Artificial feeding-Terri Schiavo

[ktwlpn]

I posted this here becaue I think this subject is something that we as nurses deal with on a regular basis.....Many many people state that they have a big problem with the feeding being stopped "allowing her to starve to death" The Vatican says " To starve her to death is pitiless" Most everyone agrees that it is one's right to refuse to initiate artificial feeding but somehow this situation "is different" How? The patient "starves to death " in both cases-so why has this one galvanized the WORLD? My husband read me a quote from the Bible -forgive me because I can't remember it in detail-it was something along the lines that a woman marries and leaves her father's house and her husband becomes her family....My husband is my POA I hope no-one in my family questions his motives -He KNOWS exactly what I want....I can't question her husbands motives-I know that some suspect foul play and state the results of a bone scan support this...That bone scan was obtained 53 months after she went into her coma-after her body suffered the effects of her eating disorders for a number of years.... Her present level of responsiveness does not pertain to this matter IMHO-she CAN'T eat naturally--she did not ever want to "be kept alive like that " and she can't state otherwise at this point...So- #1 can someone PLEASE make me see why this case is" DIFFERENT" and #2 How do YOU support your patients and their loved ones when they are agonizing over this decision? ONe thing I always ask is "Did your loved one ever give you any idea of what they would want if something like this happened" and if they did then I advocate that stance for that pt as much possible.......I believe that death is the last great trip we'll go on and we should PLAN it as much as possible.The greatest GIFT we can give to our loved ones is an itinerary...........

[Kabin]

In this case, the only relevant wishes are the patient's. And Terri's are finally being carried out.

[Jenny99]

Hi Everyone,

Being a critical care nurse for so many years and having seen families "fight" over the ill and/or disabled family member laying in the bed for what ever the reason, is so disgusting. One side keeps the patient alive - on a ventilator with a flat EEG for example is so cruel. I guess money or the whatever else the dispute is about, is more important than the dying patient to them.

Terri's family - both sides - will someday realize that the "fighting" that went on was not worth it. No one, won the "fight" here. The attorneys made their money, the media had their "field day", our Legislative bodies made spectacles of themselves and Terri will still be gone.

Let Terri pass in peace. Regardless of who was right and who was wrong. Let her die in peace. She deserves that much. She will have a place in heaven.

Jenny99

[dmb219]

....I hope you all get those Advance Directives written-talk with your friends and families..As I said earlier-death is the last trip we take and we should make sure our loved ones have our intinerary. ...I am in awe of this thread and impressed that it has remained civil for this long.... My thoughts and prayers go out to all------not just the 2 families that are front and center in this debate but everyone that is struggling with the loss of a loved one....I hope this case does to bring a continued awareness to the importance of Living wills and and a more openess with death and end of life issues..Much of our society has hidden,denied or attempted to pretty it up for too long.It is a natural part of life.What is becoming un-natural is our ability to sustain the body...Should we do so just because we can? What happens when the healthcare system collapses from the strain? We have to face that there are going to HAVE to be limits set eventually-Our resources ARE finite.........That's it for me tonite.................................A final note----Peace and love to all......

I've been trying to think of a way to express my feelings on this subject, but you have done it for me and very eloquently, I might add. I work at a large nursing home and we have become very capable of sustaining the body, often after the spirit has left I believe. Advance Directives are so important - they put things in black & white so that loved ones aren't forced to make gut-wrenching decisions. If there are no directives, things can get tough as we all can see. Life should have some quality. Keeping a body alive with nutrition or fluids pumped into it by a machine when there is no chance for recovery is not how anyone would want to live, unless that is specified by that person. There comes a time for everyone to let it go and give up the fight; it isn't wrong to do that, and I don't think it is wrong for a significant other to make that decision if it is time.

[jeepgirl, LPN, NP]

Of all the pics and videos shown, why are there no recent ones? Like in the last year or from earlier this year.

this is per court order via mike schiavo.

[danu3]

Dan, most of the information I've been getting is from the reports in the newspaper here where Terri lives. St. Pete Times. www.sptimes.com

Lately however, I've not been reading much, but nothing new has come to light.

Thanks Tweety. I looked at it briefly and saw an article "Legal battle over, parents seek miracle" which basically say the parents are giving up the legal battle and Terri is entering the "dying" phase. If it is true, I know the Hospice staff will take good care of her since that is their specialty.

It looks like Terry will die soon. I guess I'll say a couple of prayers for her now (and other people can join in too if they want):

"Dear God, we lift up Terri to you now as she is nearing death. May you bring her home to you and grant her peace. May the hospice staff be your vechile of compassion and comfort for Terry as they use their expertise to control pain, the expertise which you have graciously given them. May you also grant the hospice staff the special grace to comfort the parents and the husband and all those who are involve intimately.

You are the one who knows the heart of the parents and the husband. So may you bring good people to surround the parents and to journey with them in this difficult road of grief. For they have a strong bond with their daughter whom they care for and loved for over a decade. Help them now to let go of Terry to you as we know it is extremely painful for them. Please see their tears and hear their cries and comfort them with your mercy.

You know the husband's heart and so we pray the same for the husband. That your comfort and peace will be with him also. That you would bring good people around him also to walk with him in this difficult and tiring time.

We are not praying for a miracle that you heal Terry. But we would like to pray for a miracle that there will be healing for both parties someday.

Dear God, may you bring good out of this mess for this society. Protect us from emotional actions that we will regret later. Let there be healing between all parties as we may have said hurtful things to people who see differently than we do.

Again we pray for Terri, may you bring her home now in peace and comfort. Amen"

I would like to close with a short Christian prayer for the all the family members since they are Christian: "Grant, O Lord, to all who are bereaved the spirit of faith and courage, that they may have strength to meet the days to come with steadfastness and patience; not sorrowing as those without hope, but in thankful remembrance of your great goodness, and in the joyful expectation of eternal life with those they love. And this we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen"

-Dan

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Amen

Dan, that was a very nice prayer.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Amen

Dan, that was a very nice prayer.

Agree. Very nice, sincere, and heartfelt.

Amen. And thank you.

[Twinkle Toes]

I know this sounds crude, but Terri's parents obviously have postponed their own grievance process and refused to deal with the idea that their daughter was to die. Unfortunately, Terri should have died a long time ago. In my opinion, the parents are very selfish at this point.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I know this sounds crude, but Terri's parents obviously have postponed their own grievance process and refused to deal with the idea that their daughter was to die. Unfortunately, Terri should have died a long time ago. In my opinion, the parents are very selfish at this point.

steph

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I know this sounds crude, but Terri's parents obviously have postponed their own grievance process and refused to deal with the idea that their daughter was to die. Unfortunately, Terri should have died a long time ago. In my opinion, the parents are very selfish at this point.

I come across cases all the time, where a family memebers love and denial of reality causes them to not let go, or continue futile treatment. It might be selfish in that they are keeping their family members alive for themselves, rather than the best interests of the patient. Sometimes, I literally want to shake them and scream "DON'T YOU GET IT!".

However, I don't judge them that harshly because it goes way beyond that. It comes from carrrying a child for nine months, raising them and loving them beyond description. Or from any kind of good relationship with the dying one.

Death of a loved one is a complicated thing. To label "selfish" is not a good thing. I hope in your practice as a nurse, you aren't so harsh, but a bit more supportive.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

I come across cases all the time, where a family memebers love and denial of reality causes them to not let go, or continue futile treatment. It might be selfish in that they are keeping their family members alive for themselves, rather than the best interests of the patient. Sometimes, I literally want to shake them and scream "DON'T YOU GET IT!".

However, I don't judge them that harshly because it goes way beyond that. It comes from carrrying a child for nine months, raising them and loving them beyond description. Or from any kind of good relationship with the dying one.

Death of a loved one is a complicated thing. To label "selfish" is not a good thing. I hope in your practice as a nurse, you aren't so harsh, but a bit more supportive.

Couldn't agree more. Thank you. :)

[Kabin]

Be a supportor, not an enabler.