Brink of nervous breakdown!

Robin61970 · Nov 14, 2001

I don't know exactly what you mean by if everything is worth this much........You went into nursing because you felt the need or had a calling like some of us do and in your mind deep down you KNOW that you can do it! I also do not know the situation with you and your fiance', but I do hope that he supports you in what you are doing with school. If he does not therein lies a problem. There are many things here that I do not know enough about to give accurate advice, but Please keep your chin up. All of us are entitled to a nervous breakdown every now and then. We all need to cry and relieve that stress from worry......I do hope all works for you....please let me know how you are doing.......

Robin

Love-A-Nurse · Nov 14, 2001

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))!

I can only imagine what you are going through. I can tell you that when I was in LPN school and early this year while taking my pre-reqs, my husband said I was not spending anytime with him. He of all people I though would understand since he has degrees himself, but NOT!

They want our attention and I feel do not know how to express themselves to let us know and we have to give them quality time just like the children...oh, yes....like children.

Please do not stop the communication with him but please let him know how important this if for you.

I would ask you NOT to let go of your dreams today, for tomorrow you may wonder why you did.

I pray all works out for the two of you and take a little time for YOU!

Follow your heart!

Aerolizing · Nov 14, 2001

Hi Shannon,

Hang in there. I felt the same way during my schooling. It was pretty stressful. Others don't understand how much nursing school takes over your life. Stay committed to your schooling. Tell your boyfriend that you are doing it for the both of you. Tell him you need his support right now and if he can't, maybe he really can't. Turn to your school buddies for support. I would have never made it through school without the help of my great friend Lorrie. We both had man problems but we did make it through.

It is hard enough to go to nursing school without stress from our loved ones. Nursing school was a big change from my previous way of life. I was soooo broke. I was used to going out whenever I wanted to because I had been working. When in nursing school, I had enough for books, tuition and food.

I had to be creative and try to find ways to still have a social life outside of school. I sought out cheap movies at the theaters, not vcr tapes. The act of going out is important. Going to the park to build fires or play catch or walk. Just going out on real dates. Try to reconnect. I know my then boyfriend felt left out. My good school friend and I double dated so our men could complain about how neglected they are and they got to be good friends too.

Good luck and know, I have been there and I survived. You can do it too. Keep thinking, it is only temporary. Just a small part of your life. Hang in there.

prmenrs, RN · Nov 14, 2001

Whew. You've got a lot going on!

Please try to make some time for yourself--not a lot, obviously, just enough to have a little island of time in the morning and again at bedtime to decompress.

Do some deep breathing and stretch to loosen your muscles; if you pray, do it now, and give it your total attention. Decide what you want to get done today and write it down if you need to.

Have a cup of tea or decaf. Try decreasing, but don't eliminate, caffeine. Take tylenol or advil for your headache.

Eat healthy, and take a vitamin; being this stressed makes it easy to get sick right now.

Ask for help from SUPPORTIVE family and friends [and fiance, if he's cooperative] for chores. Try to decrease the nickel and dime stuff.

If the prince can't help you right now, he's part of the problem, and you need to focus on finishing that semester. If you bail out of school right now, you'll lose time, money, and possibly the whole dream. Don't do that. You ARE important.

Ask him for support, but if he won't give it, he'd better be able to explain why. Your ambitions and goals should be just as important as his.

I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang on!!!

StevieRN · Nov 14, 2001

(((((((Shannon)))))))

How I remember those days!! You say its the end of your med surg rotation! I found that I was so so burnt by the end of my rotations. When I started school my daughter was 11 (shes now almost 20) I also had a fiancee...and our relationship was very strained...but I let him know that I loved him very much but that school was very important for all of us...yes he felt neglected, yes we didnt spend as much time together and sometimes I felt like throwing the towel in...but to be honest as much as I loved him I knew that I had to finish school. I had to change some of my ways too...I wanted straight A's at all times, I wanted the immaculate house and home cooked dinners...basically I wanted things the way they were before nursing school. I found myself stressing out so much because i couldnt do it all. Finally i decided to let go of the straight A obsession (became a happy B student) I let go of the need to have an immaculate house..(that was the toughest but I did it) and we settled for take out a couple times a week. Of course my child was priority so I had more time for her and my B-friend and I made the best of it, because we knew there was going to be an end....and you know what it all turned out ok, there was an end Graduation!!! A year later we bought a house (its immaculate lol). Its tough but just keep reminding him that this is for the both of you and learn to let go of the things that really arent that important and all will work out fine. Good Luck...you will survive

jschut, BSN, RN · Nov 14, 2001

Shannon~

:D {{{HUGE HUG!!!}}} :D

It IS worth it, Shannon. You have a good cry every now and again. You're allowed! We're all with you in this!

God bless you,

Julie:)

JennieBSN · Nov 14, 2001

debbyed · Nov 14, 2001

We've all been there, done that...and I can promise you this too will pass.

As grannie used to say, "it's always darkest before the dawn".

Do something nice for yourself and remember that we are all here and you can laugh, cry, rant all you want and we'll still be here.

SbRN2002 · Nov 14, 2001

Thanks everyone. I did have several good cries yesterday. I felt better after I did. I thank everyone for helping me through this. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be alright.

I do pray. Now, more than ever. God is the one that has helped me through this tough time. I would not have made it this far in school without him and I am not about to do it without him now.

i am glad you understand. No one in my family or my friends know what the stress that is on me now. I am going to the Doctor tomorrow. She is very understanding. I am hoping that she can do something to help me.

I will keep you all posted. We have only 1.5 weeks left of class then its our final. I hope i pass. I had a test today. I had to make an 88 or better on.

Keep me in your prayers. I will do the same for you.

Thanks

Shannon

betts · Nov 15, 2001

As my husband told me;

"WHEN YOU GET TO THE END OF THE ROPE, TIE A KNOT AND HANG ON!"

Do talk too someone that your comfortable with; counselor, educator, church,or whomever but, do get it off your chest. You will feel better.

In My Thoughts

micro, RN · Nov 15, 2001

Shannon, Not that any advice that I have will help, but going to give it anyway!!!!! micro

:p You have made it this far and you are doing great!!!!! Don't give up now. As you have heard, yours is not a totally unique experience!!!!!

I remember when I started nursing school, our instructors "warned us", if you are working fulltime, you must at least work very parttime if not quit!!!!! If you have family, kids, s.o., etc. Do not try to do Associates Degree program in the stated two years......or the Bachelor's program in the stated four years!!!!! Unless you have absolutely no other life and no other responsibilities than nursing school, then you HAVE TO ADJUST YOUR THINKING TO MAKE IT!!!!!

Well, not that I perfected any of that, but I made it through nursing school with a husband that was great, but not necessarily that understanding!!!!! Don't think a person can understand unless they have been there!!!!!

I took my prerequisites first before entering the program, while working fulltime. In my first of two years of just nursing classes, I cut back to 24 hrs week.....and in last year just worked 16 hrs week (every weekend). By my second year,my husband was getting the drift that nursing was totally different than anything else that our local community college offered!!!!!

And I didn't have any kids(Not that I would have loved to have some, but that is another story)!!!!!

so Shannon, what I am trying to tell you, no better and probably worse than others have is this.....

1) You can do it!!!!!

2) A good "temporary mental scream" and "cry" is healthy, not unhealthy!!!

3) Just because your fiancee does not seem to understand, probably he doesn't but that does not necessarily make him a bad guy!!!!! (Of course situations are different, but.....)

4)If nursing is what you want to do and suited/called for.....do not let anything stop you!!!!!

5) There is an end to nursing school. Take the boards and then join the rest of us "old nurses"!!!

You can do it. It is worth it!!!!! Quit being so hard on yourself!!!!! Let a couple dust bunnies live at your house!!!!! Scrap studying for one night!!!!! You will be surprised.....at this point of your studies, you know far more than you give yourself credit for!!!!!!! Sometimes stress and ourselves are our worst enemy!!!!!

Well, Shannon or any other nursing student(or nurse) reading this.....don't know if anything I said helped you, but it helped me!!!!!

micro:p :rolleyes: