Certainly, I'm quit sure I'm not the only nurse that has noticed this, let me explain what leaves me baffled with couples. For example, let's say a couple comes in seeking medical assistance. However, during triage the male,can't answer any questions asked by the nurse, even though there's no medical problem with his speech. Moreover, he has to look at his partner or wife to verify every single questioned asked. In addition, when asked what medication are you taking? once again they can't answer, and if the partner forgets their medication, they get upset with them. In addition, this is the time I take to educate the pt. and tell them that it's not your partner's duty, is your responsibility to know this information. Having said that, don't get me wrong, I understand if the pt. is in severe pain, and they can't answer these questions. However, the patients whom I'm referring to, are alert and able to answer. Therefore, I wonder what these people do when their other half is not present? This leaves me BAFFLED... I'm quite sure you have your own "Baffled moments with patients" I'm interested in hearing a few as well~
If I am in attendance, my husband always defers to me. When I say something about it to him, he says "You're the professional, you're the one who knows what you're talking about!"
He hates to go to the doc, and up until a couple of years ago, despite my best efforts and those of his physician, he could not tell you the exact purpose of his meds. He's very bright, has several degrees, holds a professional position of great responsibility...but will not take responsibility for some of these personal things. Now that one of our children shares his medical issues, he's suddenly become much more knowledgeable about the meds, symptoms, and treatments; but it took our child developing this to make him responsible.
He won't ask questions at the doc's if he doesn't understand something; he'll want me to explain it when he's home. Whether I was there or not.
It's given me quite a bit of insight into how people who have a mental block against health information work. If my smart, capable husband is overwhelmed and reluctant in learning about his meds and health, what is it like for the general population? It's changed how I teach about diet, meds, and activity, for sure.
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
My husband is also in the medical profession. He has severe GERD, and will sometimes sit bolt upright in the middle of the night clutching his stomach. I ask him if he has taken his Prevacid. He responds, "No. I don't LIKE to take pills all the time!" (Insert picture of me cursing all the way down the stairs at 2 am to fetch his medication.)
I had to practically DRAG him to our GP when he had experienced wheezing and coughing for more than a month. He refused to take Mucinex (the whole 'I don't like to take pills mantra, again), he refused to let me give him chest PT ("stop WORRYING over me!) and flat out refused to get a chest x-ray. Only when he experienced severe pain in his chest did he agree to see the GP. He had bilateral pneumonia and intercostal chondritis. What frustrates me is that he likely knew that he had both of these conditions, but thought that he could just 'get through it'. AAARRRGGGHH!!!
the original post, and the topic of this thread, was an observation of human behavior that we nurses encounter frequently. sometimes we can make stereotypes from these observations. that's the interesting thing about stereotyping, is that it has such a negative connotation, but yet there are studies that suggest that stereotyping is typically quite accurate.
i agree that there are a lot of comments on an that do seem to be a bit lacking in areas such as psychological insight and emotional intelligence, but that phenomenon is not limited to an.
which brings me to a side note, i understand you are not a nurse. may i ask what your occupation is, and what you expect to gain by participating on a discussion forum for nurses?"
stargazer: i agree that the lack of psychological insight isn't limited to allnurses, but my expectation (perhaps it's misguided) is that nurses should have a good handle on human psychology. although, i must say, i read a significant number of posts on allnurses as condescending also. some are unintentional as are mine. some are consciously condescending and use "venting" as an excuse. a few points in response to your last post:
i'd like to see the studies you refer to regarding stereotyping. i'll refer you to the work of dr. jerome groopman, esp. his book "how doctor's think," and several of his essays. also, atu gwande. groopman has focused on cognitive traps, or thinking errors that doctors (and nurses) fall into that sometimes result in fatal errors. these involve the use and misuse of heuristics. i don't deny the value of heuristics and stereotypes. but they also present dangers. frankly, i see too much generalization and stereotyping on allnurses, esp. regarding patient behavior.
you find my comment is indicative of a sense of superiority on my part? perhaps. we all have our egos. perhaps i have a background in psychology. you say you "understand" that i am not a nurse, and if that is true, what my background is and what i expect to gain from participating in this discussion. i'm not quite sure how you can know what anybody is or isn't on this blog. just because one says one's a nurse, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. this is the web, remember? what i hope to gain from participating, whether i'm a nurse or not, is to present some different perspectives on issues under discussion. i'm not saying i'm always right, but enjoy playing the devil's advocate, especially when i seen discourse moving in only one direction and everybody agreeing with everybody else with little objection.
my occupation is not relevant. the strength and validity of my arguments are relevant. they should stand or fall on reason and logic. but do remember this -- the verb "to nurse" is a transitive verb. that means it takes an object (not that patients are objects). but one doesn't "nurse" in a vacum. for the action to be complete, one needs a patient. the patient is the other half of the action. without the patient, there is no action. the patient's perspective is as valuable as the nurses or doctor's. i won't say more valuable. as valuable in its own way.
having said all that, i'll work on my occasional tendency to appear condescending and superior. that's not my intent. i just enjoy a robust debate, and i think that's important in any profession.
I'll be honest. I'm not going to read the books you've recommended to me. I have no interest. I'm currently reading a fiction piece that I am enjoying quite a bit, and will undoubtedly pick up the sequel when I'm finished. In addition, I'm not going to point to any research to back my assertions because that's not how I want to spend my time away from work, and you seem quite capable of searching the literature for yourself.
Whether or not you are a nurse *is* relevant to the context of this particular forum. This forum is called "All Nurses" because it is a place for nurses to gather and discuss topics relevant to their practice. Nice attempt at dodging my question, though.
Personally, I find the practice of "playing Devil's Advocate" insulting. It rubs me the wrong way, because the person engaging in this behavior is attempting to point out why a different point of view is the correct one, often without an understanding of the point of view of the other person. It's a way of invalidating the experience of another person, while appearing innocent; "Hey, no need to get defensive, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate!".
The reason you see so many agreeing with one another with so little objection is because, as nurses, we share common experiences, and can relate to one another as nurses experiencing these things. A lot of us come here because there are so many others that can relate to us, and thus provide a feeling of having a support system, for things that we can't discuss with non-nurses without being judged, as you are judging us for the content of our posts, labeling them as lacking in psychological insight.
If you were truly a student of the human psyche, here to learn about what life is like for nurses, how they interpret their experiences, and what things are like on their side of the bed, then your approach to participating here would be different.
I'll be honest. I'm not going to read the books you've recommended to me. I have no interest. I'm currently reading a non-fiction piece that I am enjoying quite a bit, and will undoubtedly pick up the sequel when I'm finished.
Whatcha reading? I just finished a book called Monday Mornings (highly recommend) and I'm looking for something new!
Gee, Stargazer. You so sure that you know who and what I am or am not. Dodging your question? I have absolutely no obligation to share any personal information with you. And because I don't, you jump to conclusions. Really logical reasoning. You've come to so many conclusions based on so little evidence. Tell you what -- I'll reveal all that personal information about me when everyone else on this blog is required to do the same. Then we'll really find out who is writing what. Sound fair? All we have on the web are words. That's all. Words. All we can do is read those words, put
them into sentences, and see if they make sense. You refuse to do that. You refuse to look at an argument and debate it. Apparently, it's because you have all the answers. You just assume, assume and assume, ask personal questions -- and if you don't get any answers, assume some more. You sound proud that you're not
willing to read an intellectual book relative to the profession. Okay. Enjoy your other book. I've read that series and it is great.
Gee, Stargazer. You so sure that you know who and what I am or am not. Dodging your question? I have absolutely no obligation to share any personal information with you. And because I don't, you jump to conclusions. Really logical reasoning. You've come to so many conclusions based on so little evidence. Tell you what -- I'll reveal all that personal information about me when everyone else on this blog is required to do the same. Then we'll really find out who is writing what. Sound fair? All we have on the web are words. That's all. Words. All we can do is read those words, put
them into sentences, and see if they make sense. You refuse to do that. You refuse to look at an argument and debate it. Apparently, it's because you have all the answers. You just assume, assume and assume, ask personal questions -- and if you don't get any answers, assume some more. You sound proud that you're not
willing to read an intellectual book relative to the profession. Okay. Enjoy your other book. I've read that series and it is great.
Looks like I struck a nerve.
The only "personal information" I asked was what you do for a living, and what you expect to gain by participating on a discussion forum for nurses.
I'll go first. I am a Registered Nurse, and I participate on AN in order to expand my knowledge base of nursing practice, commiserate with other nurses who understand the challenges I face in my practice, and to be entertained.
... I'm quite sure you have your own "Baffled moments with patients" I'm interested in hearing a few as well~
BluegrassRN
1,188 Posts
If I am in attendance, my husband always defers to me. When I say something about it to him, he says "You're the professional, you're the one who knows what you're talking about!"
He hates to go to the doc, and up until a couple of years ago, despite my best efforts and those of his physician, he could not tell you the exact purpose of his meds. He's very bright, has several degrees, holds a professional position of great responsibility...but will not take responsibility for some of these personal things. Now that one of our children shares his medical issues, he's suddenly become much more knowledgeable about the meds, symptoms, and treatments; but it took our child developing this to make him responsible.
He won't ask questions at the doc's if he doesn't understand something; he'll want me to explain it when he's home. Whether I was there or not.
It's given me quite a bit of insight into how people who have a mental block against health information work. If my smart, capable husband is overwhelmed and reluctant in learning about his meds and health, what is it like for the general population? It's changed how I teach about diet, meds, and activity, for sure.