Breastfeed or else

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in ICU, ER, Hemodialysis.
You are going to make a GREAT nurse!

thanks, but i am going to stay way, way, WAY (oops there goes those caps again) away from L&D/postpartum. clinical was enough for me! this thread just got my attention because my wife chose not to breast feed so i was curious what others here had to say.

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal transport.

I know perfectly well. I am very frustrated with the group that ignores every word I say and then praises it when it comes from someone else.

Saying things like "as a student, you just can't possibly understand" also has the same effect.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I agree lil peanut. No one needs to get derogatory or demeaning here to make a point. Matter of fact, just the opposite of understanding is achieved when we talk this way.

Just a suggestion but: Maybe it's time we put this issue to bed for the night, and face it with a fresh point of view in the morning.

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal transport.

Just some food for thought in everyone's assumptions about me.

Did anyone ever ask me how I would approach a patient about it, instead of a colleague in intellectual discourse? Or rather, how I have approached patients about it? Since I am already through OB/GYN and have served as a breastfeeding counsellor outside of nursing school?

This should not be something discussed PP, it's something for the first prenatal visit. For yearlies for childbearing women. By the time the delivery room has been reached, a decision has likely already been made.

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
* By what you just told her, you're guilting her.

I don't think there is any way to NOT feel guilty about some of these choices (and I'm not just referring to breast vs bottle). No matter how we present the facts of breastfeeding vs formula, someone, somewhere, at some point, is going to feel guilty now or in the future no matter HOW it is presented to them.

I know I feel some guilt (and from no one but myself) about formula feeding my first and my second got the "best" with breastfeeding for 4 years---talk about guilt!! I wish I could go back and give them both the "best" equally, but I can't. I feel like I somehow cheated my firstborn. But I did what I could at the time, I did what I thought was best.

I think the guilty just never ends with us moms.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Call Center RN.
Ok. Because I am a sucker, loser and whatnot else and I cannot just let this patronizing, condescension slip by, I must address it.

Please point to a post where I say I think moms are terrible for FF? Please point to a post where I think women should be guilted AFTER the fact. Please point to a post where I think this is a discussion to be had in the delivery room. Please note this was supposed to be an intellectual discussion on a nurses board. Please note that many people have said that by stating any of the truths about BFing, moms are being made to feel guilty.

Oh yeah. I've never said any of that. Much to the point where I've asserted the exact opposite of what you are claiming to me.

Yes, I enjoy walking down the street and squirting breastmilk in the faces of those horrible horrible mothers who give that poison they dare to call formula. I hate them will all my body and soul. They are terrible people and don't deserve to have children. Only me and my kind should be allowed to have children and you definitely are not part of that group. FF moms are lazy and uncaring who hate babies.

You people act like because we want moms fully informed prior to giving formula, we want to whip them for the rest of their lives.

I never said that you said FF moms are terrible. And I may be more vulnerable to the guilt because of my recent failed attempt at breastfeeding. But if you re-read my post I said yes Mother's have the right to be informed. But if they want to FF anyway they need to be supported. And I know for a fact, having given birth a month ago, that new parents are bombarded with paper, studies on this and that, information on immunizations, and physicians, and post partum info, I still haven't got to read it all.

I do however find your reply somewhat childish be it sarcasm or not. Why not debate it intelligently instead of getting so angry and look at it from other people's point of view.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.
Alrighty...now who wants to talk about circumcision :chair:

Or vaccines?

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal transport.

Because no one was responding to the intelligent replies. No one was answering the questions I posed, responding to the studies I discussed, critiquing the essay I posted.

And that's why I am frustrated. I cannot argue with your guilt. I cannot convince you that you shouldn't feel guilty. But I can discuss other aspects that are not personal to you, but no one wants to do that.

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
Or vaccines?

Ya what about the fact that NO LONG TERM studies have been done with vaccines?! Yikes.

Ok, that is another post......

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.
Ok.

You people act like because we want moms fully informed prior to giving formula, we want to whip them for the rest of their lives.

I have to say that SBE has expressed what many of us are thinking very well, very clearly and with a great deal of tact.

Sometimes it's not what you actually, but how you say it. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you say, or how you say it, the other person may take offense or feel bad about the topic at hand.

I will ask my new moms if they plan to breast or bottle feed. Sometimes I reverse the order as in bottle or breast feed. At no time do I ever imply what my own preference may or may not be. Only if asked do I give any personal experiences.

I do ask the mom, regardless of what her answer to the above question is, if she has any questions about that method of feeding her newborn. Very few moms are really on the fence about the issue and if so, then I will review just about everything I know about both sides of the issue, again without indicating what my personal preference would be.

Whatever she decides to do is fine with me, honestly. She deserves to get and gets, my full support, help, teaching and all of that. If I have a mom who has decided not to breastfeed, and especially if she initially started it, we discuss things a little further, as in are you sure, why are you making this decision, etc. Once I feel she's firm on the decision, we go into bottlefeeding teaching mode. And I will go so far as to warn her that other nurses to follow me might try to get her to change her mind again. I just want her to be aware of that and I tell her that if she's made up her mind, to stand her ground, tell the next nurse thank you but I've made up my mind. And I might add that I've had more than one new mom thank me the next time I'm on for that warning because they did get the bombarding of guilt from some of my co-workers.

You can't do something like this with a scripted bit of rhetoric, although I know it's the new and going (I hope it goes soon) thing in hospitals to script everything we say. Just can't go there. It takes so much of the personal caring out of it.

And just because a study shows this or that, there are exceptions to all of them. As nurses I feel we are there to assist, to educate without prejudice, and promote health. And in all three of those endeavors there are many many ways to achieve the goal of good patient care.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Just one more thought:

If I say nothing you agree with, know this much: there is a huge difference in the guilt parents feel when they realize or believe a wrong choice was made in raising their kids....than guilt we can push on a mom very early in her post partal and yes, very vulnerable phase, by how we communicate with her.

I would ask anyone taking care of new mommies be very mindful of this and realize what we say, how we behave, and how we treat these folks stays with them for YEARS, if not a LIFETIME. The horror-inspiring (and happy) anecdotes they tell me with such clear rememberances, never fail to amaze me. The detail with which moms remember their care in labor/delivery and postpartum phases astounds me continually.

I tell you, we have such power to inspire, or destroy, their confidence and trust in us and themselves.....

Be always mindful.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Call Center RN.

This should not be something discussed PP, it's something for the first prenatal visit. For yearlies for childbearing women. By the time the delivery room has been reached, a decision has likely already been made.

This is a very good idea. Although it is hard to find someone who wants to talk to a mother about it before the baby get here. I tried to get help, knowing that twice before I was unsuccessful with BF. Everyone said wait till the baby comes. Then when he did come there was poor support in the hospital, so it was a third failure. Having more BF classes prior to delivery is a very good idea.

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