Been having a rough time at work lately and I just need to vent a little bit, maybe some people posting about their experiences will help me a little...
I have really been struggling with my job (CNA for about 3 months). I feel like I am reaching my wit's end and don't know how much more I can take. I spent the first 3 hours of work in tears today and I was so stressed out that I was left with a pounding headache that lasted until 3 hours after my shift was over.
What I am wondering is, is it common at LTC facilities to have coworkers that bully/mistreat others? Is it common to see backstabbing and cattiness? There is one particular hall at my facility that I absolutely detest working on because of the "regulars" on that hall (I'm a float). I've probably posted about them in the past.. they are still a problem. The one woman has been rude to me ever since I started. She was very experienced at her job (and she is good at what she does), I was a complete newbie and I was clueless about the residents.. she got frustrated when I would ask questions about *completely new residents that I had never cared for* or asking for help with the more difficult transfers that I wasn't used to doing yet.
She never blatantly came out and said it, but I know she can't stand me.. her facial expressions and being yelled at by her explained enough. Her buddy co-worker is pretty much the same way. I'd end up crying my eyes out and feeling horrible about myself whenever I would work that hall, the stress was overbearing. I eventually ended up "telling her off" a few weeks ago after she raised her voice at me. I didn't use any obscenities, but I told her I was sick and tired of being treated the way I was and I wanted her to stop being so mean. I ended up on that dreaded hall today and she was pulling off some of that passive aggressive stuff.. example, when she saw me this morning she slammed the trash bin lid down really hard as I walked by. When it comes time for afternoon breaks, her and her friend go out together and leave me alone on the hall *with a list of TWO-PERSON changes/transfers.*
I also feel upset by the nurses sometimes. There is this one nurse that can be very nice when she wants to be, but when she feels stressed and overworked she yells at someone for whatever thing sets her off. I've been yelled at her twice already for petty things and I ended up getting worked up and crying about it. I end up feeling like I am stupid. I understand that her job must be very difficult, but it stresses me out too when I get yelled at.
I feel like I am too fragile. I hate going to work and being treated that way because I deal with it enough at home. I get yelled at and told how stupid I am (sometimes threatened) if I do something imperfectly or if I can't find something fast enough. My mother is very controlling and verbally abusive (but I still love her), and all these years of it has taken its toll on me. I guess dealing with the abuse, seeing my mother battling cancer and wondering if she will die, and feeling trapped on top of the stress I deal with at work is getting to me.
Also.. many days just feel like I'm working at an assembly line. I wanted to get into this type of work because I wanted to help people. I don't feel like I am helping anyone.. I feel like the job just encourages us to cut corners to make sure everything gets done.. Most days are so hectic that we barely get to spend time with the residents. I think the socialization/interaction with their caregivers is also an important part of their care, because for some of them, we are all they have. Honestly, it makes me feel so good (even if just for a little while) when I make a resident smile or one of them gives me a hug and a kiss and tells me I am nice. But the stress I'm feeling overshadows that rare good feeling I get.
It is getting to the point where I want to go on antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication to stay at this job. The stress of home and work is a lot to handle. I love my hours (6a-2p) and the flexibility (if I need time off, I can usually put stuff up on the tradeboard for another employee to pick up), and *some* of my coworkers are fantastic, but I am feeling burnt out already. Is it normal to go home crying some days? Is it normal to have bad dreams about work? Is it normal to cry at night at the thought of going in the next day?
I was once an aspiring nurse (half of a BSN completed so far), but now I think I want OUT of this altogether. I don't know if I will be happy in a job where I deal with this kind of disrespect. I've talked to one of the nurses at my facility and she told me that I shouldn't completely give up on nursing just because of a few bad co-workers and one job I don't enjoy at all. That not every place is like the place I am at now. I LOVED the stuff I was learning in my nursing curriculum. But I just don't know anymore.
I'm thinking of toughing this place out a bit longer once I visit a psychiatrist and maybe try some meds out.. if I can't do that I might need to move to a different setting like home health.
I'm sorry this was so long, I just needed to vent.
I think all LTC facility's are like this! I have 2 ppl were I work if I get there and see I am paired up with either of them I am instantly upset and pitty myself and I hate that!! These are the same girls who made bets about how long I would last b/c I have my hair fixed everyday and NEVER go to wk without my make-up on they thought I was fresh out of CNA classes and I was told they thought I was to prissy!! Jokes on them little did they know I have been a CNA for 15 yrs and can run circles around them!!
But my point is I know how you feel!! Is it possible to talk to someone to see that you aren't paired up with them? I know you said you float but if they need you then they should be willing to see that you aren't uncomfortable to be there!!
I tend to agree. Residents may have their "issues" but they are still living, breathing human beings!
I think you open up a possible avenue for discussion about when life should end. For example, most of the residents in my LTC are coherent (surprisingly we have very few with Alzheimers/Dementia), but there are a couple who are more or less, just bodies, whatever human being was in them has long since departed. Why spend exorbitant amounts of money to keep their bodies alive, when the chance or recovery is non-existent?
For me, I have already discussed it with my girlfriend (soon to be wife ), I DO NOT want to be in an LTC, and in fact, if I become incoherent, sick, old and have no chance of leading a normal life, I would rather be dead.
What do you folks think? I mean, we work on the front lines of death.
I just started my clinicals for my CNA program and it was tough! The CNA I was shadowing doesn't like having students, and has flat out refused to work w/ students in the past. She had to take me on due to short-staffing...anyways, she didn't explain anything to me and was always disappearing. A couple times I went to get my instructor to check off on a skill, and the CNA would do my work while I was gone and then complain that I couldn't do anything. She was also rough w/ the residents, and doesn't speak very good english so there were tons of communication issues...I tried so hard to apologize and make it clear that I wanted to help her any way I could, and I thanked her repeatedly for letting me tag along. But at the end of the day, I still felt like an idiot.
I'm doing this program as a pre-requ. for an RN program I was already accepted to, and I have to say this experience is definately humbling to say the least. I feel quite incompetant, and even more worried about going to RN school now. On the other hand, I see it as a learning experience for how stressed out healthcare workers treat each other, and anyone who is new....It's gonna help me toughen up, so I can deal w/ the rest.
I really loved working w/ the residents though, and helping them with their ADL's. I know that when the CNA students are there, they get a lot of extra attention and they light up when they see us. They were all really wonderful people and very appreciative which made it all feel better.
i rather live and b healthy-but if that not the case Lord jus let me die-because i dont care how much $$ these people have ltc cant take care of them correctly
I remember hating my job for the first 6 months. But I'd quit my previous job without notice (a grocery store, I told them when the ltc facility wanted me to start so they said to quit without notice but it meant I couldn't go back there for a few years). I didn't feel I had any other options. As I got more comfortable in my duties, I started enjoying my job. I ignored the aides and nurses that weren't nice. I was professional with them but I didn't stoop to their level.
Being a CNA is not about all these problems you are talking about. The job does not pay very well, I doubt it will get any better therefore there will always be people in the field working that otherwise could never handle a customer service job at Mickey Dees. The job is about the patient period, you should be working with proffessionals and if not and can't do a thing about it - resort back to the job is about the patient.
I do not want to devalue your emotions you have expressed about the stress and horrible issues that do happen. We have on one choice and that is to be true to our patients and ourselfs - that is what counts at the end of the day. It is sad so many fast food is nowing pay as much per hour that you earn at a LTC. Flip burgers or patients? Go figure where some of these people come from - Micky Dees won't hire them. Many others would rather flip a burgers than do our job. You have to take it for what it is worth-always be true to yourself. This is a job you love or you just don't do it. Bad people do not make choices for us.
I so feel for you! You are a rare person, like myself, who is extremely sensitive. People like us are few and far between, so you may notice that many people can not relate to you. I've been there, and even still have my days. I am in CNA school (just started), and understand that I will more than likely be tested by rude individuals who have no business in healthcare. Ive even encountered selfish people like that at previous administrative jobs. And girl, just because people are over the age of 18 doesn't mean they haven't mentally graduated from high school - they still do the gossiping and hanging out in cliq's...it is what it is.
Anyway, I digress. Before you consider meds, have you spoken to the person in HR about switching your schedule to times when those immature little girls aren't working? Consider it - I would rather you have a totally different schedule, than to put some meds in your body that you more than likely don't even need. This seems to be an environmental problem, rather than a brain/chemical issue...so change your environment. Also, can you afford to move out of your house into your own apartment? You mentioned your mom verbally abuses you.... If your income is low, consider section 8 or some sort of public assistance for a few months to get on your feet - it can assist with rent, food stamps, medical bills, etc. After you are on your feet, then you can get off of public assistance.
I know you love your mommy, but look how this is killing you inside. Then, when you get to work, you have to deal with someone else's crap. I suggest you move, and get a new schedule....or, while still working at this job, apply at other facilities....then, once you get hired, leave.
There are other options....if these don't work, then you can consider other alternatives. Trust me, I understand you. PM me or shoot me an email if you need to chat or vent.
D
Thank you so much for your words. I talked to HR and the DON about not working that one hall. Next time I see my name on the wing sheet for that hall I am walking out of that building before I even clock in.
Regarding depression/meds/environment, I might have to just leave soon. Another issue in addition to my mom's illness is that I don't have a driver's license. I am working on getting it now (I finally have people who are willing to teach me). I'm hoping to have it within a month from now. Once I get a license, I can look for a different job (maybe home health) and go live with a family member. I have my grandparents and my uncle that are willing to let me stay under their roof until I can get on my feet. New home + new job might do wonders for me.
Yes they are all like this. At least all of the ones I've worked for. Seems that they hate their jobs and take it out on anyone who doesn't stand up for themselves. IE: the new guy.
I would just say stand up for yourself and maybe take the other person aside and ask them why they are so mean to you? If it doesn't help just ignore them and go about your business doing your assignment. If that still doesn't help look elsewhere.
I took her aside and actually APOLOGIZED to her like an idiot for being upset about working the "bad" hall the day before. I was trying to explain that I am under a lot of stress and it's hard for me to keep it all inside when I have it coming at me from both work and home. She just stood there and gave me dirty looks and rolled her eyes at me the entire time. I told her that if she had a problem with me to pull me aside and discuss it with ME instead of flipping out at me at the nurse's station. She said, "Don't tell me what to do" and walked away. I'm done being nice.
Sometimes I really think it's about what we project to others. For example, if you project yourself as confident and capable, you might be less likely to be bullied. That is not to say that this is your fault, but the sad fact is, CNA's are no better than anyone else, some of them are bullies and bullies will find what they perceive to be the weakest link to attack. Stand up for yourself and don't take their crap!!
This is exactly what my family told me, and what one of my nicest co-workers told me. They treat me like crap because they can. But I don't know how to stick up for myself. I am bullied at home, per se, and I don't know how to stick up for myself outside of the home either.
You have to take it for what it is worth-always be true to yourself. This is a job you love or you just don't do it. Bad people do not make choices for us.
I'm coming to the realization that I don't love this job. On the days when things go smoothly, I'm *okay* with it. I like when I have my "favorite" residents and I like when I know I made them happy for a little while, but I don't think, "Wow, I really love what I do." I don't feel like I'm making a difference, and I'm not really getting anywhere in life by working at my facility. If I wanted to make good money I'd have to bust my ass and be a workaholic. Stresses me out and tires me out too much to do that. I'm 22 and I feel like a loser, such a failure. This job allows me to pay my student loans and keep my credit from sinking completely under.. it's probably horrible the way it is because I'm in so much debt from college. I never expected to make a lot of money doing this (I could make $14.50 an hr WITH benefits at another facility but I can't handle learning another nursing home), but I didn't know it would bring this much stress to my life.
It's 11:35 PM and I need to be up at 5 AM. I'm crying my eyes out as I type this and I'm getting a headache from it. Most of the time when I'm at work I handle it fine (sans nasty coworkers), but I get really bad anxiety prior to going in. Really bad. My head hurts and I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I dread waking up tomorrow.
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), I DO NOT want to be in an LTC, and in fact, if I become incoherent, sick, old and have no chance of leading a normal life, I would rather be dead.
Miss_Piggy.RN
199 Posts
It is really said that you think that way about your residents
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