Are "real" nurses as mean as my future instructors?

eriksoln, BSN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

To answer your question..........Yes and No. lol, does that help?

Honestly, some places are more toxic than others. I know its hard finding jobs, but don't just jump on the first opportunity you get. Be sure to find a place that will support you during your first year. A place that has a lot of experienced nurses (not a place with half of its staff being within the first six months of working). Ask what the orientation process is like. Some managers will have an answer, some won't......and some will get defensive about it. You'll be able to tell which ones consider a proper orientation a priority and which don't.

I've seen some pretty toxic work environments. At the unit I am on now, many vet. nurses put off their mistakes and blame the newer nurses for it. It happens a lot. Don't know how that got started, but its way too common. Things like this will stunt your learning as a new nurse. Be respectful and detail oriented, but don't be a push over either. There is a difference between passive and assertive.........if you are passive you will open yourself up to being picked on.

shoegalRN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

I'll go read your post in students after this, but without knowing the details, I will say, as an instructor, we try to be supportive, but many students think they come to the table on day 1 and know everything, and should be allowed to do as they please. With the seriousness of this profession, it doesn't work that way. You will earn respect, not just get it handed to you. Once you start proving yourself through diligence, you will see a change. And the same goes for once you start work. I've seen many pass their boards that have absolutely NO business taking care of anyone.....again, you have to earn the respect, it won't be handed freely

Another thing I would like to add to this post:

Just because you were a straight A student in nursing school, passed boards with 75 questions in less than an hour, and impressed your clinical instructor with how much you "know", doesnt mean that it works like that in the real world of nursing.

Once you become a nurse working under your own license, you will have to humble yourself and realize how much you just DONT know. I don't care how they taught you in nursing school to do such and such, it's plain different in the real world of nursing. And if you think your co-workers are gonna automatically take you under their wing, you are mistaken. You have to earn respect, asks tons of questions to the experienced nurses, and learn to ask for help. Admit when you don't know something instead of trying to "act" like you are on the same level of knowledge as the most experienced nurses. Only time and experience will get you there.

You will realize nursing school is a walk in the park compared to your first year of working as a RN.

netglow, ASN, RN · Dec 11, 2009

Heck yeah, some of 'em. Doesn't look like you've experienced a true nutjob in either place yet... LOL. :yeah:Gonna be a wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, ride... and then your done. :eek:

Supernrse01, BSN · Dec 11, 2009

You will come to love most of your instructors. They will become a great support system. In my nursing school, the instructors were tough throughout but were more so before they got to know us. In the beginning, they are trying to figure who indeed will be able to handle the program. They only want the people who are going to take things seriously. If they are joking around and such during orientation, then people are going to get the wrong impression. Nursing school is hard and takes dedication. You will run into some nurse who are "mean" but you will also encounter those nurses that will change you outlook on situations and those that will teach you more than you could ever imagine.

Dakovich · Dec 12, 2009

Thanks for all the replies! I had a talk with my mother today, also a long time nurse, and she has said a bunch of the same things you all have said. She mentioned how in the past fellow nurses called her a kissup for doing extra work and going above and beyond. She said she did the extra work because she was very pationate about her job and knew the positive impact it would have for her, the floor, the hospital, and most importantly her patients. She kept working hard, always stayed professional and watched those people who tried to get her down pretty much hang themselves over time. She told me that if you get caught up in the catty stuff you'll be dragged down. Today, she has worked her way up and is now the Palliative/Hospice Care Coordiantor for two hospitals, and she still sees people who try and drag others down with poor attitudes and unprofessional behavior. Another thing she said is that the problem with nursing is that once you're settled into the job you can choose to be as professional as you want to be. Some people take the job seirously and work their tails off, and some do the bare minimum and don't give the career the respect it deserves. You've got to choose to be the best you can be.

karenchad · Dec 12, 2009

Interesting point -Eriksoln- what is the mid point between passive and assertive? Alot of the dymanics that go on in nursing, refuse and sabotage that assertive place. If you are assertive- your words/sentances are twisted to the NM and coworkers, and endings up in a he said/she said situation. This creates the intimidation factor. This is vicious spirited and it is well thought out. It destroys the cooperation, teamwork and collaborating that is SUPPOSED to be going on. This is not a miscommunication issue. Those are easy. It's the 'why' this is done that needs to be gotton rid of. That is a personality flaw- that should not be allowed in nursing- there is no no place for it, given the high stakes. There seems to be "a mob mentality" in most nursing cultures. This eating of their young was very alive and well in ICU's many years ago- I went to our nursing educator about what was happening in the ICU I was just new to, she told me of her experience with this wolf pack and how after 6 months of tolerating this one night the gang leaders went to the OR and stole a pair of scrubs and gave them to her as a token of her being ALLOWED into the fold! This doesn't say professionalism, this say hooker, street gang mentality. My opinnion was and still is -they could take those scrubs and stick them- needless to say, I refused to stay. My thoughts are in the direction of- nursing spends alot of focus on ignoring the boundaries of patients- we have to to take admission histories and to do physical assessments( we have to look under the bedsheets of our patients) but that is where it is supposed to end. We are not allowed to crawl up the posterior end of the GI tract of our co-workers. Nursing has no 'boundaries' WE have forgotten good manners (which reflect our family's upbringing) we have forgotten that physical boundary limit 1-3 feet (which we are so proud we know in relation to the diverse cultures of our patients) We exhibit behavior to each other that street people would be ashamed of- I have gotton "Thank-you's" from homless alcoholics and cat clawing from my co workers- go figure!! Disgusting behavior.

Dakovich · Dec 12, 2009

karenchad, at my airline the First Officers are taught to practice "Assertivness with Respect".

AOx1 · Dec 13, 2009

I love my students as an instructor, but just as I'm sure they are frustrated with me at times, I can also find some of them very frustrating. For example, asking "Will this be on the test?" repeatedly. Um, no, I just like to waste my breath!

I have found this is most common in the first semester, when students are insecure and not yet acclimated to the system. I try to be very patient and direct them to finding their own answers (especially when it is a question I've already answered 2 minutes ago), but sometimes even I get really irritated. Among the top questions of all times that I can remember were such gems as:

"Which book am I supposed to be reading for this class, again?"- this was halfway through the semester. The textbook title was the same as the title of the course. The textbook was also listed in the syllabus.

After a lengthy discussion on sterile technique in the OR and a discussion of the circulator role: "When will we learn how to use a scalpel for surgeries?"

Even her classmates stared dumbfounded.

I have even had one student ask me if she could take an exam at a later time "as I can't really afford to miss the Black Friday sales this year due to our limited budget." She was serious.

My all time favorite, from a student who was irate that I wouldn't come to her house to personally tutor her in my class (after the fourth exam she failed and repeated emails from me asking her to come in for help): "You have to help me, it's your job. I pay your salary." I wanted to ask her for a raise!

Our particular school requires a 3.0 to even apply, and rarely is anyone admitted with less than a 3.5 GPA. Most students are wonderful, intelligent, committed students. It seems to be a tiny minority that always take the most time. I will always do my best to maintain professionalism, but sometimes my patience is tested.

I have all the respect in the world, however, for a student who asks for clarification on any point or topic that first says "I need some clarification on __________. I have tried (insert references here) and still don't understand." THAT is the type of question I never get tired of; it shows an inquisitive mind and a willingness to help yourself.

allnurses Guide · Dec 13, 2009

It's the time the unprepared, not listening students take from those that are prepared and are listening that bugs me. Obviously the whole class can't move as fast as the top performer, but it isn't fair for the irresponsible ones to slow the train to a crawl. I had a classmate who was older and hadn't been to school in years, coming in from a Theater Arts background :) -- she was a "C" student but busted her buns to get that grade, studying (got up 2hrs early), had us help prep her and was an all around gem of a person. Didn't mind too much when she asked questions in class.

NeoNurseTX, RN · Dec 13, 2009

Some of them are downright rude. Most aren't.

karenchad · Dec 13, 2009

Dakovich- if youare at an airline job why are you on a nursing forum?

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Dec 13, 2009

I love my students as an instructor, but just as I'm sure they are frustrated with me at times, I can also find some of them very frustrating. For example, asking "Will this be on the test?" repeatedly. Um, no, I just like to waste my breath!
I have found this is most common in the first semester, when students are insecure and not yet acclimated to the system. I try to be very patient and direct them to finding their own answers (especially when it is a question I've already answered 2 minutes ago), but sometimes even I get really irritated. Among the top questions of all times that I can remember were such gems as:
"Which book am I supposed to be reading for this class, again?"- this was halfway through the semester. The textbook title was the same as the title of the course. The textbook was also listed in the syllabus.
After a lengthy discussion on sterile technique in the OR and a discussion of the circulator role: "When will we learn how to use a scalpel for surgeries?"
Even her classmates stared dumbfounded.
I have even had one student ask me if she could take an exam at a later time "as I can't really afford to miss the Black Friday sales this year due to our limited budget." She was serious.
My all time favorite, from a student who was irate that I wouldn't come to her house to personally tutor her in my class (after the fourth exam she failed and repeated emails from me asking her to come in for help): "You have to help me, it's your job. I pay your salary." I wanted to ask her for a raise!
Our particular school requires a 3.0 to even apply, and rarely is anyone admitted with less than a 3.5 GPA. Most students are wonderful, intelligent, committed students. It seems to be a tiny minority that always take the most time. I will always do my best to maintain professionalism, but sometimes my patience is tested.
I have all the respect in the world, however, for a student who asks for clarification on any point or topic that first says "I need some clarification on __________. I have tried (insert references here) and still don't understand." THAT is the type of question I never get tired of; it shows an inquisitive mind and a willingness to help yourself.

Oh my goodness, the bolded phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I really have to watch myself, apparently I am not very subtle with my facial expressions. I always sit in the front row and since we didn't know anybody the first few days yet we all sort of "called" our seats, a few friends I have made sit in various spots in the class room. A lot of my friends have come to be cracking up saying it's funny to watch me during class because you can tell how annoyed I am when someone always asks will this be on the test. As funny as they think it is next semester I will try really hard to watch myself though because I didn't realize people could see me. I sit in the front row in a side isle so I am always turned to the middle towards the teacher, that is how they can see me.

Anyway, between that and the asking something that was said not more then 5 mins prior, it is extremely frustrated. I have tons of patience for a lot of things. Stuff like that isn't one of them. I hope it gets better because down the road I would eventually like to be an instructor as well and that won't work if I am the same way I am right now. Sometimes it takes all my might not to yell out, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!!.

It was explained to us at Orientation what days we would need to wear scrubs (outside of clinicals). Yet I can honestly say it's been asked a minumum of 100 times this semester "will we need to wear our scrubs". When our teacher talks about an upcoming date.

In a way, my annoyance as an adult with these types of things I think has made me a better parent. I have one son the is very popular and the class comedian and very social in class. His teachers always have good things to say about him except that aspect. Then of course he isn't understanding the materia (gee maybe if you were paying attention you would) and he has told me how the teachers have been rude to him. He got no sympathy from me and instead was writing his teachers aplogy letters and on a contract with me about this type of behavior. I really drilled it into him how not only if he being rude to the teacher and making it hard on her to get through the material and teach the class, but that he was also interferring with the other students abilities to learn.

You would think though adults would grasp this concept.

Sorry for the rant, it's one of the few things that frustrates me to no end in my classes.