I will begin by telling you a little about myself. I have always been a straight A student and never in trouble with the law. I got married when I was 20 and then started nursing school. Everything was great until 2003 (my senior year of nursing school) when my husband cheated on me with my sister. This was the start of a criminal record for me. 2 counts misdemeanor assault, originally charged as felonies. I was put on 1 year probation. I managed to graduate cum laude and already had my foot in the door working at a great hospital. However, due to being on legal probation I was given a probationary nursing license. I think perhaps due to the tremendous strain going on in my personal life I was not as focused as I should have been. One day when I was about to come off orientation I had a patient with hourly blood sugars in which the aide was to get the blood sugars and myself (RN) was to adjust the insulin pump. The aide got behind and falsified a blood sugar which I brought to the attention of my preceptor. She was fired and I went about my day. As many nurses do, I charted at the end of the day and filled in my blood sugar sheet as I would have adjusted everything not thinking about the falsified one. Since I did not adjust the insulin to the fake blood sugar, but wrote that I did, I was fired for false documentation. During the month of my unemployment I became very sick but did not have health insurance, so when I started my new job I tried to get to the doctor asap. I was assigned to a preceptor and not taking my own patients yet. We had only 2 patients and the floor was very slow. My preceptor said it would be ok for me to go to the doctor and come back. My mistake was not okaying this with the director. I got fired again for patient abandonment. I feel embarrassed even saying any of this. So, I ended up unemployed again, and in a abusive relationship. I felt the only way I could get away from him was to get a job. Since my allegations were not of public record yet, I lied on an application to get a job in another city. I got it. I had to get an attorney to fight having my license revoked and he told me I had to come clean with my employer because the settlement was going to involve a suspension. So myself, my attorney, my director and the VP of nursing sat down and I spilled my guts as well as many tears. To my surprise they did not fire me, but put me on a probation with the hospital. I fell in love with that place and vowed I would never leave. They knew all my dirt and gave me a chance. I worked there more than 2 years when my worst nightmare happened. On my day off I took one of my dad's percocets for some back pain. The next day they UA'd me (they had been doing so about every 6 mos due to my probation). It was pos. I had no prescription to be taking such a drug. I was fired. I am still in shock. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Wondering how I could have been so stupid. Now I sit here unemployed-again- with a criminal record and serious actions taken against my nursing license. I tried to get another job, but employers dont hire people with my record, understandably. I thought about joining the military, trying to go back to school, working in fast food again. Nothing sounds good but nursing and I dont think there is any going back for me. Thats my nightmare in a nutshell. I've heard plenty of advise but all from people not in this profession. I'd like to hear what another nurse has to say. Am I finished?
Because of being fired for a pos UA, the board of nursing requested me to take a drug and alcohol eval. My recommendation was for 6 outpatient drug counseling sessions. As of right now this is all the bon wants me to do. Its still pretty early as far as knowing what my discipline is. My concern is that while I can comply with the bon as far as what they want me to do, what about future employers? What do I have to show them that I have learned from my mistakes and can be a valuable asset to their facility? Are there any classes, support groups, anything for people in my boat that I can complete or be a part of to assist in this? I will probably end up working in a restaurant for awhile, or joining the military (which scares the heck out of me). I just dont know what I can do that would be something positive in the eyes of future employers.
amc7791 - I'm sorry you are in a bad predicament. Don't think the military is the right idea either. First of all, they don't want folks who use drugs, prescription or otherwise. And...yes, while the military is strict and has routine, they are much more unforgiving than the BON. A "general discharge," "less than honorable discharge" or "bad conduct discharge" will follow you forever with no chance for fixing it.
The military doesn't "fix" people. They already have enough problems.
First of all, let me say that I strongly feel you should find a new career, as well as get involved in some sort of mental health counseling. I know that this is not what you want to hear, however it is what you NEED to hear. I am sorry that you are in an abusive relationship, and I do not agree with the people who feel that staying in an abusive relationship is a choice. Some people do not have anywhere else to go. Unfortuantly, many of shelter are in a very bad part of town with very bad people doing unspeakable things. At least that is the case in state which I live. However, I do not feel that your abusive relationship is any excuse for the wrong choices you have made. First and foremost, what you did , whether it was an accident or not involving the false documentation is a matter of patient safety. As a nurse your 1st thought should have been this acu check that the aid fasified. Patients have died due to errors involving their diabetes and I am thankful that your patient was not harmed as a result. Now, the question that comes to mind when reading this situation is why your preceptor did not notice this error in your documentation, and why she/he was not penalized, as well?
Next, lieing on you application shows where you stand morally and ethically. I know it can be a very scary situation when you have to admit your wrong doings to a possible employer. I myself have made wrong choices in the past, however, if I lie then I am still that same person and I don't deserve to be a nurse.
Lastly, taking a perscription drug that is not yours is something that we as nurses are supposed to teach our patients not to do. So, considering you did the very thing we teach not to do is another reason why I feel nursing is not for you.
Let me say that reading your post I could see the embarressment in your writing, but at no point in time did you truly take responsibility for your actions. With every mistake you discribed to us, you made an excuse for yourself by saying that it was b/c of this person or that person on why this happened, and I have a feeling there is more to your nightmare then you lead on. Regarless, you do need help. Before you decide on what you are going to do for your future, I would suggest for you to get yourself and your life in order, or else you will continue down this road.
While I appreciate everyone's thoughts one my situation, both positive and negative, I find that perhaps one of my strong points (or weakness depending on the situation) is that someone telling me I can't do something makes me want to prove all the more that I can do it. I am a believer that if you work hard enough for something that you can achieve whatever goal you set for yourself. I never said that what I did wasn't my fault, just explained the situation as how I saw it. I gave up on myself and life in general at one point. When you give up on life you would be surprised what a mess you can make out of it. Compared to how life was 1-2 years ago, things improved dramatically. The problem is the things I tucked away and repressed deep inside my brain that I never dealt with, just tried to pretend they dont exist. Is there alot more to the story I haven't told, you bet. Perhaps the most valuable thing I have learned from my experiences is that we are all people that other people really can not judge. God is the only one that can truly see what is in our souls. While it is true that nursing is not what I should be doing until I deal with issues I have repressed, I dont think it is fair to say that I should never do it again. To be completely honest with you, there was a time that going to work and loving what I did was the only thing that kept me half way sane. I will work out my problems and I will go back to nursing again, a better, happier, healthier, (and yes, more ethical) person. And if I decide I want to serve my country, who is to say I couldn't do it and do it well? Who said I was going to be popping pills in the military? I am not addicted to drugs. And while it seems to lots of people, including myself, that I was given multiple opportunities to change my ways and didn't, that I can't ever change my ways? While I feel quite old some days, the truth is I am very young, with so many years ahead of me. I will not give up on what I want out of life no matter what anyone tells me. Im not saying what I did wasn't wrong, or that I am not responsible, I am just not condemning myself. To give up is to truly be without hope. And what is life without hope? I may be beating my head against the wall on this one, but I will do it until the day I die.
Specializes in Peds,ER, Management, Critical Care.
Your biggest problem is that you have no moral compass. False documentation......lied to get a job....taking prescription med that isn't your's.
If you can join the military and be a nurse there, and you don't have any kids to consider, I would do that. Would give you a chance. Otherwise, you may have to find another career.
Mudwoman, why would you advise that she try the military????? As a career Army retiree she's the last person I'd want taking care of me or one of my loved ones. It's time too try a new career field.
While I appreciate everyone's thoughts one my situation, both positive and negative, I find that perhaps one of my strong points (or weakness depending on the situation) is that someone telling me I can't do something makes me want to prove all the more that I can do it. I am a believer that if you work hard enough for something that you can achieve whatever goal you set for yourself. I never said that what I did wasn't my fault, just explained the situation as how I saw it. I gave up on myself and life in general at one point. When you give up on life you would be surprised what a mess you can make out of it. Compared to how life was 1-2 years ago, things improved dramatically. The problem is the things I tucked away and repressed deep inside my brain that I never dealt with, just tried to pretend they dont exist. Is there alot more to the story I haven't told, you bet. Perhaps the most valuable thing I have learned from my experiences is that we are all people that other people really can not judge. God is the only one that can truly see what is in our souls. While it is true that nursing is not what I should be doing until I deal with issues I have repressed, I dont think it is fair to say that I should never do it again. To be completely honest with you, there was a time that going to work and loving what I did was the only thing that kept me half way sane. I will work out my problems and I will go back to nursing again, a better, happier, healthier, (and yes, more ethical) person. And if I decide I want to serve my country, who is to say I couldn't do it and do it well? Who said I was going to be popping pills in the military? I am not addicted to drugs. And while it seems to lots of people, including myself, that I was given multiple opportunities to change my ways and didn't, that I can't ever change my ways? While I feel quite old some days, the truth is I am very young, with so many years ahead of me. I will not give up on what I want out of life no matter what anyone tells me. Im not saying what I did wasn't wrong, or that I am not responsible, I am just not condemning myself. To give up is to truly be without hope. And what is life without hope? I may be beating my head against the wall on this one, but I will do it until the day I die.
Sometimes the things we want are not the things we should have, (or do in this matter). I am glad that you are refusing to give up, and I never meant for you to take what I wrote in that way. If I had I given up close to 10 years ago, I would not have my wonderful husband, children, or even my life. I agree that when people say for us not to do something it makes us strive even harder. In my opinion,(what you asked in your 1st post), is that nursing is not for you. The reason I feel this way is because you have so much going on and need to work through a lot of issues before you can care for anyone. Try for a moment to consider if I was you and you are a family memeber of a patient I am caring for. Now,....knowing what wrong choices I have made, do you really feel safe leaving your loved one with me?? This is the way that I am looking at it. The most important part of nursing is our patients. To be a nurse when we are continually making wrong decisions unconsiously is a very dangerous situation. This is all I am saying. Now, you are right, if you can get your life together and get help for your issues, then what's to say you can't return to nursing then. I have a feeling that if and when you decide to get help, you will understand what many of us are saying.
To Trs024, thanks for understanding. While my choices were wrong, I appreciate you understanding that I am not a bad person. I am glad things are pulling through for your sister. As of right now I am just not sure what direction to take but am hoping things will improve somehow. Even if I have to wait several years before I can practice again, just knowing that I will be able to do it again would be hope enough for me. I have worked in the healthcare field for 10 years and am so in love with caring for patients I can't see myself never being able to do it again. Thanks for the encouragement. To MiaNJ, the problem in my situation was that I was on probation at this hospital already. Which should have been a red flag to me that there was no room for error. I was a good nurse. I was nominated employee of the month. Recognized by my patients several times in our newsletter as being an excellent nurse. However, in the healthcare field we are expected to uphold high standards not only at work but in our personal lives as well. By my taking a drug not prescribed to me was unethical. I had no room for error. Back pain or not, I should have gone to a doctor. I did tell my employer I did not have a prescription. Unethical. Terminated. Even though I did not feel any effects of the percocet the next day, the fact it was in my urine constituted working under the influence. Perhaps if it had been prescribed and I had informed my employer it would have been a different story. To anyone thinking of nursing or new to the health care field, take it from me, since I know. Your license and ability to do the job you love is a privilege, not a right because you went to school. Your character is being judged inside and outside of work and that privilege can be taken away at any time. Then proving you wont do it again, or that you really are a good nurse starts to look like a bunch a talk with no action behind it.
Thanks for the explanation. I was a bit worried that I would have to notify my nursing manager every time I took Percocet or some other strong drug. I have to take it at least 2-3 times a month since I have endometriosis and it's extremely painful, that not even regular extra strength Motrin helps. I do have my own Rx from my doctor though. But I didn't want to have to divulge personal medical info to my manager.
I hope you find a job soon. I think you shouldn't give up, and just think positive and continue to live your life positively, aiming to succeed.
I don't think you should totally give up nursing yet.
Mooseman, want to know what the scary thing is? How do you know that the person caring for you or your loved one, or serving your country, wasn't having the same problems I am at one point in time? Perhaps you defy human nature and have no skeletons in your closet, but a lot of people do. I am a believer in rehabilitation. I condemn no one. While I do agree safety of the patients is number one priority and I shouldn't care for anyone right now, I would not say I could never do it again. See you in the hospital.
Um you have 2 misdeamonors I don't think you could join the military as a Nurse since thats an officer role. You would need to pass a security clearance (which includes major background checks). You would also be responsible of soldiers. Not to be mean but I was a soldier (Army veteran), and I have never met an officer with misdeamonors before. Being an officer soldiers and nco's have to listen to your orders. It would look wrong to have someone who was abusive or with a criminal past to be ordering soldiers around in a combat situation or garrison situation. Also, you can not have a record of spousal or physical abuse to have a weapon.
Personally I would not have wanted a Platoon Leader as a former abuser (you may not think you are but you were charged as one, and you failed a drug test for something you should have NOT taken). I know I know you are sorry you took it and know you shouldn't have but STOP being the victim and look at your life on a whole.
I think you need to rethink the military, I would doubt you would even get in but you could talk to a recruiter but personally I don't think you need the military. I think you need to work with a counselor to figure out what is going wrong. Even with the assistance of a Life coach and a regular counselor I think you would benefit from these 2 people. But the military is a wrong decision, you would be trying to escape your past and NOT fixing it. Obviously your past caught up to you in the last job you had even though they kept you. Please work on fixing yourself. Once that is done then I think you will find your life more easier and less chaotic.
Because of being fired for a pos UA, the board of nursing requested me to take a drug and alcohol eval. My recommendation was for 6 outpatient drug counseling sessions. As of right now this is all the bon wants me to do. Its still pretty early as far as knowing what my discipline is. My concern is that while I can comply with the bon as far as what they want me to do, what about future employers? What do I have to show them that I have learned from my mistakes and can be a valuable asset to their facility? Are there any classes, support groups, anything for people in my boat that I can complete or be a part of to assist in this? I will probably end up working in a restaurant for awhile, or joining the military (which scares the heck out of me). I just dont know what I can do that would be something positive in the eyes of future employers.
I would never judge you, but were you aware that they could drug test you? It was a real error in judgement on your part, but take it as a learning experience. That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
I am extricating myself and my son out of an abusive relationship, and it is difficult and not as easy as walking out the door. Believe me, I know. Hard to "wake a sleeping giant" as a new friend pointed out to me.
As for your problems with the BON, you may want to visit this site:
gr8rnpjt, thanks for the website. I will definitely look at it. Cherish, thank you for saying what you had to say in a constructive way. I have talked with a recruiter and there are some waivers I would have to get through. I am also aware that I would not be able to do anything medical at all due to clearance issues, like you mentioned. And no, I would not expect anyone to take orders from me, I need to learn to take orders and follow them. I was told that if I get in, there would only be certain jobs I could take. I would also not be able to enter as an officer. What I find appealing about it is I would have to look into other jobs. Who knows? Maybe (but doubtful) I would find something I enjoy doing and am good at other than medical things. Probably the most appealing thing is that it gives me something to work for. I have something to prove. The recruiter also told me that if I were to complete my enlistment and job satisfactorily I may be able to go into a job requiring clearance, that is if I prove myself worthy. Right now, being in civilian world, how can I prove anything to anybody? I cant get a job due to my poor decisions, so I can do something to prove myself, or I can just do nothing. It is rather difficult to pay student loans, rent, util, car payments, go to counseling, etc. when you have no job and no insurance. I know everyone is going to have their opinions, good and bad, of what I should do regarding this, but I am the only one in my shoes. When someone messes up and is a big loser (so to speak) society overall (not everyone) condemns them, puts them down, judges them. When someone succeeds after being where I am we congratulate them. Once again I would like to thank those of you that were encouraging, because that is what I need. One day I hope to return the favor to someone in need of some encouragement when I am in a happier, healthier, more successful place.
Well, I was a major screw-up for a long time, amc, and only an alcohol withdrawal seizure awakened me - and even then, it took me another year to quit drinking.
amc7791
11 Posts
Because of being fired for a pos UA, the board of nursing requested me to take a drug and alcohol eval. My recommendation was for 6 outpatient drug counseling sessions. As of right now this is all the bon wants me to do. Its still pretty early as far as knowing what my discipline is. My concern is that while I can comply with the bon as far as what they want me to do, what about future employers? What do I have to show them that I have learned from my mistakes and can be a valuable asset to their facility? Are there any classes, support groups, anything for people in my boat that I can complete or be a part of to assist in this? I will probably end up working in a restaurant for awhile, or joining the military (which scares the heck out of me). I just dont know what I can do that would be something positive in the eyes of future employers.