Bullying like I am back in middle school

[maxxilla]

...and I hated middle school. I recently started working in the operating room at a large hospital. The operating room is broken up into pods, so that we end up working with pretty much the same small group of people everyday. This can either work out to be highly enjoyable and efficient, or it can drive you to drink.

I find myself in the latter group, as well as being an unwilling cast member of "Mean Girls 2: The ******* are Back".

I am not new to OR nursing, but I am being either deliberately ignored or condescended to by scrubs and nurses, at least one of whom just graduated.

For example, one scrub will ignore me and wait until anyone else enters the room to ask for stuff. She then makes a big showy production of it by only addressing them by name, thanking them profusely as if no one else was willing to help her. Oftentimes I am less than 3 feet away and looking at her.

Others are less passive aggressive, and just act openly horrible towards me.

I have tried offering support (I am the "IT expert"), helping people out, and laying low. I have tried to be friendly and funny. They are not interested. I do not fit in: I am not in my twenties. You could trade me in for two of them.

I feel like I can't talk to my pod manager. All of the queen bees are buddies with him. Yesterday we had a mandatory meeting that no one told me about. Everyone gathered together, in front of me, and left for it (including the manager). I didn't find out until later where they were going.

I am desperate. I would love to leave, but my husband currently has a temporary and low- paying job. We barely make even the most basic ends meet.

[maxxilla]

I certainly did not mean to come across as arrogant. I do not feel like an expert. In anything. That was simply what I was told as a reason for my hiring.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I would honestly go up and ask them what's up? It sounds like there was some kind of miscommunication. But I don't know if I would go as far as to call it bullying. People just throw this term around these days when people don't get along. Not all personalities are going to mesh. That's the reality of the world. Not everyone likes me and I don't like everybody. When you get down to it, it's a job. You are there to earn a paycheck, nothing more. I would go in, do my job and leave. If their actions are bothering you that much, talk to them about it. What happened to the days when people actually communicated and got the problem solved. Now people say, I'm being bullied and run to the internet. I am not trying to downplay your feelings, but you need to talk to these people.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I disagree with just going to management without attempting to work it out first. Any manager worth their salt is going to ask you what you have done to resolve the problem prior to coming to them. Just playing the victim without attempting any direct communication with your coworkers does not reflect favorably on you.

I also disagree with the idea that you just go to work to earn a paycheck, so it's not important whether people get along or not. Getting along is the glue that holds the team together. When people don't get along, there is poor teamwork, and it's the patient who suffers.

[chiapas1]

To Maxxilla:

I understand completely what you went through. I was recently bullied and walked away from a job paying >$90K (including weekend and night differentials). Management treated me like I was a nursing student recently, took me off my shift and put me on the Day shift to be supervised by LPN's. I am an RN of 17 years and only made a few errors which did not even reach any patient; those same medication errors could have been made by anyone and overlooked as a mishap that almost didn't happen. It is far better to step down from a hostile environment and seek happiness elsewhere even if it means a decrease in pay, because, in the end, longevity and happiness win.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I certainly did not mean to come across as arrogant. I do not feel like an expert. In anything. That was simply what I was told as a reason for my hiring.

They're probably jealous.

Are you saying you circulate while being IT Expert? I'm confused.

OR is known to be peopled by ------ from Hell. Dish it right back at them. Make yourself look good at their expense.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I disagree with just going to management without attempting to work it out first. Any manager worth their salt is going to ask you what you have done to resolve the problem prior to coming to them. Just playing the victim without attempting any direct communication with your coworkers does not reflect favorably on you.

I also disagree with the idea that you just go to work to earn a paycheck, so it's not important whether people get along or not. Getting along is the glue that holds the team together. When people don't get along, there is poor teamwork, and it's the patient who suffers.

I respectfully disagree. I do not go to work to attempt to work anything out with co-workers who have behavioral issues. That the team is not held together by the work ethics of others is not something I can control. I have no power to do anything about it. And when one begins to even have the most sane conversation with people who act like they are 12, well, that either goes no where fast or then one gets in hot water for being "confrontational".

There are people higher on the food chain that get paid to do their job as well. And part of that job is to ensure patient safety and a tolerable work enviroment. People like this get away with such outlandish behaviors because they can. It has got to come from the top.

And an IT "expert" is what other facilities call a "super-user" --there are many names. Point is that they are the go to people with computer issues. Managers think that these fancy names are quirky and cute, but mostly they are a bit "dramatic". Unless someone wants to pay me more to be a "expert". Then they can slap a rainbow over my head and call me queen of the may.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I certainly did not mean to come across as arrogant. I do not feel like an expert. In anything. That was simply what I was told as a reason for my hiring.

Now we are getting to the root cause. You were told your IT expertise was a reason for being hired?

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

I can see this going one of three ways if you confront your co-workers... 1. They will back down. 2. They will become worse and try to sabotage your work. 3. They will go to your manager and say you are confrontational yourself.

I am an Assistant Nursing Care Manager and I have seen all 3 of these scenarios play out when someone tries to take matters into their own hands. My advise for all it's worth, is to go speak to your Manager, if he/she does not address your concern take it to the person that they report to.

Be very specific when you talk to your Manager, things like, "They don't talk to me." or "They ignore me." really aren't specific enough and makes you look like you are just a complainer. I do agree with a PP if you want to grab attention use big words, Harassment, Patient Safety, Horizontal Violence.

I am sorry you are going through this and I hope it all works out for you.

[maxxilla]

Now we are getting to the root cause. You were told your IT expertise was a reason for being hired?

Yes. I was a super user at the last two facilities I worked at, as well as being one of the people to work on conversion to a new system, programming it etc.

[cm8816]

These ******** must all use the same playbook. I had a similar (actually almost exact behaviors) done to me as a new hire in an ICU. I literally tried everything. I was being set up on routine basis. I went to HR finally and HR turned it around on me. I found a new job and left after 2 weeks. I felt that had I stayed, I would be set up in a way to possibly lose my license.

I think age has something to do with it. I was older than most of them and I was also better educated. I had heard them berating an older nurse when I first got there and soon, she was gone. I didn't know it then, but I was next.

NEVER, and I mean NEVER go to HR. They're not there for you, they are there to prevent you from suing the hospital.

My advice, find another job NOW and get out.

[RNlove17]

I wouldn't even confront them, just look for a new job. In my experience, once people have decided to be nasty to you - nothing will change that. Lie low, do your job as best you can, and go home. Look for something else so you're not miserable and in case they start trying to sabotage you to get you fired

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Are you using these skills in your current position?

Is your facility going to EPIC and the staff is unhappy about THAT?