birth control and pap HELP SCARED

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Hello,

I have several questions about birth control and pap smears. I have researched for days on this, this site plus goggle. Anyways Background information on myself:

I am 21, I have been with my fiance for 2 yrs, we live together, no planning for kids (probably never, I fear being a mom, long story), graduating nursing school in may (so I know a little technical stuff about this but I will say not much). I heard health hx can affect bcp so the bigys I have are Chrons, mitral value prolapse, and heart mumur, ventricle sys. defect. Since nursing school, I have been getting acne from stress. Warning TMI, I have always never had regular periods, they are very heavy and clotty, bad cramps, however I dont get moody.

I have never really had a "scare" of not starting my period, until last month. So I have decided I probably need to be on bcp. Problem is I AM SCARED to dealth of the entire procedure. I have never had a Pap smear or anything, I know that is bad according to my age, I know I need to be checked for cancer, and etc. However, I am very shy.

What are everyones experiences? What questions should I ask my first time? What should I know about? The doctor is a women, I asked. I personally dont want my body to be judged. I know that might sound silly, but it is true.

Anyways I made a appointment to get put on birth control (big step for me); however, I don't know what type is best for me. After researching, I figure I probably will just have to test and find out which one works best for me. I honestly knowing myself pretty well, will forgot the pill, the shot (dep0-provera) seems like it has a lot of side effects, the NuvaRing personally sounds gross to me, not heard much on the shot Lunelle, and still keeping my options open about the IUD. Any suggestions? My fiancee said he is going to pay for it because I am in nursing school plus it is cheaper then a kid.

Basically help me, I know that I need to do this, but this is a big fear to me--- that I am ready to overcome. :crying2:

ERNurse752, RN

1,323 Posts

Has 8 years experience.

As for what to ask the OB, I would just write down all the questions you mentioned here. That way you won't forget when you're nervous when you're there.

Tell her it's your first exam and that you want to know what she does before she does it.

Trust me, she's seen so many vaginas (and so many worse things on them and in them) that yours will be absolutely no big deal. I promise you this! :D

Specializes in Gyn Onc, OB, L&D, HH/Hospice/Palliative.

I don't think you should worry about being judged, The M.D. or N.P. should be very experienced and after examining hundreds and thousands of patients (I would hope,) should not be judgemental. In the same regard, they need to do a complete examination, health history, and address any health concerns ie. exercise/diet/smoking/etoh or drugs/sexual hx, all is necessary to treat ALL of you, not just your cervix. The PAP itself,isn't painful, in my experience you hardly feel it, you should explain it is your first PAP, and if your very nervous, let her know, she can use a small speculum ( unless you have a very large body habitus) She will also do a pelvic exam to check your uterus/ovaries and a quick rectal (blah)

I have worked in woman's outpt services and gyn/onc... it would be much worse to be dx w/ cervical Ca down the road d/t fear of having a PAP, I've seen it many times, sooo preventable

She would be the best to discuss BC options, my experience w/pts isn't that favorable, lots of irregular breakthru bleeding and weight gain that goes on and on, 50, 60 lbs and more. You also wouldn't be a great candidate for an IUD, most practitioners don't like to use them on women who haven't had at least one child, but seeing your'e in a monogamous relationship and not interested in having kids, you may be able to find someone to place one, good luck

4x4country

248 Posts

As for what to ask the OB, I would just write down all the questions you mentioned here. That way you won't forget when you're nervous when you're there.

Tell her it's your first exam and that you want to know what she does before she does it.

Trust me, she's seen so many vaginas (and so many worse things on them and in them) that yours will be absolutely no big deal. I promise you this! :D

I know I should not be this nervous, some people are afraid of hts, I am afraid of OB! I told her the lady at the desk that set up my appt that this is my first, i got a lot of pamplets of information. My appt is not for another 3 1/2 weeks and I can not stop thinking about it, I cant even study. :lol2:

Batman24

1,975 Posts

Take a friend, sister, etc. in with you if that would make you more comfortable. I did this with my friend and she was much calmer with someone she knew in the room.

Tell them it is your first exam. Most of us are a little shy at the gyno because it's a little embarassing having someone look at your crotch. wink It's also preventative care and should be done especially if you are sexually active.

We all have sex organs including the docs and nurses. I'm sure they will treat you with respect and dignity. It's really not half as bad as you are thinking. The entire exam is probably 10 minutes tops including the breast exam.

hikernurse

1,302 Posts

Specializes in NICU. Has 8 years experience.

It's very natural to be scared about new things, esp. things that involve private places.

I agree with the other posters, let your OB know you are very nervous and ask her to go slowly and explain as she goes. She shouldn't have a problem with that.

She WON'T judge you, really.

And here's a silly idea that works for me :D. Wear your socks during the exam--you'll know that at least part of you will never be exposed ;). I always bring a clean pair and put them on with the gown.

4x4country

248 Posts

Take a friend, sister, etc. in with you if that would make you more comfortable. I did this with my friend and she was much calmer with someone she knew in the room.

Tell them it is your first exam. Most of us are a little shy at the gyno because it's a little embarassing having someone look at your crotch. wink It's also preventative care and should be done especially if you are sexually active.

We all have sex organs including the docs and nurses. I'm sure they will treat you with respect and dignity. It's really not half as bad as you are thinking. The entire exam is probably 10 minutes tops including the breast exam.

My fiance really wants to go, becuase he knows that I am scared. He even wants to miss a day of work, which is like a big deal, seeing he never calls in. I really wanted him to go at first, however, now I am not sure. I thought it would help my nerves, but I am not sure now.

Specializes in Cardiac.

I'm 33 and just had my first PAP about 3 years ago. I picked out the best OB, and when I went for my appt I told him that it was my first time. He was so gentle! He didn't make me feel bad for waiting so long at all, and didn't judge me either. So don't worry! It will be fast and easy. And you will feel so much better after it's done.

Good luck!

law3576

74 Posts

Have him go with you. I actually didn't go to my first appt. until I was 24..(I know that's bad) My fiancee went with me because i was so nervous and I felt alot better that he went. Really it's not a big deal to go. Tell her it's your first time and she will make you feel comfortable.

How old should you be for your first appt? I am 20 and not sexually active. My mom says you don't need to go till your married (read sexually active)

Batman24

1,975 Posts

My fiance really wants to go, becuase he knows that I am scared. He even wants to miss a day of work, which is like a big deal, seeing he never calls in. I really wanted him to go at first, however, now I am not sure. I thought it would help my nerves, but I am not sure now.

If he wants to come in the room and you are okay with it I would let him. I think it will calm your nerves.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP

17 Articles; 5,259 Posts

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Good practitioners don't mind you having a support person with you. If you want your fiance (or another friend) there, I think it's a great idea.

Having a list of questions written down is also a good idea; you're less likely to forget to ask something.

Wiggle your toes during the Pap/pelvic. For whatever reason it helps relax things.

It isn't a picnic, but it's not the torture that it's made out to be, esp if you have a good person doing it.

Ask if they mind running the speculum under warm water first; having it be not quite so cold is a great help in relaxing too.

Good luck. You will be fine.

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