Baffled...

[aboucherrn]

I recently worked with a new grad RN who was absolutely disgusted because her patients did not thank her each and every time she did something for them. How can I delicately say "it's not about you"? Why do people want to be nurses these days... for themselves, or for the patients?

[LiveHigh2012]

along these lines... there's a great book out there called "choosing civility"... its pretty short, and a very easy/quick read, and basically teaches you how to live happily with other people. the ideas in it help when you're the one getting short-changed on politeness, and really makes you think about how to be the kind of person who everyone appreciates because you treat them well. i actually had to read it for my course about the art of nursing....

[Vespertinas]

Bravo for your school. There's one for the "why-don't-they-prepare-us-for-the-culture-of-nursing-in-nursing-school?" folks

[Sifty]

I am pretty sure this is the funniest thing I have ever read! If it is ok with you I am going to steal it....Rock on!

ETA: I guess I should have kept reading.....Consider it stolen!

Since I can't lay claim to it as I stole it. Please go ahead and steal away

It is great isn't it.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Great thread!!

Comparing our work to that of other 'service industry' folks like waiters is not exactly correct. After all, their customers actually have a choice about which business they patronize and when they choose to do so. Not so in the case of most patients - they are not there by choice. Hospitalization is not on my top ten places I enjoy. So why in the world would we expect to be thanked?? We're just doing the jobs we are paid to do. But (like me) that seems to be an old fashioned concept.

There aren't any gold stars in nursing. External rewards are thin on the ground for ministers, teachers, police, fire fighters, counselors, nurses, etc. The helping professions should not be entered by anyone who envisions a life of endless adulation for all the 'good works' performed.

[CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN]

And I get embarrassed when some patients say "thank you" for every little thing! But I don't expect it from most people, even when I know that I have managed something out of the ordinary.

I try to thank my caregivers when I am in the hospital or having a procedure. It's a two-way street, and I believe some people aren't raised to be very polite and/or appreciative.

I know...makes me feel weird being thanked for everything. OTOH, I felt like thanking everyone when I was in the hospital.

[Perpetual Student]

Great thread!!

Comparing our work to that of other 'service industry' folks like waiters is not exactly correct. After all, their customers actually have a choice about which business they patronize and when they choose to do so. Not so in the case of most patients - they are not there by choice. Hospitalization is not on my top ten places I enjoy. So why in the world would we expect to be thanked?? We're just doing the jobs we are paid to do. But (like me) that seems to be an old fashioned concept.

There aren't any gold stars in nursing. External rewards are thin on the ground for ministers, teachers, police, fire fighters, counselors, nurses, etc. The helping professions should not be entered by anyone who envisions a life of endless adulation for all the 'good works' performed.

The flip side of that is why would the patient feel entitled to care? Particularly those who're not paying? Shouldn't folks be grateful when someone anticipates their needs and works hard (doing more than the minimum standard of care) to keep them safe and comfortable?

It's a matter of simple manners to thank someone who does something for you.

[Good Morning, Gil]

lol, lighten up, people. Sifty was just being funny, and doesn't actually think that or he/she probably wouldn't be a nurse lol. We need to have a sense of humor! Even if it wasn't a quote from a show, it was funny nonetheless. I don't think you had to justify yourself, Sifty! :)

[DixieRedHead, ASN, RN]

"Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling"

Yes, it a terrible thing to say.

Do I love it? You betcha!

[kakamegamama]

I'm not too sure I'd worry about how to nicely tell her it's not about her. I would just tell her....sounds like she needs to hear it. When someone is sick/hurting the added stress may make the niceities such as "thank you" the last thing on the mind, although it is nice to hear it. But, if she's going to base her value on a "thank you", sounds like she has some maturing to do.

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

I thought it was funny and sadly, somewhat true. Is everyone a " bastard coated bastard, with bastard filling"? No, of course not. But a pretty good percentage of them are, and some are coworkers..

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

*** She better never become an ICU nurse. Hard for patien't to say "thanks" when they have that tube down their throat.................

Or an OR nurse, for that matter. People never remember us, due to all the anesthesia meds. It's not uncommon for the hospital to get letters from patients thanking pre-op, PACU and the surgeon. The OR nurses and techs rarely get mentioned, and when we do, it's never by name. Part of the gig, so it doesn't bother me.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

Or an OR nurse, for that matter. People never remember us, due to all the anesthesia meds. It's not uncommon for the hospital to get letters from patients thanking pre-op, PACU and the surgeon. The OR nurses and techs rarely get mentioned, and when we do, it's never by name. Part of the gig, so it doesn't bother me.

Hehe, thought that was the appeal, no awake patients.