i swear, visitors have gotten dumber and nastier over the years! used to be the majority of them were pleasant and grateful to you for helping mom, dad or whoever. now those pleasant folks seem to be vastly outnumbered!
yesterday, i was caring for a very sick man with multiple infected wounds which were getting wet to dry dressings. our practice is to open a bottle of sterile saline, date and time it, and then use it for 24 hours. yesterday afternoon, i happened to be standing outside the room talking to the resident when i noticed the patient's wife take an oral swab out of his mouth, open up the bottle of sterile saline, dip the swab in, and then stick it back in his wife. i stood there with my jaw hanging on the floor, wondering how many times she'd done that, and whether we'd just figured out why every wound was infected and none of them were getting better.
when i went into the room, i explained to her about sterile dressing changes, and how the bottle was sterile saline, the consequences of using contaminated saline for a wet to dry dressing change, etc. her response was to swear up and down she hadn't dipped the oral swab into the bottle. "i poured the water over the swab," she said.
"that's not water," i explained.
"yes it is," she said. "it looks just like water and i don't want to use dirty old faucet water in his mouth."
you'd think people would be more cautious about putting something in their loved one's mouth if they don't even know what it is! you'd think if you explained the consequences of contaminated saline, they'd be quick to admit that it was contaminated rather than risk you using it on their loved one. you'd think they'd believe you when you tell them what's in the bottle.
I honestly don't think of these people as nasty, so much as oblivious, ignorant and moronic. I long for the days when visiting hours were 11am to 9pm (strictly enforced) and no one under 14 was allowed under any circumstances. If I have to explain why lil' Kaitluyn shouldn't be crawling on the floor and rooting through Meemaw's trash can one more time, I'm going to lose it.
I like it when they come and ask you to go to Paeds and get a fresh diaper for L'ill Kaitluyn - or maybe a bottle of formula because she is hungry. And while I am there, perhaps I could bring back the VCR and a movie for Kaitluyn's big brother Herbert, because he is bored.
I like it when they come and ask you to go to Paeds and get a fresh diaper for L'ill Kaitluyn - or maybe a bottle of formula because she is hungry. And while I am there, perhaps I could bring back the VCR and a movie for Kaitluyn's big brother Herbert, because he is bored.
For the last 6 weeks or so, I have been hammered with requests like these!! People approach me and tell me in no uncertain terms that their baby needs formula, and they know I've got some somewhere in this hospital. And just tonight a lady tracked me down to tell me that the sibling of my ER pt had been "promised a popsicle, and no one's brought it!" Weellll, I was kinda busy starting an IV on a baby who hadn't peed in 30 hours, and getting b*tched at about that, too.
This absolutely dumbfounds me. WHY are we expected to provide formula for babies who are not admitted, or often even patients, in the ER? Who the he** leaves home carrying his/her infant and does not bring his/her food??? WHERE do people get the idea that they have every right to expect free treats hand-delivered to healthy family members of sick patients?? WHO told these leeches that merely crossing the threshold of the ER instantly entitled the entire family to free food, free cable TV, enough chairs to comfortably seat all 10 of them, any and all lab tests and procedures they know Mother needs because they watch "ER", and (it goes without saying) that all this be provided within a time frame that conveniently fits everyone's schedule for the day?
I swear sometimes I think the entire world has been taken over by aliens and I was busy in the barn and just missed it. People's expectations of hospital staff just flat boggle my mind.
One patient who particularly tried my patience was a man who stil had not left 45 minutes following his discharge orders, preferring to lie in bed in his gown and watch TV.
Oh you've had those too? :trout:
Hey, didn't you know? It's not an ER, it's a Motel
I work in a CCU and we have huge visitor problems- well I guess that comes from the fact that we have visitor rules. And guess what is our numero uno discussion at every staff meeting. Rules include hours 11-8 and no more than two visitors at a time. Also, one family member has to be designated primary contact as far as calling for updates. The unwritten exception is if your family member is really dying, everyone can come in- pretty much- until they code..... So the other day enforcing the rule went like this....
Very sick patient, with mental changes running the full gamut to unresponsive, just had a heart rate up in 140s successfully treated, 5 minutes later his wife calls on the phone (previsiting hours, security has the family members call the RN to see if they get an exception to come up) to ask if she can come up. She speaks to the NA who tells her visiting hrs start at 11. This apparently does not get across, becasue the NA gets me to talk to her. I, very politely thourgh the entire conversation tell her "visting hours start at 11" "But I'm his wife" "OK, visting hours start at 11- if you could just wait another half hr you are perfectly welcome" and it went on like this, wife her finally saying OK. 5 minutes later, doncha know, she's at bedside. When family members blatantly ignore us, and it looks like it might be a long admission, we try to let them know they can't do WHATEVER they want (just most of it). So I go into the room and again "Hi, I'm xx, your husbands nurse, could you please go to the weaiting room until 11, " - it was really going nowhere and ended with her asked my name glaring and threatening to report me. Yadda yadda... So the family has a two hr conversation with the feloow and the director and pt care coordinator, becasue they just don't get anything! But no biggie- and visitor rules are completely suspended.
So, over the next 2 days and caring for her husband, the woman continues to glare at me- I mean death hex eyes, never taking her eyes off me, and frequently whisper nasty things about me to other parts of the family every time I am in the room. Its making me a little shaky, but I am dealing. She asks questions occasionally, and I answer them- of course we are not having flowing friendly conversation for obvious reasons.
The third day I go into assess the pt, and the wife is standing next to one of the residents who is assessing the pt, she says to him "Don't you ever change nurses aroudn here" I ask "Is there a problem?" "Yes, you know we hate each other" I respond "It sounds like you don't want me to be your husband's nurse, I will get someone for you to discuss this with" "Oh no, we are not starting htis again. Don't you go telling me you are going to have me TALK TO SOMEONE"
The charge nurse told me we don't change nurses on pt and family presence; after talking to the wife she decided it was safer for everyone involved to switch. I know she was just projecting , but really.... I had to share, sorry it is soo long.
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
One day when I was in an assisted living center, I had a woman who went unresponsive and her daughter (46 year old wife of a doc no less!!!) was in the room. Instead of using the call light system to get help, she left her mother for quite a journey to the front desk to ask for help. Mistake number one!
So I am paged and I rush down there...already mom is gasping and water is pouring out of her mouth. I asked what was done, and the daughter said "well she looked thirsty". I asked if she was unresponsive then and she said "yes, but she looked thirsty". Mistake number two!
SO I call 9-11 and mom starts to come too. I get her into recovery position to get out all the water...my GOD did she pour the whole darned glass in there! Got out the water and told the dispatch I would need suction too. And what is the daughter doing...getting her mom makeup for the trip and was trying to get me to move so she could "freshen" her mom up...TOTAL mistake number three...I got very stern with her!
So paramedics are in the room and I am consulting with the head paramedic giving report when I hear the paramedics arguing with the daughter. I go in and the daughter was furious and grabbing her mother from the gurney to transfer her to the bsc to go to the bathroom first!!! Oh man did I let her have it, and I didn't care if she complained to management! Mistake number four!
Then the daugher faught the paramedics yet again about the oxygen mask. She is a DNR...no oxygen! OH PLEASE! So basically finally I was able to get her out of the room (with all the furniture and equipment and people I couldn't get her out!), and explained that oxygen is a comfort measure and since mother was breathing and had a pulse we were not doing any time of resusitation!!! Mistake number five!
I was soooooooo glad when they left, and daughter went too. I feel bad for the hospital though! OH brother!
And yes, patient died...it was initially a faint from getting out of bed too fast, but the water was aspirated, which lead to complication...and she died two days later!
What is it with people...let us do our jobs for goodness sakes..that is why you called isn't it????
Oh man, it is nice to hear that we are not the only unit with this ridiculous crap going on! Well, not nice really... but you get my drift. I work in a large OB unit where we truly have NO visiting guidelines. It is a *!% free-for-all here, because we are supposed to be a "family-centered" birthing center. Okay, that was a great idea about 20 years ago, when people still had parents who taught them some manners and before many people have seemingly lost their *+#$! minds. (can you tell this gets me riled up?) Meanwhile, we are a large hospital smack-dab in the middle of a major, poor city. People can come and go 24/7, no age limits, no limit to number of people in the room at one time. Our rooms (LDRs and PP rooms)are set for ONE "support person" to spend the night. How many times do i come in and find people (including children) sprawled across the floor on blankets, the post partum mattress kept in the closet, pillows, etc. Yes, this would make for an interesting time in an emergency, wouldn't it? I personally don't go for that crap, and when I put my foot down, I get "well the other nurse said it would be okay" or "they let us do it last night". GGGRRRRR!!!! The stories I could tell! Toddlers running the halls all night, sometimes left alone with the recently-delivered mom to care for (I found one sleeping across the foot of her passed out mom/pt's bed one night - I had assumed one of the many visitors was going to take this kid home with them), a couple weeks ago there was a kid about 9 or 10 who kept popping those roller things out on his shoes and roller skating up and down the halls, can auntie/grama/baby Joey have a blanket/drink/sandwich/insulin/Tylenol/diaper. OKAY-OKAY- here's my favorite! Pt calls me to her room- her baby-daddy, who was in a wheelchair, was naked in the bathroom and needed help with his bath. SAY WHAT? 'Baby daddies' come and go at all hours, along with their buddies, cousins, you name it. We used to be "locked down" between the hours of 9pm-6am, anyone could still come in but you had to get buzzed in. For the last few months we have been on lock down 24/7 after several "incidents" including a death threat from a baby daddy to a nurse.
I have given up trying to figure out what the bleep is wrong with these people. We finally have talked our management into "looking at" changes to our visiting policy. It will be interesting (and probably very frustrating) to see how far we get.
rn500 - I've actually worked with a few nurses who would have done 'daddies' bath!! Just because it would make them appear more 'customer friendly'!:icon_roll
When some of these gals were on - there WERE no rules - and it made it twice as difficult the rest of us.
In ICU one time, we had a particular family that would come in every night - and take showers in the staff locker room. They only lived a few blocks away, and weren't staying with the patient for long periods of time. Anyhow, every nite this gal was giving EACH of them a bottle of shampoo, lotion, etc.
Just imagine how miffed they were when I refused to do that!!
Soooo yesterday at work, I was in a semi-private room and was taking vitals on the patient is bed 2 (near the window) and she has to go to the bathroom. So I get her out of bed and then I hear bed 1's family knocking on the bathroom door saying "Someone needs to use the restroom!". Bed 1 is a fresh fractured hip, so she obviously can't go into the bathroom! Bed 1's family member (granddaughter, I believe, but a GROWN granddaughter) was using the bathroom and bed 2 had to WAIT FOR HER TO FINISH! I mean, come on!!!! The public bathroom was not that far away! What is wrong with people. Not to mention that bed 1 had just arrived about an hour before and now had about 7 people in the semi-private room, including two children who were less than 5! It's terrible, but our facility does not enforce the visiting hours OR visitation of children under 14 (unless it's during flu season)! It just makes me so angry!!!!! At least, they didn't ask for a bunch of extra chairs! Not that we would have had them, we were full, but argggggghhh!:angryfire [/quote'] Ha Ha -when I read your post, I was reminded of the time I was in the hospital for a GI problem and I had received a prep for a colonoscopy the next morning. The DIL of the patient in the first bed was using the patient bathroom to fix her makeup until I basically told her "get out, or in one minute , there's going to be a HUGE mess" ( I used nastier words to her though) Next time, she used the visitor bathroom in the hall...
The more of these posts I read, the luckier I feel to be working in the OR. We have little family contact and when we do, it's usually to go out to the waiting room(thank the Lord for waiting rooms!) and give them a heads up. Most of them are pleasant at that point because they're grateful that you kept them in the loop. Hospitals truly need to fix the whole "family knows best" problem because it speeds up burnout. I also hate how they want you to call patients "clients" or even worse, "customers". I refuse to do it because it plays into the whole problem. What's next, a "money back guarantee" if your loved one doesn't pull through?
[/quote'] Ha Ha -when I read your post, I was reminded of the time I was in the hospital for a GI problem and I had received a prep for a colonoscopy the next morning. The DIL of the patient in the first bed was using the patient bathroom to fix her makeup until I basically told her "get out, or in one minute , there's going to be a HUGE mess" ( I used nastier words to her though)
Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN
1,790 Posts
I like it when they come and ask you to go to Paeds and get a fresh diaper for L'ill Kaitluyn - or maybe a bottle of formula because she is hungry. And while I am there, perhaps I could bring back the VCR and a movie for Kaitluyn's big brother Herbert, because he is bored.