First of all I want to say I LOVE ALLNURSES!!! It has been the best resource for me for so many things.
Sadly, I have noticed in the last year or so that there are more and more negative postings. Some OP’s will post innocent topics and get torn a new one for nothing. Why?
We should be encouraging one another and not be putting people down. The saying "nurses eat their young"….I once thought it was not true, but I am beginning to think it is.
I am not trying to pinpoint nurses who have been in the field for many years; however, I have noticed many negative comments come from people who have forgotten what it was like to start out as a nurse. Other comments that are nasty I figure are from people who just have low self esteem and want to tear someone apart to feel better.
Maybe the economy is just taking a toll on people? Whatever it is I hate to see it. I love Allnurses. I would hate to see it become a negative place where people can’t share their thoughts without the fear of ridicule.
Ugh. It's like the same conversation over, and over, and over, and over again.
"Don't hurt people's feelings."
"We have every right to hurt people's feelings if we want to."
"Well, that's just mean."
"Well, the world is a mean place. Get used to it."
To the "meanies"...No one cares about your ability to assert your irritation, ask pointed questions, make personal jabs that fly under the radar. It isn't impressive, it does not make you a special snowflake, just a snowflake in a snowstorm of a million other irritated, superior, judgmental snowflakes (of which I am one, don't get me wrong). Everyone is aware that this is a public forum and that people are probably going to be offensive from time to time. The people who complain about it more often than not aren't pointing it out to you as though they never thought in a million years that the world could be filled with rude and critical people. They are asking you to cut it out and be civil.
To those who get their feelers hurt...Don't bother seeking universal understanding of your point of view. You will never find it. Don't bother trying to persuade the grouchy or spiteful or brash that they have any moral obligation to stop what they're doing. They don't. Look around. You are foolish to believe that you are going to be the one and only person in the history of message boards that WON'T get flamed, or baited, or thread hijacked at some time in your message board posting career. It happens to EVERYONE at some point. Message board "cred" is meaningless. Stop trying to get or keep it.
Too many thin-skinned people who seem to determined to find something in every thread to take personal offense at.
To many ultra-defensive people who take even a hint of disagreement as a personal assault on their intelligence, integrity, moral character, and sex habits.
Too many who, upon reading a very simple question, feel the need to either tell the questioner how stupid they really are or write a doctoral dissertation to answer a question that could very easily be answered yes or no.
Too many "psychologists" who pick apart every thread word by word trying to figure out what the poster is "really" saying. Sometimes a duck is really a duck.
Too many who haven't lived the life making judgemental comments and then being surprised when the world falls on their heads.
A number of nurses whose posts make it appear that they do "eat their young."
Some folks who loose their patience with the way so many people on here take a very simple situation and turn it into a 5000 piece 3D jigsaw puzzle. (Okay, that hurt)
So now, all the above brings up the question, if all these people went away, what would the ones who are left have to talk about?
Too many thin-skinned people who seem to determined to find something in every thread to take personal offense at.
To many ultra-defensive people who take even a hint of disagreement as a personal assault on their intelligence, integrity, moral character, and sex habits.
Too many who, upon reading a very simple question, feel the need to either tell the questioner how stupid they really are or write a doctoral dissertation to answer a question that could very easily be answered yes or no.
Too many "psychologists" who pick apart every thread word by word trying to figure out what the poster is "really" saying. Sometimes a duck is really a duck.
Too many who haven't lived the life making judgemental comments and then being surprised when the world falls on their heads.
A number of nurses whose posts make it appear that they do "eat their young."
Some folks who loose their patience with the way so many people on here take a very simple situation and turn it into a 5000 piece 3D jigsaw puzzle. (Okay, that hurt)
So now, all the above brings up the question, if all these people went away, what would the ones who are left have to talk about?
You may flame when ready.
Instead of calling people hypersenstive or ultradefensive. How bout taking a look at your own behavior and how you would feel if you were on the recieving end of callous, insensitive remarks? Calling other people hypersenstive is just a cop out so you can invalidate others feeling, and continue with rude and insenstive behavior.
So in other words, we should only answer questions if we think the poster is going to LIKE the answer to the question? I'm sorry, life isn't like that.
Thanks for proving my point: making assumptions. By the way, I never said that the OP has to "LIKE" your answer. However, there is a difference between constructive feedback and negative feedback; they're not synonymous.
I'm sorry, life isn't like that.
Maybe YOUR life, but not mine or others. I don't see how being sarcastic and rude helps anyone. I've never seen an OP thank another member for being crass and condemnatory. I've received constructive feedback from different people before and they do not sound judgemental or condemning at all. I don't know how you exactly define constructive feedback. To be honest, I think a lot of people lack the skill to give constructive feedback even myself but I'm willing to learn to develop it. I guess you're right, I can use these forums to learn how NOT to give constructive feedback by looking at some other members' cheeky responses and find ways I can answer it in a less offensive way.
I could point out that if you learn from others' mistakes here on an anonymous internet site, you may not make the mistake in your own practice and may save yourself from receiving the negative feedback from your colleagues at work -- who know you and will remember it.
I beg to differ. Not all situations are similar, it depends on different psychosocial and environmetnal factors. You can't be sure because everyone reacts differently.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I thought belgarion's list was quite even-handed. He included experienced nurses and newbies in his list of possibly obnoxiously behaving participants. I don't see what there is in that to be hypersensitive and defensive about.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
instead of calling people hypersenstive or ultradefensive. how bout taking a look at your own behavior and how you would feel if you were on the recieving end of callous, insensitive remarks? calling other people hypersenstive is just a cop out so you can invalidate others feeling, and continue with rude and insenstive behavior.
if there was anything offensive in the post you were quoting -- and i'm not saying whether there was or was not -- it was equal opportunity offense. i think she pretty much called out everyone. you have to be working really hard to take offense at that.
if there were any rude, callous or insensitive remarks, they didn't come from the post you quoted. your post, on the other hand does come across as very shrill. perhaps you need to take a second look?
instead of calling people hypersenstive or ultradefensive. how bout taking a look at your own behavior and how you would feel if you were on the recieving end of callous, insensitive remarks? calling other people hypersenstive is just a cop out so you can invalidate others feeling, and continue with rude and insenstive behavior.
if i say something to someone, i am not going to beat around the bush. if i feel it is wrong i will say it. sorry if someone feelings are going to be hurt. this does not mean that i will deliberately post something that is crude or derogatory. lets say one posted a question that states " was i wrong for calling a patient at home because he or she said something about me that got me in trouble" would anybody defend this nurse? lets take this further. now lets say the patient who called the nurses manger stated this nurse was seen shooting up drugs (morphine). anybody really want to be nice to this nurse? do not ask for people opinions if you do not want to hear them. and do not expect nurses to defend egregious act or statements
Ok sure, I don't want to bicker as I think it's not contributing to the subject at hand or the OPs question. I'm going to stop posting in this thread as personal attacks are starting to appear and I'm just not going to feed more fuel to the fire. If my message seems "shrill," then so be it.
First of all I want to say I LOVE ALLNURSES!!! It has been the best resource for me for so many things.
Sadly, I have noticed in the last year or so that there are more and more negative postings. Some OP's will post innocent topics and get torn a new one for nothing. Why?
1. Nursing students seem to think that this is a place for them to come for homework answers.
2. Ancillary staff think that this is a place for them to tell RN's how "wrong and stupid they are" because "I'm just as smart as you even though I don't have a degree/licence".
3. Family members/patients have discovered this site and use it to berate us for thier interpretation of "poor care/insensitivity/incompetence.
This used to be a site for RN's to come together and share, with the understanding of common backgrounds and experience. Now, any non-professional can come in and flame about anything; and the site is poorer for it.
First of all I want to say I LOVE ALLNURSES!!! It has been the best resource for me for so many things.
Sadly, I have noticed in the last year or so that there are more and more negative postings. Some OP's will post innocent topics and get torn a new one for nothing. Why?
1. Nursing students seem to think that this is a place for them to come for homework answers.
2. Ancillary staff think that this is a place for them to tell RN's how "wrong and stupid they are" because "I'm just as smart as you even though I don't have a degree/licence".
3. Family members/patients have discovered this site and use it to berate us for thier interpretation of "poor care/insensitivity/incompetence.
This used to be a site for RN's to come together and share, with the understanding of common backgrounds and experience. Now, any non-professional can come in and flame about anything; and the site is poorer for it.
Well, yes, non-professionals can "come in and flame." However, they can and do also come in and contribute. I don't try to take part in the more technical threads (i.e., discussions of specific medical treatments) outside my area of knowledge or the nursing vent threads (except for an occasional joke or question). I do contribute to threads where I have experience, such as HR/employment situations, questions about disability laws and opportunities, FMLA, health information management (HIM) topics, ARRA, etc. I also read a lot of the threads, both past and current, to better inform myself of nursing-specific concerns, issues, frustrations, and wishes. I don't start obnoxious, read-the-same-thing-a-million-times-already threads and I certainly don't start homework threads (even though I take some of the same classes nursing students do).
My point is not to sing my own praises or be ultra-defensive, but simply to highlight that the site and its members benefit from having contributors from a broad range of healthcare-related backgrounds, as long as they don't try to blather about topics outside their areas of knowledge. That there are non-nurses who do so doesn't mean that all or even most of us do. I don't think the blame for flaming can be placed squarely and solely on the shoulders of the nursing students, allied health workers, and members of the general public who post here. There are plenty of threads in which nurses attack other nurses.
metal_m0nk, BSN, RN
920 Posts
Ugh. It's like the same conversation over, and over, and over, and over again.
"Don't hurt people's feelings."
"We have every right to hurt people's feelings if we want to."
"Well, that's just mean."
"Well, the world is a mean place. Get used to it."
To the "meanies"...No one cares about your ability to assert your irritation, ask pointed questions, make personal jabs that fly under the radar. It isn't impressive, it does not make you a special snowflake, just a snowflake in a snowstorm of a million other irritated, superior, judgmental snowflakes (of which I am one, don't get me wrong). Everyone is aware that this is a public forum and that people are probably going to be offensive from time to time. The people who complain about it more often than not aren't pointing it out to you as though they never thought in a million years that the world could be filled with rude and critical people. They are asking you to cut it out and be civil.
To those who get their feelers hurt...Don't bother seeking universal understanding of your point of view. You will never find it. Don't bother trying to persuade the grouchy or spiteful or brash that they have any moral obligation to stop what they're doing. They don't. Look around. You are foolish to believe that you are going to be the one and only person in the history of message boards that WON'T get flamed, or baited, or thread hijacked at some time in your message board posting career. It happens to EVERYONE at some point. Message board "cred" is meaningless. Stop trying to get or keep it.
That is all, carry on.