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Discussion

Awkward situation

I'm new here and this is my first post. I have enjoyed reading the board in the past and thought I'd seek some advice.

I feel really uncomfortable with a classmate. It is my own fault as I made a very stupid emotional mistake. She refuses to talk to me and it's become obvious to other classmates. Clinical starts soon and I'm worried about instructors and hospital staff noticing the tension between us. I don't want to come off unprofessional and this is causing me unwanted stress and anxiety.

This all came about because I sent a text to my classmate that was meant for my sister. In it I called her annoying because she cheated on an exam and received almost a perfect score. I only scored a 75 and was a bit down about it. She noticed this and told me "if it makes you feel any better I cheated." Well, it didn't make me feel any better, I was actually just really annoyed by it. So in the moment I fired off a text to my sister just to vent but sent it to the classmate instead.

I apologized to her and explained that I had no harsh feelings towards her. I told her I was not satisfied with my low score and should not have lashed out at her. She accepted but then later said that she could no longer speak to me. I apologized again and told her I understand where she is coming from. I thought I could move on and just focus on what I need to do but that is proving to be hard. I feel that she is trying to ruin my reputation with others, but I know that could just be paranoia on my part. Would you switch groups if you were in this situation? Even If I asked I'm not sure If I could at this point. I need to find a way to deal with this and perform my best at clinical.

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    No I would not switch groups. Look you made a mistake and you apologized. Start moving along. If there is going to be a problem let it be the other person's. Also, in real life you wouldn't be able to just switch groups if you worked with her. As for her cheating I think she was either pulling your leg or she is incredibly stupid to tell you such a thing.

    Act professionally towards this woman even when she is not present. Let her show herself up if she cannot behave in clinical.

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    So she cheated on the test, and somehow your the one that feels guilty and is apologizing? Who care's if you complained about it, I know I would have done the same if I were in your situation, as I think most people would. I would not let her get the best of you, continue on in your clinical and studies as if nothing happened. Become the bigger person and let that petty drama flow right off your back, Your studies is far more important than that! I know easier said than done.. wish you luck in dealing with this.

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    I agree with the previous posters. Don't let her problems become yours. Stay focused on your goal which is to complete the program. FYI: Got To Be More Careful with them texts!

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    I agree with the above poster. You've done nothing wrong, but she's somehow managed to get YOU apologizing to HER!!

    If she doesn't like you complaining about her cheating, she has two choices:

    A) Don't cheat

    B) Don't tell you about it after she's cheated.

    She's lucky you only told your sister....my school's honor code would require me to tell faculty.

    If the faculty DOES notice a problem....tell them what happened, you did nothing wrong.

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    Act professionally in clinical and in the classroom. Let her dig her own grave as it sounds like she's fast on her way if she not only cheated, but blabbed about it to a classmate. Besides, do you really want to be associated with a cheater? I'd get as far away from her as possible.

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    • Experts
    I agree with the above poster. You've done nothing wrong, but she's somehow managed to get YOU apologizing to HER!!

    Cheating and gossiping are two different things. The OP trash talked the classmate behind her back and got caught, the apology was deserved.

    OP, accept that your classmate no longer trusts you enough to pursue a friendship. Get over it.

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    Cheating and gossiping are two different things. The OP trash talked the classmate behind her back and got caught, the apology was deserved.

    OP, accept that your classmate no longer trusts you enough to pursue a friendship. Get over it.

    So texting your sister that you're annoyed because someone just bragged to you that they cheated and did well on a test that you didn't is trash talk? Really? It's not like she ran into the next person in her program and said, "you'll never guess what so & so told me."

    We'll have to agree to disagree. Anyone who tells me about something they knowingly did wrong (like cheating or stealing) shouldn't assume I'm going to be their accomplice and keep their secret.

    OP: you have nothing to apologize for. I wouldn't worry about losing a cheater's trust....would you ever really trust them?

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    Sounds to me like she is trying to distance herself from you because she admitted to cheating on the test and now she is regretting it. Ignore her and go about your business. Better yet, smile at her every time you see her... it will make her wonder what you are up to!! I, persnally, wouldn't want to be associated with someone who cheats and wouldn't waste time worrying about her.

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    • Author

    Thank you all for the comments. I don't think what I said in the text was all that bad against her. It was obviously a rant more about grades than her personally. I do feel that she is playing the victim and while I don't feel that I did anything wrong I can understand how she might feel. Maybe she thinks I've had something against her the whole time. I just feel as if I'm back in high school; we're both in are 30s btw. I was just hoping that since I apologized we could get past this. I know we won't be having lunch together but I was hoping for something at least civil. We are in a very small group and there arn't even hellos exchanged between us. When I happen to look in her direction she turns away. Well, I will just do my thing and not let this bother me. Thanks again.

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    Cheating and gossiping are two different things. The OP trash talked the classmate behind her back and got caught, the apology was deserved.

    OP, accept that your classmate no longer trusts you enough to pursue a friendship. Get over it.

    I understand that it is ind of like gossiping but I honestly don't feel like talking to your sister who doesn't even know the people that she's talking about is really gossip. She's not spreading stuff around school just venting to her sister who isn't even any part of it. It doesn't even say if she said her name in the text. I mean think about if you're just talking to someone where both parties are not in contact and don't know each other at all do you really think thats worse then cheating on an exam at school??? Sorry but I think thats just ridiculus, everyone needs someone to talk to and I would be upset by that too if my friend cheated and did good and I worked hard and did not do so well.

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    I agree with some of the other posters. My school honor code requires that you report cheating. If a cheater gets caught and the administration finds out you knew about it, you get kicked out with the cheater.

    My college is seriously strict because they had a situation with a group of students last year that was big news. They touched on this during our interviews with the DON and orientation and then at the beginning of every class.

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    • Experts

    To the OP:

    I hope you don't think people were giving you a hard time. I think that you can rise above this even if she doesn't. It doesn't take two to be civilized. Just be polite with her. If you walk in a room and say hello to others, say hello to her. If she snubs you it will speak volumes about her not you.

    I had a spat with someone at school and apologized profusely. She was hostile for weeks and weeks -- overtly so. Ultimately she got over it. We aren't best buds, but we work together in teams all the time.

    Honestly, sometimes she was so hostile I had to stop myself from laughing (I don't recommend that :D)

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