Baffled

[GitanoRN]

Certainly, I'm quit sure I'm not the only nurse that has noticed this, let me explain what leaves me baffled with couples. For example, let's say a couple comes in seeking medical assistance. However, during triage the male,can't answer any questions asked by the nurse, even though there's no medical problem with his speech. Moreover, he has to look at his partner or wife to verify every single questioned asked. In addition, when asked what medication are you taking? once again they can't answer, and if the partner forgets their medication, they get upset with them. In addition, this is the time I take to educate the pt. and tell them that it's not your partner's duty, is your responsibility to know this information. Having said that, don't get me wrong, I understand if the pt. is in severe pain, and they can't answer these questions. However, the patients whom I'm referring to, are alert and able to answer. Therefore, I wonder what these people do when their other half is not present? This leaves me BAFFLED... I'm quite sure you have your own "Baffled moments with patients" I'm interested in hearing a few as well~

[BluegrassRN]

Game of Thrones, LOL.

I just spent the last four weeks of my life slogging through all five novels on the Kindle, with a map of the "world" pulled up on the computer to keep me from getting lost. His series really is quite a commitment.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I just spent the last four weeks of my life slogging through all five novels on the Kindle, with a map of the "world" pulled up on the computer to keep me from getting lost. His series really is quite a commitment.

I've been thinking I need a map!

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Okay, it was mean of me to psychoanalyze Cul2. I apologize.

As to the original topic of this exchange, I find the secondary gain that people get from learned helplessness or assuming the sick role to be fascinating. However, I'm not willing to lay it at the feet of the hospital. I think the roots of it go back to childhood experiences and family dynamics.

And thanks but no thanks on the reading recommendations. I'm really enjoying the book I'm reading now, and I've added "Stiff" by Mary Roach to my reading list. Between those and the professional journals I subscribe to, and the reference texts I frequently browse, I have enough to keep me occupied, thank you.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Mary Roach is awesome! I've read all her books. She's amazing. :yelclap:

So is Atul Gawande who wrote Complications and Better - A Surgeon's Notes on Performance.

How Doctor's Think is also very good.

The Woman With a Worn in Her Head is fascinating - by Pamela Nagami, M.D.

I love medical books. :redbeathe

[Silverdragon102, BSN]

closing for staff review

[Silverdragon102, BSN]

OK guys I am going to open this thread back up and politely ask that you stay to topic, any posts from this point on that are off topic to the thread will be deleted. I have also deleted several posts for personal attacks which we respectfully ask in Terms of Service doesn't happen.

We all have different points of view and I am sure we can put our points across without attacking each other.

Thread will close and stay close if members can't respect each other and not violate Terms of Service or can not stay on topic

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

i'm overwhelm with the responses from all the previous post on this topic. having said that, just yesterday i was making my rounds as i entered ed i heard a female pt. sobbing uncontrollably as her spouse/boyfriend was answering all the questions pertaining to what brought her to the emergency room that day. therefore, it has been established that is not exclusively a male trait, although is more prevalent in males

[destova]

There is a lot to be said for learned behavior. And I can't help but think of my Dad's comments when we recently talked about relationships

"You teach people how to treat you"

So very true, and in its own way, applicable to this situation on both topics (husbands that can't answer and patients that can't take care of their adl's).

Based on my experience and the couples I know that behave that way, the wives secondary gain is feeling important/needed, the husbands? Idk.

On the patient side of things, it is more of a cycle I think. Nurses with demanding patients that let them walk all over them become accustomed to having to do too much and then continue the habit with other patients who then expect it and perhaps return as demanding patients next visit. There seem to be a Lot of nurses and aides that are afraid to tell pts NO, when its actually doing the pt a disservice to enable and encourage needy behavior.

To the devils advocate: Some of the hospital based books sound interesting now that I've looked them up. Maybe I'll grab them with the b&n gift card that is burning a hole in my pocket :) If I do, I'll return with reviews. (If I do that, maybe you'll tell what your profession is. Curiosity is killing me)

[destova]

Aha! Cul2, I just looked at the threads you've started. I'm going to guess a Sociology grad student of some kind working on or having recently finished a thesis about the micro-society of Nursing? I'll take my winners prize in the form of student loan payments!

Ps, though old, those three threads are rather interesting and have given me something to think about. Great topic :)