Balance??anyone have a problem with it being in school

carachel2 · Mar 23, 2006

I've struggled with this a lot this semester. For some reason, patho and theory last semester were no problem, but this semester was something else. Pharm and research together were just not working. It was VERY hard for me to admit that it wasn't working for us and to drop a class.

I am someone who is NOT happy when things are not balanced and will do everything to get back to balance. After a lot of discussion with my Dh and other family, I decided to drop a class and proceed s l o w l y through the program. We have no huge financial incentive, no need to do it quickly,etc. so maybe the lack of "having to get it done" played a big part in my decision. I came to the conclusion though, that I would rather not graduate at all than to graduate overweight (I had gained 5 lbs d/t sitting on my orifice in front of the computer) and totally wigged out and not having time to spend with my daughter....and having missed out virtually on two years of my daughters life.

I think it is all about evaluating what is working for YOU and accepting that what may be working for others may or not work for you. That was the hardest part for me. There are lots of women in my program who have three kids, homeschool, work full-time and take 2-3 grad classes at a time. I'm impressed...I bow down at that. But it is just not worth it for me. Everyone is different and learns in different ways.

99_99africa · Mar 23, 2006

I too spend many hours at the computer when I study, balance is that my children are grown up. My mom-in-law lives with us and cooks like a dream, two woman in the kitchen really does not work. I have recently stopped my studies at vasity because I share my car with my daugther and rather wait another year until she is settled and has her own transport. My husband Leonard is happy that something is keeping me busy and I don't nag him. :nurse:

HHW2006 · Mar 23, 2006

It has been a struggle for me as well! I have 2 children(who are very busy), a husband, and a part time job on top of school. I have had to learn to say NO!!! Before nursing school I was involved with all of my kid's acvities, my church, etc... Once I started school I curtailed how much I did to the essentials only!!! I figure that everything else will still be there when I am done, I need to devote what little "free" time I do have to my family. Good luck!!! Just remember it is okay to say NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

birthmamaew · Mar 23, 2006

I recently came to an epiphany about this when my 6 year old had a tantrum that culminated in her hugging me and crying until her poor little body just fell calm with exhaustion. When I picked her up she said very quietly in my ear "I miss you mommy." Talk about guilt! It was the worst moment of my life.

The impetus for this was my spending an entire weekend stressed out with books all over me ignoring everyone to study for an exam. The bottom line for me was this: Getting an A is really not the most important thing in llife.

As for the weight thing, I too had lost a lot of weight before starting school and gained half of it back due to pure lack of activity. As a part of my "Balance Quest" I started weight watchers again. It's peeling off, slowly but surely. I am trying to cut my self some slack.

Unfortunatley we do have the financial burden of getting it done quickly so I need to decided what is going to give. I mean to tell you it won't be my family.

johnson0424 · Mar 24, 2006

thanks everyone for your replies. My husband and I are in no financial burden but I cannot stand something hanging over my head for long periods of time. I wont grad till 2008 and it is about to kill me(i am not even in my clinicals yet). I bring alot of it on myself and want to be 100% in everything but realize i can't (or at least I say I can't but dont practice it). I am a perfectionist and have had to quit many things causing dissapointment but school is my #1 goal but I dont want to get divorced either *hehe I just dont know how ya'll do it with kids in the mix...i have a hard enough time with my dh. It is nice to see someone else is in the same boat as I. working full time and going to school is tough and like someone else said I have gained weight also and boy that adds to the "pity party" so I do need to take a day out for just me...:)

carachel2 · Mar 25, 2006

thanks everyone for your replies. My husband and I are in no financial burden but I cannot stand something hanging over my head for long periods of time. I wont grad till 2008 and it is about to kill me(i am not even in my clinicals yet). I bring alot of it on myself and want to be 100% in everything but realize i can't (or at least I say I can't but dont practice it). I am a perfectionist and have had to quit many things causing dissapointment but school is my #1 goal but I dont want to get divorced either *hehe I just dont know how ya'll do it with kids in the mix...i have a hard enough time with my dh. It is nice to see someone else is in the same boat as I. working full time and going to school is tough and like someone else said I have gained weight also and boy that adds to the "pity party" so I do need to take a day out for just me...:)

You'll find your groove and what works for you. If I didn't have a little girl, I would definitely kick up the pace a bit. In all honesty,stretching out school a bit longer kind of gives me a reason not to have to focus full time on my career (i.e. work summers and such). I am more than happy to be home with her that many more years.

I kind of made the decision that a B is just fine for me in theory, research and then my theory/research class ( :rolleyes: at how much theory and research is required, but that is another story). I want a good grade and to really LEARN the information for patho, pharm and assessment so I am willing to let the others go and skim by and really focus on the others. I'm thinking when it gets down to it, I need to know WHY I am prescribing the meds vs. figuring out if I am using the Johnson Behavioral Health System model, LOL.

SarasotaRN2b · May 6, 2006

I definitely feel for all of you moms out there. I'm not, and that is why I will be able to devote more time to studying. When it comes to balancing, I feel that you need to write a list of what you feel is most important. Also, you may have to compromise on some stuff. I don't believe that you should compromise on your children, however. That time, you will never get back. However, for the OP, working full-time, having a family, going to school, church activities and weightloss...you really should reconsider your employment options at least for now (that is if school is more important). I am not saying it is going to be easy by any means. But if it were me...family and school would be most important. As much as I may hate cutting out the church activities (though going to church with the family once a week would combine both), the other things should be put on hold.

Wishing you the best!

krisssy · May 14, 2006

After being a mom and an educater for 25 years, I would like to stress that we are all different. Personally, I cannot handle more than one course at a time, and I am not working and have no youngsters at home. I am just a slow worker. I have to write (Now I type) everything I read to make sense of it. When I was in HS and undergraduate school, I didn't do well. In my ed and now nursing grad school , I got and get all A's, as I learned what I had to do to study. Nevcer compare yourself to anyone else. Never! Have to go. Feel free to ask me any questions.

Krisssy

allnurses Guide · May 19, 2006

I'm one of those with kids, homeschooling, Scout troops, church, etc. I do just one class at a time, and since I work nights (only 2), do a lot of my studying after the kids are in bed and the house is quiet. Set your priorities, schedule study time as well as family time, and don't let them interfere with each other.

My hospital helps with tuition, which helps. Is it possible to work part-time? Even drop just one shift a payperiod?

:balloons: Good luck and God bless. :balloons:

krisssy · May 19, 2006

Hi JBudd,

Firstly, I admire you so much. To home teach your children, work and go to school is amazing. I always worked as a teacher when my children were young. I gave up the nursing for many years, so I didn't have to work at night. Now my children are grown, I have a new husband, I am retired from teaching, and i want to go back to nursing. It is a strange feeling. I loved teaching, but I want to be a nurse before it's too late. I am going to graduate school to get an MS in mental health nursing. I am thinking of fitting in a second refresher course and seeing if I can get a hospital to hire me as a psych nurse with no experience. Then I could work two days a week and study the rest of the time. What does everyone think? Krisssy

allnurses Guide · May 22, 2006

Thanks Krissy,

I think it sounds like a plan! I'd try to get a fairly long orientation if possible, just to get eased in. We do up to 6 months for new ER folks.

(By the way, the kids are mainly self directed study :lol2: )