bullies succeed?

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I read a thread here suggesting that in the field of nursing, the agressive, loud, and obnoxious usually are the ones who make it through. I find it true not only in this field but in most aspects of human endeavors. I am basically nice, intelligent, hardworking, and I let my actions speak for myself rather than blowing my horn. I don't gossip about my co-workers or make them look bad to the others, especially to the boss. I have had several jobs in various fields before I took up nursing and I excel in my jobs. I didn't have problems with managers since they recognized my good works and they gave me fair treatment.However, I tend to be somewhat always in "trouble" with some co-workers wherever I go. They seem to find every reason to get into my nerves and make me feel bad even if I stay away from them and just did what I'm supposed to do. These people are usually the bullies and the gossips. I'm usually alone dealing with this thing because the other girls who are supposed to be "nice" hang out or cling with the bullies. People call me the "nice girl" but then I'm always into trouble----and disliked by some I have nothing to do with. Any words of wisdom?

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Where I work both bullies and whiners succeed. Closely following that are the brown nosers. It amazes me that those kinds of behaviors are rewarded.

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Specializes in ER, Flight.
Where I work both bullies and whiners succeed. Closely following that are the brown nosers. It amazes me that those kinds of behaviors are rewarded.

You forgot to mention the backstabbers... they tend to be the most successful of all... rather sad isn't it!

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Specializes in Operating Room.

Wish I could help you, but I'm in the same boat. The part of me that is optimistic says that with many of the younger nurses, this behavior isn't tolerated and maybe it'll die out. Then again, nursing is female dominated, and women tend to treat each other like crap. I feel your pain.

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Specializes in Gerontological, cardiac, med-surg, peds.

I would suggest counseling to the OP and also explore assertiveness training. There are effective and professional ways in which to deal with those annoying and intrusive "strong" personality types.

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Bullies and gossips are a workplace fact. You have identified a problem, now find a way to protect yourself.

Keep your private life private. Too much information about you is how these people can get to you. A few basic facts that could be printed in the newspaper is all you should reveal.

Stay out of the gossip-venture no opinions that can be used against you.

Do not advertise your mistakes.

Cultivate friendships and personal ties outside of work. Just because you work with someone and chat does not make them your friend. The stronger the network you have outside of work, the less you depend on the coworkers opinons for self-worth.

Stay busy with your patients and minimize contact with bullies.

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I also see this issue everyday and I don't think there is a solution to this. I'm in the same boat and from a different career where hardwork pays off and any non-production or non-professional behaviors (such as the bullies and horizontal violence) are strightly prohibited. Before, I consider nursing a profession. But, now, being a nurse and have to face this kind of working environment everyday, I can no longer consider nursing a profession. In fact, I started to see this bully problem from day one I was in nursing school.

I listened to a radio program couple of months ago and they talked about bully at work. The mentioned a survey on nurses has identified this true problem at the working environment. The survey says that nurses reported the highest percentage of workplace bullying.

I see this as nurses' way out of being stuck in the health care ladder. To make oneself feels better, has to beaten up some weaker folks. Afterall, we can't write orders, Dx (except those so called nursing Dx, which nobody cares), have no autonomy and being supressed. We can't beat up the managers, MDs or administration and we are so insecure so we turn to the weak and beat them up.

There are some really good nurses out there willing to mentor and help the newer nurses succeed, but you don't see them often.

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Wish I could help you, but I'm in the same boat. The part of me that is optimistic says that with many of the younger nurses, this behavior isn't tolerated and maybe it'll die out. Then again, nursing is female dominated, and women tend to treat each other like crap. I feel your pain.

I tend to agree with the theory that females propogate this behavior. The Chicago Tribune Sunday magazine featured an article called, "Mean Girls", about the behavior of preteen and adolescent girls. Sometimes I think that women who went from high school to nursing school and have continued in female dominated classes and careers continue this because they haven't had exposure to a larger world.

Working in the corporate world and with a lot of men might make some of the mean girls realize this behavior doesn't fly in other sectors.

Yes, I know I'm going to get lots of replies now about how the corporate world is just as bad, but after spending 25 years in the corporate world, and now several years in nursing, I have to say that nursing is MUCH WORSE.

However, the good news is that as I gained experience in nursing, I also developed more confidence and the ability to tell bully nurses to back off. One nurse called me once from the endo lab, because I had not sent the patient with the antibiotic hanging that we had discussed previously. That is because the doctor called later and changed the order, and I was sending the new bag direct to endo.

I told her that she had just better change her attitude and not call me up early in the morning to chew me out when she didn't hear my side of the story, and I just got here, have 6 patients, and (on and on and on--I was not in a good mood). Amazingly, she became quite docile and just sweet as pie. Lesson learned.

Don't tread on me!

Good luck,

Oldiebutgoodie

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I listened to a radio program couple of months ago and they talked about bully at work. The mentioned a survey on nurses has identified this true problem at the working environment. The survey says that nurses reported the highest percentage of workplace bullying.

I see this as nurses' way out of being stuck in the health care ladder. To make oneself feels better, has to beaten up some weaker folks. Afterall, we can't write orders, Dx (except those so called nursing Dx, which nobody cares), have no autonomy and being supressed. We can't beat up the managers, MDs or administration and we are so insecure so we turn to the weak and beat them up.

I agree that many nurses see themselves as stuck, and therefore their only way of feeling superior is to put others down.

However, this attitude is puzzling to me, because there are so many ways to get "unstuck"-- RN to BSN programs, certifications, MSN programs. So many hospitals will pay for advance education.

I recently enrolled in a distance learning program for a certification (I am paying for it myself), and when my hospital found out, hired me in a positiion where I now can work 9-5 in a mixed consultant and outpatient role.

People have to get off their butts and unstick themselve, but many nurses don't. I don't get it.

Oldiebutgoodie

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it's oppressed group behavior. the oppressed tend to practice horizontal violence on one another.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

It's a complex problem and usually only resolved for good in a given workplace IF management/admin are on board to put a stop to it.

Now, here is a helpful site for people who want to be able to deal with bullies in any area of life:

http://www.bullyonline.org

They are everywhere, at home, work, playgrounds, and public. Learn what you can do personally to end someone's undue control over your self-esteem, actions and mental health.

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its like darn if you do mind your own business and darn if you don't. there has to be a better solution to deal with bullies. and than its hard to prove that you're being bully. i know where the op is coming from to. i got people telling me im paranoid or psylo when it comes being bully.

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