I graduated in May and started my first job as an RN in July on a busy surgical floor at a local hospital minutes from my home. It was a perfect set up. The nurses I worked with were awesome, the supervisors were supportive and helpful, and as mentioned before, it was minutes from my house. The problem was I was about to be off orientation and I was terrified! I am definitely not cut out to be a floor nurse. The thought of taking care of 5-8 patients all by myself scared me to death!! I felt overwhelmed and worried that I was going to miss something when I no longer had my preceptor to catch me when I fall. The type of fear I was feeling wasn't normal new grad fear. It was clearly my personality and I can't change that. Anyone who has been a floor nurse should know what I mean. You either can do it or you can't. And it's not safe to "wing it." I recognized this was not where I belong as a nurse. I was always running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. So, needless to say, I decided to leave my job. Now I am unemployed and truly worried I have wasted the past 4 years of my life going to school for a career that I am not going to be able to do. My husband and parents think I'm a failure. I'm beginning to believe it also.
I love patient care and would work a lot better in an environment where I could spend more one-on-one time with my patient, but where are jobs like that when you don't have experience? And now I'm worried it will look bad that I quit a job after 3 months, but I truly felt like something bad was going to happen if I didn't get out now. I have applied at 2 dialysis centers, ECT, and considering correctional nursing. But again, all of those positions state experience required. I applied anyway, but not feeling too confident.
If anyone has any sound advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.