Appropriate to go to funeral?

ilstu99 · Sep 20, 2008

I've decided that I'm going to attend the calling hours. Five minutes in and out to pay my respects. We live in a small community and I really believe the family would appreciate it. I stated funeral in my post when I meant calling hours. I'm sorry about that!
I've also layed out a white scrub skirt with a white scrub top. I'm going to iron them this evening.

Calling hours....good choice. Then I don't think the scrubs are as much of an issue, since lots of people come from work.

Many blessings for her family.

MaryAnn_RN · Sep 20, 2008

I have only attended one patients funeral, he had been on our unit for about 3 months. He was a prickly old soul at times but we got on well and his son asked me to go to the funeral. I wore a dress rather than uniform.

AlabamaBelle · Sep 20, 2008

I've attended funerals on my days off. If my co-workers and I go to evening visitation after our shifts, yes we go in scrubs. The parents appreciate that we took the time to come by.

Ruthiegal · Sep 20, 2008

I took care of a patient all of last week.
She was a retired nurse. Very, very sweet lady. She was dying. I work on a PCU unit. She was transfered to our unit from the ICU. Where I work, the PCU is considered critical care (we get MI's, post cardiac caths, pacers, vents, etc.)
She had 3 sons and granddaughters who who very sweet. They all decided to put her to a DNR/CC status with palliative care. They requested that she stay on our floor, which is unusual because they typically go upstairs until they pass. We granted their wishes and put them in the nicest room we had and made it "homey" the best we could for them. Her family would hug me every night when I'd report off and thank me for my care.
She passed away on Thursday with her very loving family at her bedside.
Her calling hours are tomorrow. I would like to go since I was her primary nurse. Is this inappropriate? I plan on just stopping in for a few minutes and paying my respects. I'd like to wear my scrubs since she always commented how pretty they were.
Is this inappropriate? What would you guys do?
Is this inappropriate?

Absolutely not inappropriate, go pay your respects and hug the family one more time, they will remember you for the caring nurse you are. Wear whatever is comfortable, no one will care about the clothes you wear, they have more important things to focus on.

When my Dad passed some of his nurses stopped in on the way to work, in uniform, no one cared that they were dressed in work clothes, we were touched that they cared enough about my Dad and his family to stop in and say we're sorry for your loss.

:specs:

blondy2061h, MSN, RN · Sep 20, 2008

I struggled with this too this month. A girl on my unit who had been with us 3 months died recently and we had all grown quite close to the family. She was young. A few people from my unit did go, and it was appreciated, but I personally did not.

Eirene, ASN, RN · Sep 20, 2008

I struggled with this too this month. A girl on my unit who had been with us 3 months died recently and we had all grown quite close to the family. She was young. A few people from my unit did go, and it was appreciated, but I personally did not.

When my daughter passed away, both of her home health nurses came. They bought a teddy bear in angel wings dressed in a nurses uniform. We had it buried with her.

My husband and I considered them a part of our family. I'll always be appreciative that they came.

Thank you all for your responses!

Batman24 · Sep 20, 2008

Many of the medical staff came to the viewing/funeral when my father died. It was greatly appreciated. They all provided exceptional care to my father and many cried when he passed away in the hospital. It was touching.

Dianacabana · Sep 21, 2008

I don't think this is inappropriate at all. I'd be so pleased if I were part of her family. How kind of you to think to do this. :redbeathe

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Sep 21, 2008

I took care of a patient all of last week.
She was a retired nurse. Very, very sweet lady. She was dying. I work on a PCU unit. She was transfered to our unit from the ICU. Where I work, the PCU is considered critical care (we get MI's, post cardiac caths, pacers, vents, etc.)
She had 3 sons and granddaughters who who very sweet. They all decided to put her to a DNR/CC status with palliative care. They requested that she stay on our floor, which is unusual because they typically go upstairs until they pass. We granted their wishes and put them in the nicest room we had and made it "homey" the best we could for them. Her family would hug me every night when I'd report off and thank me for my care.
She passed away on Thursday with her very loving family at her bedside.
Her calling hours are tomorrow. I would like to go since I was her primary nurse. Is this inappropriate? I plan on just stopping in for a few minutes and paying my respects. I'd like to wear my scrubs since she always commented how pretty they were.
Is this inappropriate? What would you guys do?
Is this inappropriate?

You bring up a good point. The patient that I remember most and also went to the funeral home was a man in his late 50's. His wife was my 3rd grade teacher and she did remember me from elem. school. he came in frequently, and I cared for him in the ER and also on a medical unit at 2 facilities.

The day after he passed, I had been off and happened to see the death notice in the newspaper. I went to the wake but went in a black church suit. I just did not feel appropriate in nursing attire there, but that was just me.

It did mean a lot to the wife that I showed up, and it meant so much to me that my former 3rd grade teacher knew me on sight after so many years.

Anne, RNC :heartbeat

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Sep 21, 2008

Personally, I would go if they were that close and they did know you by name as you were taking care of them....also, I would only stay for a few minutes(10 at most), a quick in and out....

Do NOT wear scrubs...nice outfit, church clothes...and try hard to remain as sincere and professional as possible.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Sep 21, 2008

I have done this and honored the patient and showed support for the family-all very low key.

Appropriate in my opinion.

Otessa

Eirene, ASN, RN · Sep 21, 2008

I wanted to follow up.

I went to the calling hours this afternoon. I stayed for about 10 minutes and made a donation in her memory to the Humane Society. I went in my scrubs and all. They all thanked me for taking care of their mother/grandmother and gave me hugs. I thanked them for allowing me to care for her and entrusting me with her life. I told them how fondly she spoke of them when they weren't there.

I'm glad I went.