Anxiety Over Past Mistakes

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I am searching for some guidance. I can not get over some mistakes I have made YEARS ago. Simply because they seem so damn stupid to me now. For example, I keep replaying this patient scenario...

I was in my early 20's and my first year as a CNA. I was working home care. I was working at a home of an older gentleman and one of his tasks for the day was to wash his feet. I asked if the other CNA's usually washed this man's feet and he responded no but they are suppose to.

I filled a basin with hot water from the man's apartment sink. I recall having my hands in the basin with my gloves on and it may have been a little steamy like a hot bath I can't recall for sure. I asked if the water was too hot each time he began to put his foot in (as I was there a few days and washed his feet a few times) I remember him saying something along the lines of "I can't tell" or "feels like nothing to me." I thought it was an odd response but took it as the water was not too hot. I would wash, lightly dry, lotion and put his socks back on.

Months later, sitting in one of my first semesters of nursing school it clicked that this man had diabetic neuropathy he couldn't feel the water at all. That anxious "how did you not know that WOW! Were you thinking" feeling kicked in ... and for some of these mistakes hasn't left since.

The water was likely WAY to hot the feet were soaked and not properly dried as they should be for diabetics. I will never know if this caused this poor man burns that could lead to more serious issues. I remember leaving those days thinking I did something good for this patient other CNA's refused to do. Now I just can't stop thinking of how many mistakes I made that harmed patient's that I didn't notice.

Do I have no common sense? I feel like a failure for these mistakes and wonder how many I make as a nurse each day from knowledge I haven't acquired yet. 

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Specializes in LTC & Rehab Supervision.

I just want you to know you are not stupid and people make mistakes. Please don't feel bad. I've had similar experiences as a CNA.

One was when I was told to "get someone to help get this person out of bed", but did not specifically state she was a 2-person transfer. Thus, I tried transferring her alone and she fell (well, we both fell!). Luckily no one was hurt, except for my feelings when the nurse literally hit me after she found out.

Just one of many. I learned my lesson, and yet we will still continue to make mistakes! That's life in general, not just nursing. I've made mistakes as a nurse as well. You'll get through this!

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Thank you for your kind words. We all go into nursing because we want to help. I am anxious and not the fastest learner. So for me looking back at these mistakes is hard I always think "I should have known better by then!" I KNOW I want to do everything I can for the people I serve sometimes I just wonder if everything I can is enough especially when I think of mistakes like that where someone maybe was hurt. 

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

It's hard not to let go of things in the past.  I have made a couple of good mistakes when first starting out and overwhelmed with it all.  I can only strive to keep them as lessons learned and try not to feel like the biggest dope of all nurses.  

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How do you cope with those mistakes you can not fix? I can take mistakes where I can walk back into the room and fix it as a learning experience. However, I have a really hard time forgiving myself for mistakes where I don't know if it had a negative outcome.

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39 minutes ago, Tweety said:

It's hard not to let go of things in the past.  I have made a couple of good mistakes when first starting out and overwhelmed with it all.  I can only strive to keep them as lessons learned and try not to feel like the biggest dope of all nurses.  

Thank you for your reply!

How do you cope with those mistakes you can not fix? I can take mistakes where I can walk back into the room and fix it as a learning experience. However, I have a really hard time forgiving myself for mistakes where I don't know if it had a negative outcome.

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I would expect that maybe a CNA would know that diabetics require proper foot care. I definitely would not expect them to know the reasons, the pathophysiology, or what specifically constitutes proper care of the diabetic foot, unless their workplace takes additional measures, above and beyond regular basic CNA training, to inform them of specifics.

Thus, while most people know that someone shouldn't be asked to put their feet into water that is too hot and may scald or damage their skin, regular people who are there to help with ADLs may not know that someone actually can't feel their feet because of their disease process.

In your case, you thought you were doing exactly what was supposed to be done and what would constitute attentive care of that patient.

You are okay. Truly. Just appreciate your own growth and learning. Do it. Let it go. ??

To answer your question about coping with (possible) mistakes you can't fix? Logic. CNAs are not trained to know the pathophysiology of diabetes. The most that any of us can do is to do better when we know better.

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16 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

I would expect that maybe a CNA would know that diabetics require proper foot care. I definitely would not expect them to know the reasons, the pathophysiology, or what specifically constitutes proper care of the diabetic foot, unless their workplace takes additional measures, above and beyond regular basic CNA training, to inform them of specifics.

Thus, while most people know that someone shouldn't be asked to put their feet into water that is too hot and may scald or damage their skin, regular people who are there to help with ADLs may not know that someone actually can't feel their feet because of their disease process.

In your case, you thought you were doing exactly what was supposed to be done and what would constitute attentive care of that patient.

You are okay. Truly. Just appreciate your own growth and learning. Do it. Let it go. ??

To answer your question about coping with (possible) mistakes you can't fix? Logic. CNAs are not trained to know the pathophysiology of diabetes. The most that any of us can do is to do better when we know better.

Thank you for your reply! I think that one of the hardest things for me is I can remember asking the question to the patient. I can remember the feeling of realizing my mistake later on but I can't remember the details of the day if I checked water temp with an ungloved hand had him check with his hand first etc...it's just been too long to remember the details. I just so want to do the best for my client's and I think all the time how I will view what I am doing now as a new grad thrown into nursing during COVID when I know even more later on. I know this type of reviewing mistakes is only helpful to a point but it seems like I do it very often. 

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Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.

I think it's important to self-reflect on our mistakes just due to the nature of our jobs, but we have to provide ourselves with enough grace that we can move past them as well. 

In your case, I don't think you necessarily made a mistake. In todays climate of every cheapening quality of PPE I don't think disposable gloves are thick enough to cause you to misread how hot the water is, indeed when I've had water that was too hot it was easily discernable even with gloves on. Ever since latex gloves went the way of the dinosaur the nylon and vinyl replacements just don't seem as "hearty", don't get me wrong I for one do NOT miss latex gloves, they made my hands sweat and my skin get all macerated, ew. 

 

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
4 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

I think it's important to self-reflect on our mistakes just due to the nature of our jobs, but we have to provide ourselves with enough grace that we can move past them as well. 

This.  

We just have to accept what we can not change and understand that we can not re-write the past, forgive ourselves and let it go.

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

We all have done things we eventually regret.

If you are not able to leave this in the past as others advised, get some help from a professional. Talk to a therapist to work through the guilt. 

Only then can you become your best self and best nurse.

Best wishes, my friend

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18 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

I think it's important to self-reflect on our mistakes just due to the nature of our jobs, but we have to provide ourselves with enough grace that we can move past them as well. 

In your case, I don't think you necessarily made a mistake. In todays climate of every cheapening quality of PPE I don't think disposable gloves are thick enough to cause you to misread how hot the water is, indeed when I've had water that was too hot it was easily discernable even with gloves on. Ever since latex gloves went the way of the dinosaur the nylon and vinyl replacements just don't seem as "hearty", don't get me wrong I for one do NOT miss latex gloves, they made my hands sweat and my skin get all macerated, ew. 

 

Thank you for your reply! You are right I can't remember all the details I just wish I would have had the knowledge I have now to have used luke warm water and have done proper foot care. It was definitely hotter then it should have been now that I know better. I always just wish I could go back and make sure everything turned out okay and correct my mistakes. 

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