Bullies in the workplace

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 18, 2003

Wow, Nanna, I am impressed. Don't know if I would have the stamina to fight it out like you did. Is it really worth the battle, stress, confrontations, knowing somebody is constantly watching you, out to get you? Some bullies are dangerous. Isn't it better just to leave? Sad managers and DON's allow this crap to go on. One bad apple in the bunch can run off the best nurses on the unit and cause constant high turnover.

Nurse Nanna · Jul 18, 2003

Stamina? Ladybug, it ain't easy, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Take a deep breath, talk to Him and then go for it. My background helps. I was the oldest of 7 children, was in a very abusive relationship and after a serious injury, was able to "get out" of the marriage and get into therapy. I had a wonderful friend who led me 'back' to the Lord. I was a single mom for several years, working and going to school, and staying involved in my childrens education and activities both as an observer and a leader when time allowed that luxury. I went through a lot of therapy off and on in my younger years. After a few years, I married a wonderful, ambitious, professional man. I owned my own business for 12 years and I attended many many conferences, workshops, etc. on professionalism, how to train and maintain professional employees and obtain the highest quality of performance from them. I had a wonderful staff who respected me and my work ethic and the courtesy I extended to them for a job well done. I "study" a person well before I form an opinion, and tend to "think things through" before making a decision on "how to handle the situation". I am a wife, mother, and grandmother, all of which I have succeeded and fulfilled to His requirements. I am a Christian and a loving and patient person who "loves" to take care of others. The Lord led me to nursing. I have been told by professors and mentors that "you are a natural, you make it look so easy." I am not patting myself on the back, because I don't see this as anything special. Two months out of nursing school, I was waived from the 90 day probationary period after having been floated all over the facility in various positions to "fill in if you feel comfortable you can do it". I never had a problem "filling the position or completing the task" offered to me for the shift. I said from the beginning, use me where you need me. I was promoted (after that two months) to full time charge nurse and given my own unit of 60 patients, with 1 medicine nurse, and 2 to 4 nurse aides per shift; the managers, director, and administrator were always complimenting and praising me: "Lady, you have really turned that unit around 1000%! How in the world did you turn those aides around?" I answered with these brief words: "professional courtesy and mutual respect; I lead by example - TEAM WORK." Other nurses in the facility who had been there before me, some for years, really took offense at being "passed over" and told me so. One nurse told me "Who the hell do you think you are little miss perfect? You are making the rest of us look bad and we don't like it!" My response to her: "No hon, I'm not perfect, there was only one perfect person ever, and He died for our sins and I am doing my best to do His will; I'm sorry **** but the only person that can make you look bad is you and you're doing a real good job right now." Wow!!! Did I say that? She threw the ink pen she had been waving in my face and stomped off mad as hell. The facility administrator called me in the next day and asked what had happened between me and *****. "Oh," she said; "I heard the story a little different, but how was that perceived as 'pushing religion' in her face?" All the nurse's on my unit and shift were Christians. I held a brief unit meeting one afternoon (right after report) after I had made that realization and we all got the biggest kick out of it. Every nurse, from the aides to the RN's were Christians and practiced His word, some of them carrying small pocket Bibles in their lab coats. We had about every denomination on earth, but we all shared one God. We went to the director and administrator with this discovery. The director, who is a Christian also stated, "Praise His Name! That's why your unit runs so smoothly and efficiently and the patients and families love all of you. Did you know, *****, we have less complaints and lower incidents on your unit and shift than anywhere else in the facility? We have all been observing you for months and have been trying to figure out what your secret was so we could bottle it and sell it. Now we know, it's the most simple thing, The Bible." Wow!! I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or feel paranoid - they all had been observing? Thank you Jesus for keeping me honest. HaHa. But really, did that ever make our day, week, month. Word got out in the facility and needless to say, little miss ink pen came again and let me know how she felt. I told her "I'm sorry you feel that way; I'll pray for you." Whoa! She let me HAVE IT! "Don't you start that religion shit on me!" I turned and walked away and she slammed the door. And she wonders why after 17 years, she's still being passed over for any leadership position. Maybe some anger management classes. Sad thing, she is a very knowledgable nurse, but she has a nasty, hateful, attitude. My evaluations included comments like: professional appearance, leadership and attitude; excellent assessment and observation skills; practices 'holistic' care; sharp attention to detail; communicates well with staff and clients; well liked and respected by her peers; ALWAYS willing to go above and beyond the call of duty, not only for her unit but for the facility as well; diligent and meticulous. Like I said, I'm not patting myself on the back, I was raised with this type of work ethic and it is "just the way it is." But it does "feel good" to hear it or see it on your evaluation. When you see other people that are 'here for a paycheck' or 'puttin' in my time and gettin' out of here' and they don't give a rats behind about the way they look, the way they act or treat other people and the sloppy treatment of their patients, it makes you wonder what the world is coming to. There are a LOT of excellent, professional nurses out there and I have been fortunate and blessed to have had a few of them to mentor me and show me the ropes. I also strongly believe that the workplace is 'no place' for friends. Friendly and friends are two different things. When you get two or three or four nurses who "are friends" and "team up" against another nurse due to plain old green-eyed jealousy, they can make life pretty miserable. As much as you'd like to "ignore" them, sometimes it just can't be done. What I can't understand is: "where do they find the time for all this crap.?" I hit the floor running and usually stay after my shift to complete paperwork because my patients CARE is my #1 priority!. Some of these ladies are at the time clock 15 minutes before the end of the shift (uh, report?) waiting for the earliest minute they can punch out. They say they do report at the timeclock while the oncoming shift is waiting to punch in. What about confidentiality, accuracy? Anyway, like I said, THE PATIENT AND HIS/HER CARE IS THE #1 PRIORITY, and when you have people carrying on with the gossip, harrassment of other nurses, and bullying people around, any way you cut it, the patient is NOT receiving the quality of care he/she deserves. BECOMING A NURSE IS A CAREER CHOICE, NOT SOMETHING FORCED ON US; AREN'T WE OBLIGATED BY HUMAN DECENCY TO PROVIDE THE "BEST" CARE WE CAN POSSIBLY GIVE. Thanks for letting me vent.

night owl · Jul 18, 2003

Originally posted by VickyRN
I had a clinical on a floor this past spring that was just out of hell. The whole floor was full of bullies!!! One of the nurses there made one of my students cry (she was so mean), she also cursed at another student. They all ganged up on me and made me feel like the most inept, incompetent instuctor ever. I was sooo sooo close to quitting teaching after this bitter experience, but God have me the grace to rise above it. Hopefully, I won't ever have to return to that floor again :). Thankfully, all of my other clinical experiences have been great.

They even bullied the instructor... Pheeeeeeeeew, that is really pathetic! I guess they really don't care who they run into. When will people learn that alittle respect will go alooooong way?

Every nursing school should have a required course, "Bullying 101," How to recognize the workplace bully, different types of bullying and what makes bullies do the things they do? And "Bullying 102" How to deal with the workplace bully, sticking up for yourself, bullying and the law. That way the students aren't thrown into it without some knowledge of it. Then, just to remind employees that it is inappropriate behavior and against the law, mandatory inservices should be given every year just like sexual harrassment inservices. I think bullying is way more prevelent than sexual harrassment and yet, most of the time, it's swept under the rug. Hold people accountable!Let the facility send the message to their employees that they mean business and this behavior WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

H ynnoD · Jul 18, 2003

I'll listen to someones suggestion.Will give a hand and also take one,But if your not my Boss don't try and tell me what to do.I'll be nice about it,but if you start to become a pain,I'll tell you something like, Bite Me... :eek:

ERRN5778 · Jul 18, 2003

I have had similar experiences from which I think I have been a vicitim of being bullied. For one, while I was getting report about a particular patient from another nurse, this patient had just gotten new onset of Afib HR 150s, was febrile, and anxious. All she had done was give him tylenol. She did not call the doctor nor give him an antianixety med. Needless to say, after looking at the EKG strip, this episode started nonetheless 10 minutes before the end of her shift. So I was expected to handle this situation eventhough it started on her shift. I was new and she was an old "expericenced" nurse. So I really didn't know how to stand up for myself. Thankfully, the doctor was not upset at me, and ordered cardizem and other things. Mind you I had 5 other patients to assess that morning so you can imagine how hectic that morning was. Thankfully, by mid morning things had resolved. Unbelievable huh?

Nurse Nanna · Jul 18, 2003

I am soooo sorry there are so many bullies out there and that there are some who even have the audacity to "bully an instructor." Sounds like the one I had to deal with. She was constantly nit-picking and gossiping about the LPN and RN instructors on our floor; personally, I was thrilled to have the assistance from the students, who for the most part were very eager to learn. She seemed to think that she was qualified to make a judgment and verbalize her opinion on which students would make it and which ones wouldn't. She is just a "nasty" person. But, like I said before, she and the manager had been friends and worked the floor together for many years. The manager's answer to "everybody's" complaints about this bully was "Oh, God, that again, why can't you all just ignore her. That's just the way she is. She really doesn't mean anything by it; she's just bossy!" What a shame though that anyone, especially an instructor has to put up with that crap. But, good for you for standing up to it. Thank God for his Precious Son and His strength to push us forward to do His will. I agree that there should be at least ways some type of training for students r/t bullies and how to handle them before they get out of school and face them on the floor. We had so many "new" nurses walk off the floor in tears, go home in tears, transfer to other units, and quit nursing completely because of this bully. It is a sad shame that someone goes through nursing school and graduates and gets a license, only to quit because of someone like that. Some people just don't have the strength to stand up to these bullies. I am an older person (in my 50's) and I've seen a lot of crap in my time, but I have to admit that even this one catches me off-guard. You just don't expect it somewhere as "professional" and "busy" as a medical facility. God Bless you and the many others who have the courage and strength to stand up to it. We are so desperately "short" of nurses in this country and bullies are running them off everyday. Seems that someone with authority would get the picture after while and put a stop to it.

layna · Jul 18, 2003

Bullying is harassment. Plain and simple. We all need to remeber that we are at work to take care of patients like professional adults. Report the behavior to your manager if you are unable to deal with it yourself. If your manager asks you for documentation of the inappropriate behavior, please do not be afraid to do so. If you need extra help, there are several courses out there on how to deal with difficult co-workers etc.

Good luck!

Nurse Nanna · Jul 19, 2003

I did report to 4 managers with no action from any of them-excuses and/or advise to "ignore it", then to the director of nursing whose answer was ALWAYS "rise above it, you're better than to let it get to you" with no action, and then to the administrator who refers everything back to the director. At one time I demanded a "group" meeting with all parties involved and took each person "face" on with "what is the problem?" Of course the answer (as with a coward or bully), "There's no problem, I don't know what you're talking about." When I related a certain situation or conversation, this person nervously looked around the room and shook her head, and with plenty of body language, denied knowing what I was talking about. The director asked me, "Could it be that you two just have a communication problem or a personality conflict?" Gee, I thought my evaluation said "communicates well with peers and supervisors, well liked by staff, patients, and family members." End of meeting. Director states "as long as she denies any wrong-doing or any knowlege of what you're stating, it's non-actionable. Get me documentation with dates, times, and incidents." I documented actions, conversations, bullying, harrassment, gossip, patient abuse and neglect which is a matter of opinion and perception of the situation I was told----I go "BY THE WRITTEN BOOK." Again, denial. Then I get called in and asked to see my nurse's notebook (I was 1 of only 2 nurses in the facility who used a nurse's notebook - the other nurse was trained by me when coming to my unit.) I gave it to the director and asked "what's going on now? why am I here?" The bully reported me for 'taking notes from patient charts, and making notes on other employees and taking them out of the facility." This was not true. I did write down my accuchecks, VS, pt shift notes, etc and I did my paperwork at the end of the shift (I was the charge nurse) and I recorded info in the charts, made notes in the nurse's files and then shredded the notebook pages after everything was recorded. 90% of the time, I stayed after the next shift came on and did this. I was told by the DON that I needed to be careful what I wrote down and it was a breach of confidentiality and a breach of privacy for me to carry anything out of the facility in a notebook. I DID NOT DO THIS! Since the bully was one of the people standing at the time clock 15-20 minutes before end of shift, I don't know how she or anyone else would "know" it if I had done that. Of course, the director came around on a regular basis to check my notebook and I finally refused to show it to her anymore stating "everything I put in this notebook (which is MINE) goes into the permanent records, so I prefer that you go look at the facility records and let me get on with my work. I don't have time for this crap." She corrected me by saying "this stuff." Now that pissed me off. She was always catching me in a room and come in a closing the door and asking to take a peek at my notebook and then standing in front of the door. One day I told her "You're standing in front of the door and you need to move so I can go out and take care of my patients. If you continue to stand there and block the door, then you are holding me against my will and that is not only against corporate policy, but it is "a form of kidnapping or bondage and is punishable by law." She moved and never said a word. That was the last time she asked to look at my notebook. Next thing, someone (after investigation was complete-90 days of hell later-guess who the complainant was?) reported me to the State for 'patient abuse'. Anonymously of course - but after a couple of other nurses came forward and admitted they had over-heard this bully and two other nurses (who "hate" so and so) talking about what they had done, the Director called and asked the State to send the investigator back to the facility to "follow-up" on a couple of things she had. The audio tape of the report was brought into play, the CEO and everybody else was brought into the picture and the tape was listened to by Human Resources, the DON, Administrator, and the investigator and determined that it indeed was the "bully" and one of her 'friends'. Of course, it was a HUGE PLUS that both my patient and the spouse vehemently denied that ***** had ever been anything but professional and caring to both of them. But, it was a lengthy, expensive for the facility, and fraudulent report to the state. The 'friend' who actually made the call was given the opportunity to "resign". However, she went to work for another medical facility. Go figure. Meanwhile, my life was a wreck for over 3 months. You just don't know why some people are so nasty and to what lengths they will go to "make your life hell." After two years of this hell and misery, I quit and went to another facility; the directors response to my resignation--"well, I have talked you into staying before, but I know how unhappy you are and that you and *****will never see eye to eye, so I'm not going to try to stop you this time." I walked out and said "NOTHING!" She did try to prolong my last day, but I stuck to the 30 days and I was out of there. Here we are now 3 years later, and guess what? The bully is still there, still has been passed over several times for promotions, and is still bullying new nurses around until they leave. Kind of makes you wonder where the real problem lies doesn't it. Throughout the system, people talk about the problems in that facility and conclude that the primary problem is a DON who does not enforce corporate policy and an Administrator who refers everything back to the DON and here we go round and round. It is frustrating. You go above the administrator and it always, as you all know, rolls back downshill again. So each step you go up the COC, it's a whole new process until you say "I'm out of here. What's the point." That's why I'm back in school and will try my best to obtain a position where "I Can And Will Make A Difference" not only in the patient's care and life, but in the life of a nurse who is busting her buns to do a good job and being harrassed miserably. It's a dirty job, but somebody HAS to do it. I know nurses from California to Virginia and North and South, literally all over the USA and I hear the same old "floor war stories" from everyone. It just sounds crazy that people in position and authority to "stop" this crap 'choose' to do nothing. Once, when the DON asked me "What can we do about this problem?" and I responded, "when someone is this unprofessional and this unresponsive to attempts to resolve the problem(s), you need to get rid of them." Her response, "OK, say I do that, say I fire her; you know the situation, there are NO nurses, we are in a desperate nursing shortage, HOW do you plan to replace her?" I again, said, "Well, no disrespect intended, but is YOUR job and responsiblity, not mine." She told me to leave her office. Like I said, the bully is still there, a little over 5 years at this facility.

mattsmom81 · Jul 19, 2003

I can totally relate Nurse Nanna. Had one of these types go after me in the same way, with much the same results...I overcame and moved on, but it was a draining process. Amazing how these types worm their way into the management's hearts...probably by being a snitch for them.

And like you, my strength to get through my ordeal came from elsewhere too...it would have been easy for me to give up but my faith got me through. :)

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 19, 2003

This is exactly my point, Nurse Nanna. It is too dangerous professionally to battle it out with these sickos. Best to leave the facility where there is rampant bullying going on. IMHO, it is not worth the stress. Some battles should be fought and others are not worth fighting. I trust in the Lord also and firmly believe that He is my defense and my protector.

nowplayingEDRN · Jul 19, 2003

I might add that it is common to see bullying in the nursing profession in the critical care areas where things are high strung. the competition to be better than your co-worker seems to be very prevelant. Unfortunate because things go better all the way around when we work as a team.

H ynnoD · Jul 19, 2003

Document everything and file harassment Charges with the Labor board.They will be forced to do something about it as long as you stand your ground and not give in.Seen it happen at my work a few times.Its very serious issue and the company can't ignore it once the labor board is involved.The company has the burden to prove if the charges are true or false to the satisfaction of the labor board and you.....