Baffled

Altra, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

This is the primary reason that adult males under the age of 50, accompanied by a female significant other, and without really concerning symptoms, are some of my least favorite patients.

I address it. If a patient appears to have difficulty answering my questions, I assess orientation. "Do you know where you are right now?" "Can you tell me what day of the week it is?" It generally breaks the conversational co-dependency cycle, at least for the moment, and produces an A & O adult who can more appropriately explain his symptoms, history, etc. :smokin:

caliotter3 · Jan 31, 2012

Wouldn't have worked with my spouse, because you couldn't get him inside a hospital room. I had to go solo.

psu_213, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

I recently had a 30-something male pt who told me he would rate his pain as a "5 or 6" out of ten. The overbearing spouse/girlfriend, they chimed in with "honey, this pain is more like a 10." :uhoh3:

RNperdiem, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Maybe the guy has some form of dementia?

Or maybe the wife has become more like his mother so he doesn't even need to know the name of the meds he takes.

caregiver1977 · Jan 31, 2012

Sometimes it really isn't the fault of an overbearing female. Sometimes it is a male who does not want to take responsibility for ANYTHING so when ANYTHING goes wrong he can blame someone else. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, mug, postcard, etc...

Some of these guys are just this dependent. My husband is educated, highly intelligent, and speaks very well, but would probably act almost like the guy in the OP's post in a medical setting. My husband can't get himself awake and ready for work no matter how early he wakes up. So I have to do most things for him in the morning if I want us to have enough money to live on. I cringe everytime he works out of town. I have to call him from home to make sure he is up (sometimes more than once because he will go back to sleep). I think this man will be late for his own funeral!

Altra, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Or maybe the wife has become more like his mother so he doesn't even need to know the name of the meds he takes.

Sometimes it is a male who does not want to take responsibility for ANYTHING so when ANYTHING goes wrong he can blame someone else.
...
So I have to do most things for him in the morning if I want us to have enough money to live on.

Absolutely agree -- these are chosen behavior patterns on the part of both partners in a relationship.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Sounds to me like she's got him well trained.....be seen and not heard and speak only when spoken to.... :lol2:

AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Jan 31, 2012

My favorites are the ones that come solo, but then hold up a finger, say "Hold up." and proceed to CALL the SO on the cell phone and either play telephone relay or just hand me the phone and say "Ask them."

I think it's learned as well.

NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Its' because some men are over sized children. They need someone to speak for them, especially if they are going to the MD or hospital.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

Yes it's a male thing usually.

My father, although he is in his 80's is quite able to speak for himself. But a few months ago I dragged him to the ER, I thought pneumo. He sat there at triage and just pointed to me and actually said something to the effect that I'm only here because of her, eg. he shouldn't be asked because it was my idea to come, not his, thus all my problem - not his. Typical male response. I liked the gray-haired wise triage nurse who took my quick eye-roll as her door to tell him firmly, Netglow's Dad, I think you are the one who doesn't feel good, so you better just tell me yourself how you feel!" My dad slightly intimidated, followed her direct orders. HA!

MomRN0913 · Jan 31, 2012

Certainly, I'm quit sure I'm not the only nurse that has noticed this, let me explain what leaves me baffled with couples. For example, let's say a couple comes in seeking medical assistance. However, during triage the male,can't answer any questions asked by the nurse, even though there's no medical problem with his speech. Moreover, he has to look at his partner or wife to verify every single questioned asked. In addition, when asked what medication are you taking? once again they can't answer, and if the partner forgets their medication, they get upset with them. In addition, this is the time I take to educate the pt. and tell them that it's not your partner's duty, is your responsibility to know this information. Having said that, don't get me wrong, I understand if the pt. is in severe pain, and they can't answer these questions. However, the patients whom I'm referring to, are alert and able to answer. Therefore, I wonder what these people do when their other half is not present? This leaves me BAFFLED... I'm quite sure you have your own "Baffled moments with patients" I'm interested in hearing a few as well~

Surely. My ex husband is remarried. and he is still like that with ME! He claims "his memory suks"

There are some quite lazy men out there who feel the woman will take care of EVERYTHING!

If there other half isn't there, they simply lay down and die.