to complain to management/state/BON about a facility where I worked, it wasn't a place I should be.

[debbiedippiedo]

Reading your post, I could say it sounds just like 'work place harassment'. Which it is!! You have 3 choices: 1) continue as is, 2). request a transfer to another department or 3) fight!!. I went through the same thing a few years ago. I have never quit a job, but in 5 weeks of returning to the job I had held for 7 years, I was so depressed, I could do nothing else but. Hind sight is great, but didn't help me. If you decide to fight, start now with keeping very accurate records/notes. Document dates/times/what happen & who was there. And then follow the chain of command. My problems was I did not keep notes, so upper management could do nothing. I have since left hospital work, less pay but much happier in my nursing career. You may at some point need to find a lawyer to help you sort through things. So now it depends on what you want to do. Good luck

[kc87t, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I feel like I'm the exact same position. I worked in the ER for 2 years and got along great with everyone...I never heard a negative word spoken to me from co-workers or management. Then I left and decided I was going to do travel nursing. After one assignment I hated it and wanted to go back home. My department manager said "sure, no problem"...and there I was back in my familiar setting. But ever since coming back its like I ****** someone off deep down and I have a huge target on my back. I can't tell you how many times I"ve been pulled into the office and gotten shouted out for my documentation. Some of what they point out to me is probably valid, but some of it is completely wrong and total bull crap. However, I will see time and time again my co-workers document the same way I do, don't document the same things I've been yelled at for, and nothing happens to them. They don't get pulled in the office and made to feel like crap. I have been told that "I'm the weakest link in the department, staff is requesting not to work with you, every complaint I've had in the past 6 months had your name on it, you're a liar, you make up your charting, and you're not trust-worthy". The root of all this is that one of the charge nurses and I do not like each other, AT ALL. However, we are polite and civil to each others faces, but she doesn't even blink an eye before throwing someone else under the bus. Instead of working together as a team to fix a problem we find it to be so much easier to put in a knife in someones back in my department. The atmosphere of when she's there as opposed to the other charge nurse is like night and day. When he's there we work together, we have a good time, we move pts, we have team work and get things done. When she's there no one speaks to each other, she has no problem letting and then watching us drown even if it means a negative outcome for the pt. And for me being so disliked and having people request not to work with me, per the manager there are at least 3 people I know of that have put in written requests not to work with her...people that will tell you such in person, but yet I've never heard someone say a negative word about me except management, who doesn't work with me at nights...what a concept. Workplace bullying spreads like wildfire, watch out

[PD82]

They all sound immature and do not believe in team work. Not all units are like that. You may just have to find something else that is a better fit, and makes you excited to go to work!

I am 31 and all the nurses I work with are in their late 40's, 50's; and I absolutely love them!! They are smart, reliable, and have great stories/experiences to share with me. We are a great team.

Good luck with everything!

[Nurse&Proud00]

I just started checking out this site again and this topic made my hair stand up. I had my own version of this experience. I was working at a job I loved and had a few people I was friendly with....but too many who decided they didn't like me.

I had previously worked in a position at a very big, well known hospital in the medical center in the big town nearby and one of the first comments in Unit Orientation I heard was "so I guess you think you're here to FIX us, huh?"...I hadn't even told anyone my work history!..so where did that come from?

it was so frustrating and upsetting. Some days were OK but it seemed like every day had something that made my gut clench. It seemed I couldn't do anything right and even though I had doctors saying good things about me and patients writing nice notes it was not getting better. I tried to talk to the charge nurse and then the manager about what they needed for me to do, how I could improve, the situation and I basically got a BS response every time...including "concerns about my skills"....puzzling because I had gotten a Recognized Clinician award at my job less than 12 months before.

Then one weekend I went to give an injection and a finished to find one of the Mean Girls watching me. The next day I was called into the manager's office to find that nurse, the charge nurse and manager all sitting there. I asked "what is this about?" and was told I was being written up with a final warning because of my "lack of basic nursing skills".

When I asked "WHAT????" I was told that I was observed giving an IM injection into the patient's side, missing the gluteal. I sat there for awhile in shock, not knowing what to say. Finally, I choked out "Of course not, I was using the Ventrogluteal site, the one you use for large volume injections so as to not cause excessive bleeding or pain". You know...I think they had no idea what I was talking about!!!

So, you can probably guess that I turned in my resignation within a very short time.

I wish I could tell you that I thought this kind of situation could be repaired but I just don't think it can. I do think it doesn't hurt to go to HR but if you do you need to first go through departmental management. But even better, you need documentation with dates and specific details-- and a plan to move to another job very quickly!

What's particularly dangerous is that these kind of situations could end up with a report about you to the BON. I saw that writing on the wall whn they wrote me up because none of them knew how to do a ventrogluteal injection and they had already decided they didn't like me and that I was a bad nurse.

[monkeybug]

I just started checking out this site again and this topic made my hair stand up. I had my own version of this experience. I was working at a job I loved and had a few people I was friendly with....but too many who decided they didn't like me.

.

Reading your post made my heart hurt. I've been in a similar situation. I had many years of experience in L&D and High Risk Maternity, and I was hired into a different hospital in their NICU. I assumed that NICU nurses were like other Maternal Child nurses I'd worked with all across the country--warm, friendly, caring, and team-oriented. The reality couldn't have been further from this. Orientation was somewhat ok because I got along well with my preceptor and we tended to keep to ourselves. I was to do several weeks on days with her, and then move to nights and work with a preceptor on that shift. My first night on 7p-7a, I was left all alone on one side of the room (I was shocked to see all the other nurses "abandon" their babies so that they could go gossip at the desk). I was asked by all of them to watch their kids. The NICU at that time was one very large room with a tall counter running down the middle. So I basically ran from one end of the room to another checking on babies while laughter and whispers alternated from the desk. And then I heard "What did Manager have to hire her for?" "I know! We're getting low censused, we don't need her! And she's fat, too! I bet she's lazy." I wanted to slink out and never come back, but of course I couldn't because I was, at that moment, the only nurse apparently caring for about 9 babies. And that night set the tone for the rest of my year there. My night shift preceptor was awful. Every question was met with an eye roll and a sigh. Once my orientation was over, it was often difficult to get help when I was swamped. I had to force the issue to get to have a lunch break. There were a few really sweet girls that I got to work with, and there were some that were at least neutral. The mean girls were just awful, though. My evaluations were fine, though, so I thought I could tough it out until I earned their respect. I was getting sicker and sicker from the stress, and I was starting to miss more and more days. Management had been supremely unhelpful as far as the hostile environment was concerned (I was told that ICU nurses were a tough crowd, and to get a thicker skin). 1 month after a very good evaluation I was pulled into the managers office and told that my future there was very uncertain because my nursing skills were unsatisfactory. Which ones? I questioned. "All of them" I was told. ALL of them? Including diapering, bottle feeding, and swaddling (those are, after all, skills in the NICU, too). ALL of them, the manager reiterated. Well, what about that great evaluation? Well, they'd had high hopes for me, but I was such a disappointment. I managed to get a transfer to L&D within a week.

The worst part? When their census was very high and ours was low, their manager would ask to borrow me, and if given any option at all, I would refuse. My manager (no angel herself) would chide me about it, but I would remind her that I had been a supreme disappointment to that manager, and I would hate to burden them with my presence. No thank you, I'd prefer to take low census. I made it even more difficult on them by having my neurologist send a note to HR and employee health stating that I absolutely could not be in the room with bili lights, and I most certainly could not care for a baby under lights. Half the time when they tried to pull me, I would serenely smile and say, "Oh, so sorry, I can't have any of the babies you've assigned me. Check with HR!" Treat me like crap and see if I try to make it easy on you.

That was the absolute worst year of my life, and it just about did me in. I would cry on the way to work, and cry on the way home. I would cry at home. I felt worthless all the time. Their torture exacerbated my chronic illness, causing me to miss shifts, causing them to treat me even worse, trapping me in a vicious cycle. All because they were the cool kids and I was the new girl.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I've been there, done that. Bullying is widespread in nursing. At one job, it was okay for a while for me, while everyone else complained about it. Then I spoke up about something I didn't think was right. I was then bullied by a team of mean girls. I used to love that job and thought I would stay there until retirement. Instead I was driven out. I hear that there is still a lot of turnover there. It's a shame.

Dang Mommy and RN.".I've been there, done that".. has been taken

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

Man I feel you. I'm in a similar situation and feel like an outcast. I'm at the point where I won't speak to most of my coworkers unless it is work-related and one makes it a point to make me feel like I don't belong. At this point, lay low and just remember that you're there for the money not for friends.

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

Follow the chain of command and talk to them and flat out ask what the problem is. Many times that makes them catch themselves and correct the behavior. If that doesn't solve anything then move up the chain of command and do it very professionally with specific situations, conversations including date and times as well as people present.

You have to put an end to it and if your manager doesn't do anything because they are friends then he condones what he permits and you need to continue up the chain of command.

What a ridiculous situation. Much luck.