BSN student questioning my career in nursing

Kuriin, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

You're kind of expected not to miss clinical whatsoever during school. I would honestly recommend, if you want vacation, to do it during your allotted breaks. In regards to your business and if nursing is for you: if you're QUESTIONING and WONDERING if nursing is even for you, then probably, chances are it's not. Granted, you're still in school and school blows. ;]

NursePick · Jun 4, 2014

I know what the expectation is and this is the first time in my college career that I requested a miss. It's my brother's wedding, however, and I did not set his wedding date. Do you really believe my uncertainty means I should not be a nurse? And I'm not being a jerk, I really want to know. If it is not normal for anyone to question their decision at any point in school then you may right. It may have been a slam dunk decision for you.

MrsICURN14 · Jun 4, 2014

I know what the expectation is and this is the first time in my college career that I requested a miss. It's my brother's wedding, however, and I did not set his wedding date. Do you really believe my uncertainty means I should not be a nurse? And I'm not being a jerk, I really want to know. If it is not normal for anyone to question their decision at any point in school then you may right. It may have been a slam dunk decision for you.

Uncertainty does NOT mean you should quit. I questioned this career choice so many times over the course of nursing school. I almost quit once. It's natural to have doubts. I too am married and almost 30 and it was very hard for me to completely put my life on hold for 3 years. I had to plan my entire life around school for those 3 years, and kind of put my marriage on the back burner. It was tough.

My sister in law had a destination wedding that I had no choice but to go to, and that was tough.

Stick with it. Nursing school is hard, and will bring out a lot of self doubt sometimes. During my last semester a lot of the doubt slipped away, and I knew this was worth it and what I wanted to do. Getting there is hard. Don't give up!! You'll be infinitely more proud of yourself for accomplishing what you almost wanted to give up on.

hope3456, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

What kind of business did you start? That is awesome - good for you. I have been a nurse 9 years and would love to do something like that.

I questioned myself also and I know nursing wasn't really for me, but didn't have anything else to fall back on. If I did I would have quit and not looked back.

Everline · Jun 4, 2014

I am in the fourth semester of a five semester program and I often doubt whether nursing is for me! I am also over the age of most students and have a family and a house that are sorely neglected. I don't have a business to run, but I do seriously pursue another interest, which takes time if I want to do it successfully. Most of the time I feel tired and emotionally washed out. The stress is sometimes overwhelming. I thought when I got to this point in school, the pressure would ease off some, but it has gotten more intense. I got exasperated the other day and told my husband I am withdrawing from the program so I can take the semester off and possibly return in September. But it was the stress talking. At this point, with one more semester to go after this one, I really need to try to get through. I have invested A LOT of time and energy in this program. And the truth is, I really do want to be a nurse. But yes, I do have doubts sometimes. For instance, yesterday, at the hospital, under all the stress, I thought: Is this what I want to do for the remainder of my working years...feel like THIS when I go to work every day?!! Then I remember that I have no intention of working in that specialty or in that environment AND even if I did, I WILL eventually get to the point where I feel more sure of myself and more skilled with experience, even if it will take some time (and a bit of anguish) to get there.

I think it is normal to have doubts, at least at some point. Nursing means dealing with SERIOUS situations of life and death. Nursing school is hard, not just academically, but the emotional and even physical toll can be quite heavy. Let me ask you: Are you taking care of yourself? I know that it's hard to find time to do that, but you really HAVE to find time to de-stress and do things to feed your spirit and keep your physical health in good shape.

As to missing your vacation, yeah...I feel for you. At the school I attend they have arranged our hours so that we're allowed to miss two clinical days without making them up, so that does give us the ability to deal with things that may suddenly come up. I haven't missed any days at all, BUT some things happen unplanned—or planned by someone else without regard to another person's nursing school schedule and I always know I have those days if I need them. I feel for you that you may have to cancel your trip and miss your brother's wedding. I'm not sure what I would do.

Please don't quit because you have doubts sometimes. And especially don't make a decision in the heat of some difficult moments. Maybe you could write out the pros and cons and give it some thought over time. Of course, only you can figure out if nursing is the career for you. But understand, you are not the only one who has doubts in nursing school!

hope3456, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

The majority of nursing jobs drain the life out of you. Even if it is a job you like you come home with a sore back, sore feet and mental overload. It usually takes me a full day to get over it to where I feel like I am even functional.

NursePick · Jun 4, 2014

Thank you Mrs, Hope, and Everline for your words of positivity and encouragement! I feel like I have no one to relate to in nursing school which worsens my feelings of doubt. I am by far the oldest in our class with an average age of 20. I own a party rental company specializing in inflatables...bounce house, waterslides, concessions, and much more. I had to come up with some creative way to pay bills through school and I knew I couldn't be on someone else's clock while in a nursing program. So when I rented a bounce house for my son's birthday I decided to buy one. We now have 17 units, clown entertainers, outdoor cinema, and DJ/karaoke service. We are also the only legal, insured and state inspected bounce house rental company in our area and very proud of that. As you can see, it's not in my personality to quit something. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it with all my might and I want to be the best...the gold standard. But, I'm so far from that in school. I made all As before nursing and now I'm all Cs/Bs. If I had started this company before I went back to school, it would be 3 times the size it is now and I would have never even pursued nursing. So that has to mean something! There has to be a divine reason that I am still on this path. Obviously I have been very passionate about nursing or I would not be here...I would not have made the grades I did, or been accepted to a very difficult program to get into. But the wind in my sail has ceased and I feel like I'm stranded in still water. My professor just emailed and said she found a day for me to make it up, but that email also came with a tremendous guilt and reminders of how this is a professional program and shame on me. It was insulting and reiterating that I don't deserve any rewards for working 7 days a week, going to school, and raising 2 little boys. There's no room for error and there's no sympathy. Now I don't even want to go on the trip because she's made me feel so unprofessional. She could have made the adjustment when she was writing the schedule because I gave her my days of absence last semester in writing - she was clearly teaching me a lesson. Lesson learned.

No, I don't take great care of myself. When I get out of class or clinical I have customers I have to call, quoted to submit, paperwork, bills to pay, marketing, etc. Then I pick up my kids, get their homework done, supper, baths, and then to my studies. Not a lot of gym or me time. On a bmi chart I am technically overweight, so of course that contributes to my diminished self esteem.

hope3456, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

Kudos on your ability to think outside the box! That sounds like an awesome business plan. Something else you might want to think about is what the job market is like in your locale. In many it sucks. There is a lot of sentiment on this site that nursing students are being misled/ ripped off by the nursing schools. The majority of nursing jobs are not the "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" like you are led to believe.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Jun 4, 2014

There's an economic concept called "sunk cost"... meaning that there comes a point where an individual may choose to continue on an initiative even though the end goal is probably not going to happen -- because the focus shifts to avoid 'wasting' so many resources (time, money, effort) rather than the original aim. My grammy called that "pigheadedness".

I think it's fabulous that you have had so much success with your own business. Truthfully, would you have made the same decision (to begin nursing school) if your business was up and going at the time?

Nursing (and other direct care clinical) jobs are very rigidly scheduled in order to meet the needs of 24X7 patient care services. In some organizations, direct care staff can't even get > 5 vacation days off at a time. Holidays, weekends, nights -- what my dear British friend calls "unsociable hours" -- are the norm. This is NOT conducive to normal family life activities, particularly not with young children. It can be even worse with teenagers who can easily go off the rails without close parental supervision.

That being said, there are very few things in life that are truly dichotomous - with only two choices. Creative people like you can usually come up with a whole continuum of solutions for any problem. My advice? Go ahead and get that degree, but only because it may be very difficult to do if you take a sabatical. Then, look for some unique employment ideas for your new degree... Based on your past success, I can't wait to see what you come up with!

loriangel14, RN · Jun 4, 2014

You state that you have not excelled as much as the other students have and then comment that their lives revolve around nursing school. Maybe there is a connection.

When I was in school it was understood that school came first. The teachers don't care how long it has been since you had a vacation.You are expected to show up unless it is an emergency. Once you start working you won't always get what you want when you want it.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

During nursing school I had an "ill grandma". I said she was in Florida to excuse the tan. Had a great week in Cancun with my husband. I did take my 35 lb medsurg text and would rest my head on it while lounging on the beach.

Do you have a serious passion for nursing? Do you prefer your business? Because if you are a nurse time off is hard to get. Especially specific dates. Especially if you are a hospital nurse.

Consider all those things to make your decision........................................