Bullies in the workplace

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 8, 2003

Yes they are out there. As a charge nurse I try to stop them in their tracks when I see them picking on coworkers. Good luck.

gizzy76 · Jul 8, 2003

Personally, I find a lot of bullies to be people with a lot of insecurities about themselves and bullying is their way of maintaining control and making themselves feel better. Unfortunately, they do not have the ability to admit their mistakes.

Milehighnurse · Jul 8, 2003

Originally posted by ainz
I think that if you accept yourself, you are at peace with yourself, you are confident with your place in life, and you are positive, it shows to those around you. People are attracted to people that make them feel good about themselves. If you are one of those people, you will have supportive colleagues.

That is exactly what a bully targets. And this is what happened to me. I had been there just short of 2 years, she had been there 15 and was jealous over the fact that I was getting programs implemented, changes made to ease the burden on the nursing staff, basically she apparently didn't appreciate sharing the spot light (she's the type with a big mouth and a temper to back it up). What she did was to take a shift of mine and write me up for everything she thought I did wrong. When I got called into my supervisors office and was told of the complaints I was shocked. I stood my ground and replied to everyone of her complaints, with documentation. My supervisor said they would have to look into it and he'd get back to me. After about a week of thingking about this I resigned. This witch, this bully, was a 3-11 nurse who relieved me off of days, so I knew that there would be more "fun" to come. I told my super that if they thought for one moment that I was going to put up with this they were dead wrong. She's been there so long she thinks she owns the place, and how it runs, and management lets her get away with this stuff. That's fine, but I refuse to play the game.

tommycher · Jul 8, 2003

I just graduated from nursing school in May, and work as a nurse on the same floor I had been the CNA on. There is one nurse on night shift, whom I had always thought was great, but now that I seem to always have to give her report, it turns into an interrogation, and she has gone over all my documentation with a fine tooth comb before I have even completed my charting for the day. So, by the time I give her report, all she does is ask questions, and tries to make me feel insecure. And I hate that it is working!!! But I did not realize until reading in here today that it is a form of bullying and disrespect. Think I will look at things differently now. Thank you!!!

Rapheal · Jul 8, 2003

Great posts. Love the suggestion about a support group. I think sometimes a decsion needs to be made about if we are willing to be disliked or willing to be a victim. Hard choices.

live4today, RN · Jul 8, 2003

Perhaps it's time for nurses to begin wearing tiny cameras on their lapels OUT IN THE OPEN where they can be easily detected to capture the events of their day. There also needs to be sound to capture the conversations. What better proof, right?

carcha · Jul 9, 2003

actually i forgot to say yesterday, what really pisses me off is when u go to work somewhere and they expect u to know something, like all hospitals are alike in every respect. then when u do something not necessarily wrong but different to what they do there is a line up a mile wrong to tell u that u did it "wrong", that really PISSES ME OFF. is that a form of bullying?

night owl · Jul 9, 2003

It's a shame this has to happen in a profession where people are supposed to be so caring toward the sick, the injured and the infirmed and many times the bullies are great with the patients, but they turn around and can be so cruel, spiteful and malicious to their fellow coworker. It is a control thing and it seems to happen, at least in my experiences, to the more quieter, reserved, non confrontational type nurses, ones who can be easily intimidated and/or to new and younger nurses who are just starting out in our field. What's more of a shame is that we've lost many good nurses because of these bullies. The victims are pushed to the point where they wind up transfering to another unit or they quit altogether to work at another facility where unfortunately they go through the same thing, but sometimes not if they are lucky enough to find a place that has no bullies.

One step in learning how to deal with the bully is learning how to become more assertive. Taking an assertive training class is a step in the right direction. Learning how to recognize the bully early enough so that you don't become the next target is another. During your nursing career you will eventually come across a bully one way or another and for those with more experience, you need to help the newbies out by standing up for them when you see them being bullied. It's a team effort so that instead of losing the better nurses to these control freaks, we need to drive the control freaks off our units. I feel that bullies in the workplace contribute to the nursing shortage, and that we don't need.

God save the victim!

Love-A-Nurse · Jul 9, 2003

i hate to see this happen to anyone. i am usually the one who "sticks" up for those who are being bullied.

Mira · Jul 9, 2003

Brilliant idea Gwenith.

Sometimes I feel bad fighting the bullies(it takes a lot of nerves facing them,and at times my concentration is diminishing because of hatred) but at the end of the day,I don`t go to work to please them.

funnygirl_rn · Jul 9, 2003

I hear ya Psyko Rn....it is more & more prevalent each day. I am a non confrontational person...but learning as I get older...how to handle bullies more effectively. However, I often choose to ignore them....because I end up getting upset...and why get upset & ruin my day over some nasty hag's cattiness., but as I said...I am learning. In my opinion..I find women far the worse as opposed to men.

Night Owl..thanks for the web-site. It is VERY informative...I am printing some of the info & fowarding the site to my friends.

Milehighnurse · Jul 9, 2003

I was wondering if facilities have a clue about how bullying is driving nurses out the door. We are oriented and reminded about "workplace violence, harrassment..etc" but do they know about the bullying? Do they even know what bullying is? Curious.

Thanks again to all for your support and stories. I HATE to hear that this has happened to others but I am glad to know that I am not alone-you get to feeling that way when it has happened to you.