I was trying to think of a gentle, positive, and non-offensive way to start this thread, but... it's true. I've witnessed some really bizarre reactions to patient's deaths: by family, by staff, by physicians.
A dark subject, but interesting.
The first bizarre incident that comes to mind was when the adult son of a patient came to the unit after the rest of the family called to let him know the father had passed. The family kept saying "he's gonna freak out" repeatedly. Well, that's nothing new. Yet, he DID freak out.
As soon as he entered the unit and saw the family in the room gathered around the father, he dropped to his knees, let out this blood-curdling YEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!, got up, ran around the entire unit like he was racing Flo-Jo, burst out of the exit doors (setting off all kinds of alarms), ran down the steps to outside, flung himself into the grass and started eating the grass. WTF?!?
I am quite sure there are others who have witnessed bizarre reactions also....
Lol, the donald duck in a coffin was perhaps his way of saying, "everything eventually will die" including things we knew as children. Except mr. rogers, who is immortal. My cousin ran down the block screaming and someone called the cops, who responded and helped. Apoptosis is the phreakiest thing :-( I also heard stories of old italian wives, whose husbands just died, and the wives would try to throw themselves into the grave with the husband at graveside. I've seen it where mourners are "held back" at graveside, maybe as a comfort or to stop an adverse reaction. Death reactions are as unique as a personality is. Lol!
I had what I thought was a very strange reaction to death.
When I got the call that my father had died (out of the blue at age 51), I was in my late 20's. Anyway, I was working as a charge nurse at a nursing home and I dropped the phone and dropped to the floor myself and started crawling across the floor, trying to breath. It was very VERY weird now that I think of it. It lasted just a couple seconds but I don't know why I did that. Glad there wasn't any grass down there on the floor. LOL Ewww, that is really strange.
We see a lot of what we term "wall-rolling". Backing up to the wall crying and then facing the wall and crying and so on. There was a patient that recently died in the ER, large Catholic family, they all came and the priest gave last rites. Then all of them gathered around the stretcher and held hands and prayed for their fallen father. Was quite touching, by the time they did this, the priest had them all calmed down and no one was crying. One by one they said goodbye to the patriarch and then left. They were all at peace with his passing. Our hospital is surrounded by LTC facilities and of course if one of their patients is in bad shape, we're the closest place. We often have lil old people come in that are dying and all their family lives elsewhere. If we have someone that we are allowing to die without intervention, I will ofetn sit with them and hold their hand, I wouldn't want to die alone.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I have seen most -if not all of it,too....Something that really bothers me now in out LTC facility is these family members that visit once in a blue moon-show no interest in holding their dying loved one's hand but when they get the call they want to hold an impromptu viewing in the room....Last time it happened a resident's son came in after she was down in the morgue and insisted on going down there...That is the last place I would want to see my loved one....just as bad up in the room -we are on a dementia unit and it is so upsetting to the room-mates (no private rooms....) Someone needs to get some balls when calling these families and discourage this-even if you are cremating your loved one the funeral home will let you see them.....Yrs ago when I worked med surg I had a 90 some yr old woman die(took her several days) Her husband was with her-he says that the children are coming and can we wait to take her to the morgue? Mean time the roomie-one day post-op TAH is sitting in the lounge with her husband,,,,So we wait...and wait...and wait-children start arriving-8 of them-but the 9th was several hours away...The roomie's husband approaches me in the hall-near some of the other patients children-naturally he and his wife would like to know when the viewing will be over because she is in pain ans needs to rest-without a dead body in the room(the Inn was full-no other room available on any unit) Next thing I know fists are flying-the younger husband got into it with one of the dead woeman's children-next thing I know they all jump in....It was awful...we had to call security to break it up...What a mess- that was the FIRST time I lost it and cried in the bathroom at work........
if I have a dying patient and the family is not around I always try to be around , to hold their hands and tell them that its okay to go, that they are loved... sometimes its hard to be there to see someone breathe that last breath but one of my biggest fears in life is dying alone... that would be terrible...
now on to the weirdness:
had a patient pass away and the family came in with a digital camera and it was an inpromptu photo shoot complete with the deceased being posed in various ways , family at the bedside beside her... I'm extremely openminded but even that messed me up for the shift... I thought I wouldnt wanna be the one developing those shots! ah well at least they didnt try to stand her up and what not..that would have backfired severely..
to each his or her own ,but if any of my family tries to take my picture after I've passed on you better believe I'll be doing some "devine" intervention to make sure those pics get lost in the shuffle and NEVER see the light of day!
We once had an elderly lady(DNR) pass away while the family was present and the family was hysterical, throwing themselves on the floor, having chest pain, passing out. It was quite the scene. But that is not the strange part. I actually expect that and understand it. What was odd, was that like, 5 minutes later they were all in the coffee shop, eating and laughing. What was even odder was that the family had already said their goodbyes and left and post-mortem care had been done. We were just awaiting escort to take her to the morgue. Well she was in the room closest to the entrance to ICU and some of the family members actually came back and before we could stop them went into the room and unzipped the bag and stared at this old woman's naked body for a few seconds and left. It was bizarre.
My father's wake resulted in fisticuffs. My great- uncle spit on my mother and my grandparents blamed my mother for his death(he committed suicide-no one knows why) and eventually several fistfights broke out. To this day there is still bad blood between both sides of the family. Also, family members from my father's side actually looted when they came to our house, " Can I have this"? Can I have this? And just took whatever they wanted.Meanwhile my mother was suddenly a young widow with 2 small children to raise ,not to mention the fact that she was the one who found my father dead.
mario_ragucci
1,041 Posts
Lol, the donald duck in a coffin was perhaps his way of saying, "everything eventually will die" including things we knew as children. Except mr. rogers, who is immortal. My cousin ran down the block screaming and someone called the cops, who responded and helped. Apoptosis is the phreakiest thing :-( I also heard stories of old italian wives, whose husbands just died, and the wives would try to throw themselves into the grave with the husband at graveside. I've seen it where mourners are "held back" at graveside, maybe as a comfort or to stop an adverse reaction. Death reactions are as unique as a personality is. Lol!
