Berated by parent

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 27, 2019

On 5/24/2019 at 11:17 AM, BiscuitRN said:
Or what happens when a pill gets innocently dropped and a kindergartner picks it up and thinks it's a tic tac? Is the school ready for that? What if the student innocently gives one to his friend who is complaining that he hurt his leg in gym class? What will the school tell those parents? Or what do we do when the child is having a really bad pain day and can't remember if he took a pill already. He takes a few too many and an ambulance must be called. Who is liable? The school! The administration! What's the plan then?
We've had 2 incidents this year where students have been found carrying controlled medications. I've had to have this talk many times with adults who just didn't get it.

What came of those talks?

I don't understand why Admin, both Principal and Nursing, don't lay down the law, suspend, etc.

And why, RNTaadaa, does the parent get away with rudeness toward you?

You (RNTaadaa) had better be documenting the living daylights out of this mess.

And don't go gentle into that good night. Make your boss and the Principal both give you a written reply. Remind them of the liability the school has if any of the scenarios mentioned in this thread happen. And let them know that you have done everything in your power to avert such tragedies.

You had better talk to a couple of lawyers about your own liability, especially if you aren't really holding your bosses' feet to the fire. I don't know how many written notices you have sent to the parent and to your boss and to the Principal, but you had better do it today.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 27, 2019

On 5/24/2019 at 11:50 AM, tining said:
Since this will be on going - next year - policy needs to be clarified for next year. Medication - even over the counter on a student is a "Level III Act of Misconduct" in the Student Code of Conduct in my district with coinciding levels of discipline. What is the policy of looking in backpack for medications? If allowed, next year, look in backpack at the beginning of the day. Confiscate med, call parent to pick up. Again irritating them, however maybe they will get the paperwork completed. Send a letter, with your med forms attached, this week stating "moving forward have the paper work filled out over the summer at your convenience . . . " Print student code of conduct to attach.

At her convenience? The time for the parent to have convenience has long passed. The parent shows no concern whatsoever for other children. Or for the rules, or for even her own daughter, who might decide to OD or sell the stuff or lose it or God only knows what.

Rules are made for a reason - safety, compliance with the law. The devil with the parent's convenience.

And what if she still does not comply? What will the school do come the new school year? And, no, this parent deserves no extra reminders or gentle proddings - only a notice come the first day of school that the daughtetr is suspended immediately because the required forms have not been provided and no medication has been received.

I know you can't allow yourself to be so angry that you sever ties with the parent, but this stuff makes me angry.

Is it the nurse not reporting this mess way earlier to those who have the authority to enforce the rules or is it the nurse allowing a parent to disrespect her? Or the authorities doing nothing, despite numerous notifications by the nurse? Or am I missing something?

And what about searching pockets, backpacks, desks, etc., as someone mentioned earlier?

Is this parent just a lazy, disrespectful flaunter of law and rules? Or is she overwhelmed by a home or work or whatever situation? Maybe DCFS should have a look at her and the home. She is endangering minors.

And the student in pain needs another doctor. There might be dietary changes that could help, physical therapy, other types of therapy, nutritional supplements, stop all sugar and grains for starters.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 27, 2019

On 5/24/2019 at 10:28 AM, RNTadaaaa said:
Situation:
Student with a permanent medical diagnosis in need of assistance with pain management initially came to the medical room for help last semester in pain. At the time, found that student was allowed to carry oxycodone by parent to take while in school. No orders for pain medication. Discussed the danger of this practice with parent and requested orders for pain medication, inhalers and accommodations (heating pads, rest, etc). Forms sent. Alerted Principal of the situation.
Fast forward to March and no orders received although requested frequently. Student now no longer comes to the medical room for assistance. Some forms eventually received but are incomplete. Missing parts of the order like, Provider signature. Communicated this to parent and eventually was able to get SOME orders directly from the provider. No medication sent in with orders.
Presently, Monday's scheduled class trip is out of state and overnight, I have no medication, still need one med order (Emergency med) and teachers report student was out ill for several days. (d/t pain?)
Requested previous medication, missing order & provider clearance (d/t diagnosis) from parent for student to attend trip OR chaperone. Parent called to yell, berate and insult me yesterday and today has continued to do the same also talking to other teachers on campus. Administration was made aware and although seemingly in agreement has played good cop. They are also busy with graduation details.
Yesterday I did well and was professional and courteous but firm. Today, professional but very down. Why do some people think its ok to talk to Nurses this way? I am only trying to assist the student and uphold the law and our medical standards.

They think it because you let them think it.

RNTadaaaa · May 28, 2019

@Kooky Korky

Sooo....I think I will take the good advice from what you wrote and let the assumptions about what I allow or dont evaporate into ether.

At the core, what you wrote has good intentions, thank you for the advice.

tining, BSN, RN · May 28, 2019

5 hours ago, RNTadaaaa said:
@Kooky Korky
Sooo....I think I will take the good advice from what you wrote and let the assumptions about what I allow or dont evaporate into ether.
At the core, what you wrote has good intentions, thank you for the advice.

I concur. The 'convenience' verbiage was to deescalate the parent & my own .

NutmeggeRN, BSN · May 28, 2019

18 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:
At her convenience? The time for the parent to have convenience has long passed. The parent shows no concern whatsoever for other children. Or for the rules, or for even her own daughter, who might decide to OD or sell the stuff or lose it or God only knows what.
Rules are made for a reason - safety, compliance with the law. The devil with the parent's convenience.
And what if she still does not comply? What will the school do come the new school year? And, no, this parent deserves no extra reminders or gentle proddings - only a notice come the first day of school that the daughtetr is suspended immediately because the required forms have not been provided and no medication has been received.
I know you can't allow yourself to be so angry that you sever ties with the parent, but this stuff makes me angry.
Is it the nurse not reporting this mess way earlier to those who have the authority to enforce the rules or is it the nurse allowing a parent to disrespect her? Or the authorities doing nothing, despite numerous notifications by the nurse? Or am I missing something?
And what about searching pockets, backpacks, desks, etc., as someone mentioned earlier?
Is this parent just a lazy, disrespectful flaunter of law and rules? Or is she overwhelmed by a home or work or whatever situation? Maybe DCFS should have a look at her and the home. She is endangering minors.
And the student in pain needs another doctor. There might be dietary changes that could help, physical therapy, other types of therapy, nutritional supplements, stop all sugar and grains for starters.

Yah...so when dealing with the parents, we are dealing with "taxpayers, who pay our salary" as we are often reminded. There is a delicate balancing act that goes on day in and out. Life is rarely black and white in this area, like many others.

That lack of that definition has undone me more than once, necessitating a "conversation follow up" to an angry email, letter or phone call from a parent. Administration has to really play both sides of the fence.

Makes me nuts some days!!

BrisketRN, BSN, RN · May 30, 2019

On 5/27/2019 at 5:29 PM, Kooky Korky said:
What came of those talks?
I don't understand why Admin, both Principal and Nursing, don't lay down the law, suspend, etc.

In every situation students' meds were confiscated, parents were phoned, I had to speak with students about why they can't carry around medication in school, and we sorted out the proper paperwork needed. For reasons I can't clarify here (because it'd be too identifying) many of our administrators fail to understand the laws in place around this. If it was my choice the student would be suspended first time around...but we are a private school and cater to parents.

MrNurse(x2), ADN · May 30, 2019

32 minutes ago, BiscuitRN said:
If it was my choice the student would be suspended first time around...but we are a private school and cater to parents.

... and I bet these parents donate $$$$ to allow their child to have special preference. See this all the time.

tining, BSN, RN · May 30, 2019

Happens in public school. Parking space auction $$$$, PTO, . . .