I'm new here and this is my first post. I have enjoyed reading the board in the past and thought I'd seek some advice.
I feel really uncomfortable with a classmate. It is my own fault as I made a very stupid emotional mistake. She refuses to talk to me and it's become obvious to other classmates. Clinical starts soon and I'm worried about instructors and hospital staff noticing the tension between us. I don't want to come off unprofessional and this is causing me unwanted stress and anxiety.
This all came about because I sent a text to my classmate that was meant for my sister. In it I called her annoying because she cheated on an exam and received almost a perfect score. I only scored a 75 and was a bit down about it. She noticed this and told me "if it makes you feel any better I cheated." Well, it didn't make me feel any better, I was actually just really annoyed by it. So in the moment I fired off a text to my sister just to vent but sent it to the classmate instead.
I apologized to her and explained that I had no harsh feelings towards her. I told her I was not satisfied with my low score and should not have lashed out at her. She accepted but then later said that she could no longer speak to me. I apologized again and told her I understand where she is coming from. I thought I could move on and just focus on what I need to do but that is proving to be hard. I feel that she is trying to ruin my reputation with others, but I know that could just be paranoia on my part. Would you switch groups if you were in this situation? Even If I asked I'm not sure If I could at this point. I need to find a way to deal with this and perform my best at clinical.
I hope you don't think people were giving you a hard time. I think that you can rise above this even if she doesn't. It doesn't take two to be civilized. Just be polite with her. If you walk in a room and say hello to others, say hello to her. If she snubs you it will speak volumes about her not you.
I had a spat with someone at school and apologized profusely. She was hostile for weeks and weeks -- overtly so. Ultimately she got over it. We aren't best buds, but we work together in teams all the time.
Honestly, sometimes she was so hostile I had to stop myself from laughing (I don't recommend that )
Hey-us catty women do waaaay worse to each other. You made a mistake, learn from it and grow. I doubt that the clinical area will be affected by this minor thing-you are both spending too much money and putting too much effort into nursing school. Just relax, be polite to her and all others, and double check who your texts go to lol.
As a prior cop, I used to see this stuff all the time. People who committed crimes would be mad at the police for catching them, or witnesses for "pointing fingers" at them. They seem to lack the intelligence to realize that they caused their own problem, and lack the maturity to accept the consequences of their behavior. You were much nicer to her than I would have been.
I was in my second year of my police career when I "stumbled" on a group of other cops who were dropping acid. I didn't even hesitate in turning them in. They were furious with me, and about half the dept. looked at me as if I had done the wrong thing by turning them in. I was attacked twice and received many death threats, but I never regretted it. I believe it was Burke who said "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"
I'm just guessing...but sarcasm isn't something that many people know about on this thread. I'm willing to bet she was just kidding about cheating. I'd be kinda mad too if I was just kidding about something, and you took it literally, then went and called me annoying? Now that is dramatic about the whole I can't talk to you thing. But some women are just dramatic. As a guy though..I'd just let it go.
Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate all the feedback. I know I have to get over it but we were friendly with each other and I genuinely don't like to make others feel bad. I think she was embarrassed that she cheated and since we were friendly didn't think I would be bothered by her cheating. @ kgh31386 she really did cheat. I saw her do it and she actually told me about it twice, right after the exam and then when we received our grades. I was annoyed by it both times and slightly more after she got an almost perfect score. When she told me about it the first time I was just surprised by her cheating because she was so against it in the past and talked about turning in those cheaters.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
As a prior cop, I used to see this stuff all the time. People who committed crimes would be mad at the police for catching them, or witnesses for "pointing fingers" at them. They seem to lack the intelligence to realize that they caused their own problem, and lack the maturity to accept the consequences of their behavior. You were much nicer to her than I would have been.
I was in my second year of my police career when I "stumbled" on a group of other cops who were dropping acid. I didn't even hesitate in turning them in. They were furious with me, and about half the dept. looked at me as if I had done the wrong thing by turning them in. I was attacked twice and received many death threats, but I never regretted it. I believe it was Burke who said "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"
As a current mom, I see this all the time too. Seems to be the normal behavior of teenagers. My son messes up in school or gets busted at home doing something he shouldn't have been, and yet somehow I am in the wrong, it isn't his fault, and even though he will say, "yea ultimately I am the one responsible for what I do" He still has the mentality it's still someone elses fault he is in trouble. They also learn to manipulate you in a way that YOU feel bad. Apparently some people don't grow out of it when they turn into adults. :p
Stay away from her and if others comment, I'd just say you have no problem and shrugg it off and move on. As long as you are professional and she's acting like a witch - she's the one who looks like an idiot and everyone will see she's causing the problem - not you!
Specializes in future OB/L&D nurse(I hope) or hospice.
You have done all that you can do, and I believe more than you should have done, so I would lay this to rest in your heart the best way you can and move on. The ONLY thing I believe you did wrong, and by accident, was send the text to her instead of your sister. Confiding in your sister is completely acceptable as she most likely doesn't even know this person. You are being the mature adult in this situation. Just let the past be the past and concentrate on your studies. Nursing school is stressful enough without this nonsense. It's obvious you have a genuine heart and will make an incredible nurse. God Bless
Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate all the feedback. I know I have to get over it but we were friendly with each other and I genuinely don't like to make others feel bad. I think she was embarrassed that she cheated and since we were friendly didn't think I would be bothered by her cheating. @ kgh31386 she really did cheat. I saw her do it and she actually told me about it twice, right after the exam and then when we received our grades. I was annoyed by it both times and slightly more after she got an almost perfect score. When she told me about it the first time I was just surprised by her cheating because she was so against it in the past and talked about turning in those cheaters.
I promise you didn't make this woman feel badly. If she cheats she has other stuff going on. Also, if this woman cheats you really need to stay away from her -- especially while taking tests. I would be much more worried about people thinking I too cheated -- guilt by association. She should be embarrassed by her cheating.
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:p
DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN
1,565 Posts
To the OP:
I hope you don't think people were giving you a hard time. I think that you can rise above this even if she doesn't. It doesn't take two to be civilized. Just be polite with her. If you walk in a room and say hello to others, say hello to her. If she snubs you it will speak volumes about her not you.
I had a spat with someone at school and apologized profusely. She was hostile for weeks and weeks -- overtly so. Ultimately she got over it. We aren't best buds, but we work together in teams all the time.
Honestly, sometimes she was so hostile I had to stop myself from laughing (I don't recommend that
)