Any patients you couldn't stand et how did you deal?

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Have you ever had a patient that you felt was absolutely horrible to deal with et you cringed every time you had to take care of them? And if so, how did you deal with them et not show your feelings, if you were able not to?

Here is how I approach it - I am a nice person. If you don't like me then you must be crazy. If you are crazy I cannot take it personal whatever you say and do. Therefore, say what you like because you are crazy.

Found it has really helped.

Haha, I love that! I had a patient the other day tell me to take the smirk off of my face. That was definitely a first, since I am known for being the nurse who is always smiling I didn't take it too personally.

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I work in critical care so if they can usually expend that much energy, they are most often transfered out. However, I have experienced families that are out of control. Abusive, condescending, and even physically threatening. We have found that hospital management does little about this and often goes beyond extraordinary measures to placate these families and enable this behavior. This is done in the ideal of "customer service."

We deal with it by taking turns with those assignments and thus sharing the "cup of poison."

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The only patient/family I've ever had that I couldn't stand was truly a doozy. I took care of a little baby with a bad heart defect. Her parents were both teen-agers, unemployed, and living in a 3 bedroom house with 11 other people, all also unemployed. While their baby was in the hospital, they would come in, go directly to our nourishment room, fill up 3 paper sacks full of our snack foods and then leave. They did this for about 3 weeks before our manger put up signs saying, "Please do not take food home. Food is for patient use only." When the food well dried up, the parents started visiting only at night. At first I didn't understand why, then one night when I was assigned to them, I could *hear* why ... the moaning, groaning, and rattling of the pull out chair. They were in there, lying next to their critically ill child, and doing their best to conceive another one. I actually had to ask them to keep it down because everyone could hear them up and down the halls. I wasn't allowed to ask them to leave, since as parents, they had a right to be there with their child.

The idea of having sex right next to your critically ill child and the idea of stealing food from a hospital really rubs me the wrong way. I dealt with it by not talking to them anymore than I had to, just giving them the facts about their child and moving on. I guess it was a good thing they hardly ever visited.

The child ended up dying about 4 months later. While she died, her dad was talking on his cell phone about the latest basketball game and her mom was out in the waiting room, surfing the internet.

I'll never understand why some people have babies so easily and other people, like me, struggle so much with infertility.

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Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.

I totally agree with you NewEastCoastRN!!!! Why do HC providers have to take so much abuse. We have to sit there and take it when they are calling ups names, trying to hit us and spit at us. In the general public people get arrested for that crap! Why do (some of the elderly or ill think that they have the licence to treat others like that. I know they are old and ill, which would be enough to make me cranky too!!! But they still need to retain . . . How am I making the person who is breaking their back take care of me feel????

GEEZ

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Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Medsurge.

i have learned not to judge too quickly a patient's rude, abnoxious, insulting behavior but to let it roll off of me. sometimes this works and from my not reacting with vehement anger to their words they sometimes end up appologizing for their behavior. if they continue with obusive behavior, i plainly let them know where they are, what my purpose is and not to use derogatory mean speech in my presence. sometimes one needs to be strong and firm like a parent to get them to realize you're not their punching bag!!!

[evil]here is how i approach it - i am a nice person. if you don't like me then you must be crazy. if you are crazy i cannot take it personal whatever you say and do. therefore, say what you like because you are crazy.

found it has really helped.[/evil]

:yeahthat: ain't logic great!

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Think of them as the family you can't stand but have to deal with on occasion. Makes it easier sometimes. And remember, you get to go home at the end of your shift- could be worse!!!

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Specializes in Recovery (PACU)-11 yrs, General-13yrs.

As I work in recovery we get every range of behaviour, but the two nurses I've really admired have been almost sickeningly sweet to the most difficult patients-the ruder the patient the kinder the nurse. One of the nurses says she regards it as a game. I suppose you do what it takes to get your head around it, but if ever I wake up from an operation & have either of these two looking after me I'll know I'm a difficult patient!

When I was training, many, many years ago, we had a large, young motor bike rider in after getting his leg mangled in an MVA, and he required frequent hospitalisations & surgeries over a couple of years, and his language & manners left alot to be desired, but by using the standard nurses' responses of "pardon" and raised eyebrows, not responding til hearing please & thankyou etc (behaviour management, huh) he ended up as a popular patient & friend of the nurses (ahhhh, we were all young then). His mother reckoned it was one of the best things that happened to him as he became a polite, friendly young man after that, even if his Harley was still in bits. (Note, his care was never compromised, he just had to ask a couple of different ways til he got a fresh jug of water or a urinal etc).

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Specializes in Psychiatric.

I'll generally let a couple of things slide because I'm easy-going for the most part but serious lapses in good behavior and courtesy and judgement that aren't the result of some mental defect or traumatic brain injury will be dealt with quickly and calmly...I have no problem telling someone that I find their behavior offensive if it really is.

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I can't humor them. I can't act like a robot. I get excited and talk loudly and get defensive. I can't help it. Most always the perpetrator(s) back off and when they calm down I also calm down and even become apologetic. No, that isn't a good coping mechanism but it is the only way I know how to deal with hateful people. There is no sense in mistreating anyone and I can't stand it.

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Homeless people and here's why:

1) Nasty attitude like WE OWE them or something. My taxes pays for your care at my hospital.

2) Scabies

3) I wish they would take a freaking shower. There's a shower stall inside the damn room for crying out loud. I know plenty of soldiers out in the sand box that would kill for a daily shower.

4) theft

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Specializes in midwifery, gen surgical, community.

I tend to be Miss Sweety, sweety to obnoxious patients. If I have gone into a room and been barked at to get something, I will smile pleasantly, give them what they want and in a loud voice say THANKYOU. It works 100% of the time.

What can they do? Complain that the nurse said "Thankyou"!!

Of course, it does not stop me from abusing the sluice door/walls!!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

The beauty of the ER is that no matter how awful the pt they will be gone in a few hours. No putting up with them for twelve hours, three days in a row. Of course we have some frequent repeat customers and we share the pain. Lots of good coping mechanisms mentioned above. Have used all from time to time. I do sometimes have to remind myself that I am getting paid to be nice. But I won't allow anyone to abuse me.

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